WuzzaDem

Mitt Romney Was a Mean High School Bully? I'm Shocked!

Mitt Romney and his preppie friends in high school bullied a male student for being gay, or gay-like, going so far as holding him down and cutting his hair?!

The Washington Post -- citing five of Romney’s fellow students at the Cranbrook School in Bloomfield Hills, Mich. -- reported Thursday that Romney led a posse that pinned down another boy while Romney, himself, cut the boy’s bleached-blond hair, which usually draped over one eye.

WHAAAAAT?!

The man who, as a grown-ass adult with a wife and family, tied the caged "family" dog to the roof rack of the family station wagon for a 12-hour (one way) highway-speed roadtrip (while the family luggage travelled safely and comfortably inside the vehicle)...

And then pulled in a gas station to hose the dog off with cold water (while the dog was still caged and tied to the roof rack) - because the dog had subsequently developed a severe case of diahrrea - and then got right back on the highway, the dog now soaking wet...

A cruel and heartless bully bastard?! A cruel and heartless bully bastard who later bragged about this heartless cruelty to the Boston Globe in 2007, citing this heartless cruelty as an example of his "crisis management" skills?

Never mind that this crisis was one that he created.

BTW, where was the more-humanlike Ann Romney during this 24-hour roundtrip exercise in animal cruelty? Riding shotgun, no doubt, still smitten with the "wild and crazy" bully boy she fell for in high school.

Expect more substantiated stories about Mr. Romney's mean-spiritedness, sense of entitlement, and lack of character in the months ahead. 

By November, Mitt Romney will likely be considered one of the worst presidential candidates in recent history, and a huge embarrassment for the Republican party.

- Mitt Romney's efforts to equate his sons campaigning for him in Iowa (aboard a luxury Winnebago) with military service should have been a big enough red flag for all to see back in 2008, but no-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o...

 

Dogs Against Romney

 

Hi. I'm Rusty.

 
Mitt Romney is mean to dogs. Help me get my message out.

 

(Reposted from 2008...)

BP: "Two Pipes? That's Impossible!"

As Operation Uncap & Recap gets underway this weekend in the Gulf, an interesting piece of information has recently come to light.

First, some background:

One of the problems in successfully capping the well way-back-when occurred on June 2nd. In order for the cap to form an effective seal, the riser pipe of the main well needed to be cut cleanly across. The better the cut, the better the seal.

Unfortunately, the saw used to cut the riser pipe became stuck in the casing. Subsequently, giant shears were used to make the cut, resulting in a more jagged, uneven edge, requiring a looser fitting cap that failed to form an adequate seal.

Nevertheless, these efforts were described by Admiral Thad Allen as"another positive development".

In Admiral Allen's press briefing on Friday, as he summarized plans to recap the well by the middle of next week, he revisited the problems BP engineers had encountered on June 2nd ...

"...let me take you through the sequence. It is complicated. First of all, we have a cap over the well head right now and the reason there’s a loose cap with a rubber seal on the bottom is we weren’t able to get a clean cut when we cut the riser pipe. We used a diamond wire saw and we got inside. We found out there was actually two sets of drill pipe there. And trying to use that diamond wire saw to cut against it—if you’ve ever tried to saw a limb or a piece of wood where you couldn’t hold it and it could move—you can’t get any traction, it doesn’t cut. So then we stopped.

"We then used the big, hydraulic shears which were a very imperfect cut but we did cut it. So it was cut at an angle and we had this jagged cut...

"...we will completely remove that cut off stub of riser pipe and just deal with what we got. What you’ll have then is an open pipe with a phalange (flange) and two pieces of pipe sticking up—the drill pipe and the piece of pipe that presumably fell down beside it as a result of the explosion and the riser pipe being bent over.

"At that point there will be a metal strap put around both of those pipes to make them closer together so it’s easier to put something over the top of them. At that point, they’re going to put a cylindrical device over the top of the two pipes that are banded together."

Of particular interest in this briefing is the repeated reference to not one, but two drill pipes, side by side, inside the wreckage of the well's blowout preventer, and the implication that a second freestanding pipe may have contributed to the failure of the initial cut.

A troubling acknowledgment considering that in late May, when scientists from the Department of Energy detected the presence of two pipes in the well's main riser, BP dismissed the Energy findings as "impossible" because only one pipe in sections was used for drilling.

Troubling because it appears someone up the chain of command deferred to BP's assessment that two pipes were "impossible", over evidence (presented by the DOE) to the contrary. 

Why anyone is still deferring to BP's assessment of anything is more than a mystery, it's a shame.

 

Exclusive: Copy of Obama's New Cabinet Nominee Questionnaire Leaked

***Exclusive: Must credit WuzzaDem***

Questionnaire

1. Please provide copies of all resumes and biographical statements issued by you or any other entity at your discretion or with you consent within the past ten years.
   
   
2.  Has a tax lien or other collection procedure ever been instituted against you or your spouse by federal, state or local authorities? If so, describe the circumstances and the resolution of the matter.
   
   
3. If you or your spouse has ever lived or worked abroad, please describe the circumstances.
   
   
4. Hey, about that tax thing – you do know that we’re asking about ANY liens or back taxes, right?
   
   
5. Briefly describe the most controversial matter you have been involved with in the course of your career.
   
   
6. Not to harp on this, but, seriously, if you have ANY outstanding taxes, please tell us. We’re getting killed, here.
   
   
7. Please provide the names, addresses, and telephone numbers of three professional references. Also, think really hard about that tax question again, because there are a few dipshits out there that who really screwing things up for us.
   
   
8. What’s so f*#king hard about that question, anyway? You either owe back taxes or you don’t.
   
   
9. Seriously, if it turns out you DO owe back taxes (or for that matter, if your gardener, nanny, dog-walker, or anyone else turns out to have problems with their immigration status), and you lie to me it’s your ASS.
   
   
10. I’m not kidding. I know some people that would be only too happy to drag you out of your house and put a serious hurt on you.
    
    
11. Ever had your eyelashes pulled out with pliers? Me neither, but I’m sure it’s painful. BACK TAXES, A-HOLE – DO YOU OWE ANY?
    
    
12. Hey, here’s an idea – how about you also tell us if you’re…oh, I don’t know…BEING INVESTIGATED by federal authorities? Some people don’t get that.
    
    
13. You DO owe back taxes, don’t you? I KNEW IT! Mother f*&ker!!! What? Oh, you don’t? Sorry, my bad.
    
    
14. Wait a second – I’m not falling for this again. If you were chosen to be a part of this administration then there’s at least a 50% chance you’ve been ducking SOME kind of taxes, have some immigration problem, you’ve knocked up a friend’s daughter (wait – no, that’s CNN I’m thinking of – OK, so forget that part), so come clean already.
    
    
15. You know what, whatever position you were being considered for, I’m sure I can do it myself, so let’s just forget it. Besides, you probably owe back taxes anyway.

Congratulations To Everyone Who Helped Make This Happen...

...and I do mean everyone.

 

 

Getting Gary Busey Away From That Kid Would Probably Be A Good Start

Seriously. He looks like he might break something.

(Actual ad from the sidebar of another blog)

Nine Days Before The Election, An Undecided Voter Stops By The Local Starbucks

Welcome to Starbucks, can I help you?

 

 

Yes, my name is Jim. Jim the...uhhh...candlestick maker.

 

 

OK.

 

 

Yes, that's my name - Jim the candlestick maker. Small businessman, registered independent, and undecided voter.

 

 

That's very interesting - can I get you something?

 

 

Certainly, but first, by way of casual conversation, just let me say that I believe my taxes will be much lower under an Obama administration than they would if John McCain were elected.

 

 

Well, you're entitled to your opinion.

 

 

That's why I'll be voting for Obama.

 

 

I thought you were undecided.

 

 

Well, I just decided.

 

 

Good for you - now what can I....

 

 

I also believe that, should Obama be elected, a disaster of unprecedented magnitude will befall this country.

 

 

Really?

 

 

Absolutely. If Obama wins, then within six months, businesses all across the country will fail, families will be destroyed, heads will explode, eyeballs will bleed, and groins will be hit with whiffle bats.

 

 

I'm sorry, did you say 'groins will be hit with whiffle bats'?

 

 

Ever been hit in the groin with a whiffle bat?

 

 

No, I haven't.

 

 

Take my word for it - it hurts like hell. Anyway, that's another reason I'll be voting for Obama.

 

 

You're voting for Obama because a terrible catastrophe will happen if he's elected?

 

 

Well, at least it'll be a change from the last eight years.

 

 

No offense, but that doesn't really make sense.

 

 

Maybe I was just employing a bit of rhetorical flourish.

 

 

That sounded pretty specific to me.

 

 

You big corporate executives are just so isolated that you don't understand how us regular Americans think.

 

 

I'm not an executive, I just work at this franchise.

 

 

What's a franchise?

 

 

Well, this is just one of the Starbucks locations around the...

 

 

You mean there's more than one of these places?

 

 

Yeah, there are...

 

 

Holy crap, I can see at least five people here, how big do you need to be???

 

 

There are actually eight full-time employees at this location.

 

 

Talk about your Wall Street greed! Well, this unchecked thirst for profits at the expense of the folks on Main Street will come to end end when Barack Obama is president!

 

 

Whatever - look I really need to take your order.

 

 

OK, just give me a regular cup of coffee, the way they make it in Scranton.

 

 

I don't know how they make coffee in...

 

 

Racist!

 

 

Scranton's in eastern Pennsylvania, you moron!

 

 

Who is that? And why is he calling you a racist?

 

 

Just ignore him.

 

 

But be sure to vote for him.

 

 

Sorry, I already voted.

 

 

Well, there's no law that says you can't vote more than once.

 

 

Actually, there is.

 

 

I think you're mistaken.

 

 

No, it's definitely against the law to vote more than once.

 

 

Well, Barack Obama will put an end to that outdated law.

 

 

I'm sure he will - here's your coffee, that'll be $2.79.

 

 

Two dollars and seventy-nine cents?? Whatever happened to the five-cent cup of coffee?

 

 

Coffee hasn't been five cents a cup for like thirty years, now if you don't mind...

 

 

Well, when Barack...

 

 

I know, I know - when Barack Obama is president coffee will be five cents again! Look, just take the coffee, it's on the house.

 

 

Thanks. And remember, vote McCain/Palin!

 

 

Don't you mean Obama/Biden?

 

 

Whatever.

 

 

Hey boss?

 

 

Yeah?

 

 

I've got nine vacation days coming, can I take them now?

 

 

Sure, go ahead.

 

 

I think I'll just hibernate.

This Is An Archive Site

WuzzaBlog, ain't no more.

Romney's $35 Million in Loans to His Campaign in Addition to Undisclosed "Investments" (and, I Think We Need to Talk)

As noted by Barack Obama in Thursday's night debate (in response to a question about Mitt Romney's business acumen), the confidence some have placed in Mr. Romney's financial management skills may be undeserved.

Washington Post: The Trail Romney, he said with a big grin, " hasn't gotten a good return on his investment so far in this campaign."

Hey, if other conservatives can belittle John McCain by singing the praise of Hillary Clinton, or spit on his war record the way mushroomheads in the '60s/'70s spat on soldiers returning from Vietnam, why can't I poke a little fun at Mitt Romney by quoting Barack Obama?

Speaking of using liberal perspectives to ridicule Republican presidential candidates, Michael Kinsley wrote a funny line about Romney a couple of days ago: "I remind me of Reagan."

Oh, c'mon...That was funny.

What?

I can't use liberal ammo the way you do (when you're bashing the Republican candidate of my choice) because I'm not a Real Conservative?

Um, okay...

Actually, I'm kinda glad you brought that up...

I think we need to talk...

I'm feeling a little...I don't know...I think I need some space...

Besides, I'm really not into that whole porn thing, or Christian bashing, or defending a Republican congressman who trolls the Internet for underage boys (and those who covered for him), or some of the other quirky peccadilloes that seal the bond between Real Conservatives, the Rulers of All Republicans.

Another problem we have? Our senses of humor. Totally, totally different.

Take, for instance, this exchange between Mitt Romney and Mark Riss during a debate in New Hampshire last September:

MARK RISS: I don’t...I don't think you fully understand how offended my wife and I were - and probably the rest of the people who have sons, daughters, husbands and wives serving in the war on terror - to compare your son’s attempts to get you elected to my son’s service in Iraq. (Cheers, applause.) I..I...I know you apologized a couple days later and...and a firestorm started, but it was wrong, sir, and you never should have said it, (YouTube video here...) (link not working - added video below)

Here's a screenshot of Mr. Romney being admonished by Mr. Riss. 

To this day, I have absolutely no idea what Mitt Romney thought was so funny about Mr. Riss' remarks.

Maybe if Mr. Romney was listening to the rants of Code Pink or a 9-11 truther, I could understand the smirk, but...

Another weird thing? I don't see much point in defending a top Romney aide accused of impersonating a law enforcement officer on the basis that he's just a poor, helpless civilian (pretending to be a law enforcement officer).

BOSTON: An ever-present aide to Republican presidential contender Mitt Romney took a leave of absence Friday after he became the subject of investigations in two states for allegedly impersonating a law enforcement officer... In 2004, Garrity was cited and fined by Massachusetts officials after a Ford Crown Victoria registered to him was found to have lights, a siren, radios and other law enforcement equipment — including a baton — after it was parked illegally in Boston's North End. At the time, Garrity was paid $75,000 (€55,799) annually as Romney's gubernatorial chief of operations.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, in my opinion, this is the kind of stuff that puts a big stink on Republicans...

But, hey, it's your party.

Anway, back to business at the Hogwarts School of Financial Wizardry...

Baltimore Sun: The Swamp That makes $35.35 million that the multimillionaire, former governor of Massachusetts has “loaned’’ himself in his bid for the Republican Party’s presidential nomination though the end of 2007 -- without a disclosure yet of how much more he has invested so far this year... Total receipts for the campaign to date: $90 million, according to the Romney campaign. And more than one-third of that came from the former head of Bain Capital who has campaigned as a guy who knows something about economics.

What a contrast to the economics-challenged McCain, eh?, who pulled a stunning comeback on a shoestring budget.

Weird.

You know what else that's weird?

Securing the family luggage safely inside the family station wagon (with the family) during 12-hour (one-way) road trips while the family dog is caged and strapped to the family luggage rack atop the family station wagon.

Weird magical dog carrier, too. According to Mr. Romney, this is both an "airtight" and "fresh air" kennel. I guess that's why dogs never suffocate when locked in one for 12 hours at a time.

In one report on this story, Mr. Romney claimed to have built a windshield for the luggage rack to keep Seamus comfortable. Yes, Mr. Romney built and then welded a windshield to the luggage rack that would withstand the wind resistance encountered on top of a station wagon traveling at highway speeds. What's not to believe?

But as "airtight" as this "fresh air" dog carrier was, don't be thinkin' it was diarrhea-tight.

All Headline News Romney told the Boston Globe that he remained cool under the trying circumstances, quickly exited the highway, pulled into a service station and used a water hose to rinse the car free of what turned out to be diarrhea from the stressed out dog on the roof. He then thought to blast Seamus with some water to clean the diarrhea off him before pulling back onto the highway and continuing the trip to Canada with the dog still lashed to the station wagon's roof.

That blast of cold water (and puddling inside the carrier) must have done wonders for Seamus' Happy Diarrhea once the station wagon resumed highway speeds.

Even Tammy Bruce thought this whole story was weird...At the time, anyway...

And all Romney can come up with is that his dog "likes fresh air." So much so it apparently scares the s*** out of him. Talk about patronizing and stupid. Yeah, let's install this guy in the White House.

Mark Levin, where are you?

(I guess these two are just holding their noses, trying to make the best of animal cruelty).

You want to know what's really, really weird? This story wasn't dug up by some reporter or Democratic operative. Romney actually volunteered this story to the Boston Globe as an example of his "emotion-free" crisis management skills.

Amazing as it is weird as it is clueless.

So what ever happened to Seamus (since passed), the dog so beloved by the Romneys?

Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace (Video) He was in a kennel at home a great deal of time as well... We loved the dog. It was where he was comfortable. And we had five kids inside the car. My guess is he liked it a lot better in his kennel than he would have liked it inside... And he was a good friend of the family. We love our pets...

Take a guess.

Boston Globe So a few years after Seamus's ride to Canada, Mitt sent Seamus to live for a time with (Mitt's sister) Jane and her family in California. "We had more space, so he could roam more freely," she says... She says he was such a social dog that he often left Mitt Romney's Belmont home to visit his "dog friends" around town. "He kept ending up at the pound," she says. "They were worried about him getting hit crossing the street."

At least he was a few thousand miles away from the Mitt.

Can you imagine Ronald Reagan cozying up to this guy?

Rachel Marsden Ronald Reagan had an incredible respect for animals. His four-legged companions at the ranch included dogs, cattle, and horses. When they died, he would take them himself to be buried in a little hilltop cemetery that he had created especially for them on the ranch. He would carve each one of them a special headstone. He wanted each of them to be remembered.

Or T. Boone Pickens, friend and supporter of Ronald Reagan (who, incidentally, donated ten million dollars to the Air Force One Pavilion at the Reagan Library in which the most recent Republican debate was held) and a supporter of the Giuliani campaign?

Time Texas oilman and rancher T. Boone Pickens grabbed a lot of sympathetic headlines after Hurricane Katrina by airlifting 800 abandoned dogs and cats out of the storm zone. The Texas oilman, 78, hopes his wife's passion for saving horses turns out as well as her push to get animals out of New Orleans after Katrina. Of the 800 animals airlifted out after the storm, he says over 70% have since been reunited with their owners. If he had been told to leave his dog, Murdock, behind in the storm waters, says Pickens, "I'd yell at them to pitch me an inner tube, and I'd take my chances with Murdock." Is this is a kinder, gentler Pickens than we're used to seeing? He laughs and says, "That side has always been there. Just unrecognized by some people."

(No wonder Nancy Reagan supports McCain. Too bad that as a former First Lady she can't come out and endorse him publicly).

But the weirdness never quite stopped for poor Seamus. It followed him all the way to Romney, California, a place where even male dogs can nurse kittens.

Seamus in California.

It's like the bullsh*t never stops.

Well, I'm about as weirded out as I care to be for the evening, so farewell, Real Conservatives.

Sorry things didn't work out between us.

But now that you've streamlined the Republican party by chasing out all of us riffraff, you're poised to go balls-out in 2012.

Good luck with that.

 

Fred Tompson Drops Out Of The Race By The Local Starbucks

Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?

 

 

Yeah, I, um...uh...uh...

 

 

That is to say, I...uh...

 

 

...

 

 

Uh...uh...

 

 

Did you want to order something, sir?

 

 

What the hell does it look like I'm doing right now?

 

 

Sorry - go ahead.

 

 

You know, if John Wayne was here I'd have him kick your ass.

 

 

John who?

 

 

Oh, I get it - you're one of those Chuck Norris fans.

 

 

Chuck who?

 

 

Never mind. Now you broke my concentration, so I'm gonna have to start over.

 

 

So...uh...uh...I, um...

 

 

You do serve coffee here, don't you?

 

 

Yes. Yes, we do.

 

 

Good, good. I got me a hankerin' for some coffee right now. I'm a little...uh...err...

 

 

Tired?

 

 

Yeah, that's it - tired.

 

 

Do you know what kind of coffee you want?

 

 

Now that I do know.

 

 

Excellent.

 

 

I'll have the uh...uh...the, uh...

 

 

...

 

 

I mean, the uh...uh...the, uh...

 

 

Sir...

 

 

No, don't tell me - I don't need help.

 

 

I wasn't going to help you. I was going to tell you that you're going to have to get out of line if you don't order something now.

 

 

Well if that's how you're gonna act then just forget it. I'll just...uh...uh...

 

 

Leave?

 

 

Right - I'll leave. Bye.

 

 

Goodbye, sir.

 

 

...

 

 

Too bad. Something tells me he would have been my best customer evah.

 

UPDATE: Werd.

UPDATE II: He wanted tea?

 

Merry Christmas From Mac and PC

Hi, I'm a Mac.

 

 

And I'm a PC.

 

 

And I just want to wish everyone a merry Christmas.

 

 

So do I.

 

 

Wait a second - what do you mean, "So do I"?

 

 

What? It's Christmas.

 

 

I know, but don't you usually contradict me or insult me?

 

 

Actually, I usually just stand here and let people admire me for being so hip and cool and laid-back - you know, because I'm a Mac - and wait for you to say something that embarrasses PC users. Because, you know, they don't have Macs. But, in the spirit of Christmas, I think we should just wish everyone well.

 

 

That's what I call holiday spirit. Anyway, Merry Christmas from both of us.

 

 

And remember, everyone - Vista blows.

 

 

It certainly does.

 

 

Why didn't I just stay home?

 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the WuzzaDems!

Ever The Gentleman, Mike Huckabee Uses His Own Press Conference To Take The Heat Off Of Dana Perino

Of course I know who he is - he's the guy they made that motorcycle movie about.

 

 

Come on, I'm not stupid, people - I was the governor of Alabama for ten years.

 

 

Weren't you the governor of Arkansas?

 

 

Whatever.

 

Indeed.

Anderson Cooper: "My biggest concern personally was having the campaigns manipulate the process."

Um.....yeah, OK. Here's a video clip of an interview with Cooper after the CNN/YouTube Democrat debate back in July of this year:

Yeah, that's the problem - the campaigns manipulating the process.

Scenes From The CNN/YouTube Republican Debate (Part I)

Our next question is for Fred Thompson. It concerns homeland security, and was submitted by William from New York.

 

 

Good, because I have a lot to say about homeland security.

 

 

Senator Thompson, given the recent reports of threats made against the spouses of presidential candidates, don't you think it would be safer for your wife to stay at home when you're on the road?

 

 

What reports of threats? What the hell kind of question is that???

 

 

Just askin'.

UPDATE: They really should spruce up the stage with some plants.

 

Rep. Carla Blanchard Dartez (Dipshit-LA) Needs To Work On Her Valedictions

Don't let your meat loaf!

 

 

What the hell's that supposed to mean?

 

"Una panona bonka"

Hillary Clinton Sets The Record Straight On The Whole "Planted Question" Controversy

Yikes:

SIOUX CITY, Iowa — Democratic presidential frontrunner Hillary Clinton’s campaign admitted Friday that it planted a global warming question in Newton, Iowa, Tuesday during a town hall meeting to discuss clean energy.

Clinton campaign spokesman Mo Elliethee admitted that the campaign had planted the question and said it would not happen again.
...
“However, Senator Clinton did not know which questioners she was calling on during the event. This is not standard policy and will not be repeated again.”

Now, I'd be glad to answer any questions.

 

 

Senator, the health care crisis in this country...

 

 

Yeah, yeah, there's probably something on my web site about that. How about you, in the back, miss? Did you have a question about the allegation that someone on my staff planted a question at my last town hall meeting?

 

 

Oh, right, um, were you aware someone in the crowd had been instructed to ask a specific question, or was this done without your knowledge, possibly by an overzealous staff member, and will it happen again?

 

 

That's a very good question. Let me be very clear - this is something that was done without my knowledge, by an overzealous staff member, and I assure you it will not happen again.

 

 

Does that answer your question?

 

 

Yes. Yes, it does.

 

 

I wish she'd just hurry up and tank.

 

Thanks For The $36.00, Asswipes

Yes, that's a blogad for Lions for Lambs in the sidebar.

Here's the deal: John Hawkins from Right Wing News was running something called a "Hive Blogad" a few months back, which featured links to various posts from conservative blogs, but there were some technical difficulties, so it was "deferred", which means the order for the ad sits in my little Blogads inbox, waiting to be reactivated. Whenever I log on to Blogads, I see "Conservative Hive Livelink".

This morning I got an e-mail from Blogads telling me a new ad had been submitted, I logged in, and approved the new version of the Hive ad - I thought. When I looked at the blog, these three bozos were staring at me from the sidebar:

AAAAAH!

I logged onto Blogads again, and sure enough, I had mistakenly approved an ad named "Conservative/Lions for Lambs". Apparently Redford and his buddies are looking to convert a few lizard-brained right-wingers with their "powerful anti-war message." Way to budget those advertising dollars, jagoffs.

Well, at least the movie's getting good reviews:

Watching some NFL football on Sunday, I saw the new TV ad for Lions for Lambs. The ad had quotes from favorable “reviews”. If you look at the fine print two of the positive “reviews” were from posts on Daily Kos.

Anyway, thanks for the $36.00, dickheads. I'll use it to pay my TypePad bill. Then we can publish more posts like these.

UPDATE: WTF? They took the ad down. Something I said?

UPDATE II: Hey, do I get to keep the $36.00?

UPDATE III: Looks like I don't get to keep the $36.00

Yahoo! Looks Like We're Retiring

I've just been informed by a high-level official at "Yahoo Lottery Incorperation UK and Ireland" (I guess that's the Irish spelling) that I've been selected from thousands of Yahoo! e-mail users to receive "a prize money of (Four Hunderd Thousands British Pounds Starling £400,000 GBP) of the year, 2007 Lottery-win promotion."

Seems this is a promotion that was started by the Yahoo! e-mail team to reward Yahoo! e-mail users.

Well, they got my attention, and now I'm a Yahoo! e-mail user for life. All I need to do to collect my "Four Hunderd Thousands British Pounds Starling" is reply to this e-mail address:

barr.cynthiamorfield@gmail.com

Try and stop me.

Or, We Could Just Paint a Giant Target On It

Ack:

New York's iconic Empire State Building is to be lit up green from Friday in honor of the Muslim holiday of Eid, the biggest festival in the Muslim calendar marking the end of Ramadan, officials said.

Word

OK, This Is Really Pissing Me Off

Seriously, it's just ridiculous.

UPDATE: Never mind - now that I look at it in the proper context, it makes sense.

UPDATE II: Turns out that wasn't the proper context, after all. Now I'm even more pissed off.

UPDATE III: I might have been a little hasty about that context. I guess I should look at it again.

UPDATE IV: Maybe I didn't put the context in the proper context. Is that even possible?

UPDATE V: Now I've lost track - would that mean I'm still pissed off, even more pissed off, or that it doesn't bother me any more?

UPDATE VI: Should I just forget about the context and put it into something else?

OK, Back To Posting

Welcome to Starbucks, can I help you?

 

 

Oh, yeah? Well, maybe you should...wait, you're not Harry Reid.

 

 

Yeah, I was expecting Tom Harkin.

 

 

What the hell's going on?

 

 

Welcome to Starbucks, I'm Chris Matthews.

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

I think John might be a little rusty.

 

 

Well, I'm out of here. See ya.

 

 

Later.

 

 

Did I just say welcome to Starbucks?

 

And Now...We Resume Blogging, As Though We Never Said Anything About "Quitting"

"Whaaaat? Oh, come on, that was satire!

UPDATE: I can't believe this guy copied us by coming back three days before we did. Wait a second...oh, never mind. No, it's not a joke. Hey, watch the language, salty.

UPDATE II: By the way, no more political blogging at WuzzaDem. That's right, I've decided to write about my real passion - pop culture. I know, I never let on before, but I'm a real celebrity-watcher. So, let's get started:

Did you hear about what's-her-name? I hear she's divorcing that guy. She is divorcing him, right? Man, I hate that guy.

Wait, maybe I'm thinking of someone else. Not about what's-her-name, I know all about her, I mean about that guy. What the hell is his name? You know who I mean, right? Is he the one who shaved his head? You know, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure she shaved her head. Yeah, that's right - she shaved her head, then that President Hilton guy got a picture of it when she was getting out of the car, and he put it on the internet.

No, wait, that can't be right - what kind of name is President?

OK, forget what's-her-name. Did you hear what that actor said? What a dickhead. That guy should just STFU and be in that movie he's in. Or is it a TV show? Maybe it's a made-for-TV movie. Whatever.

Seriously, though, what kind of parents would name their son President? It's bad enough the guy was born with blue hair, his mom and dad have to compound the problem give him some freaky name. Probably hippies. Freakin' hippies.

What was I talking about? You know what, just forget I said anything.

The Last Final WuzzaDem Post: An Episode of Mission Impossible in Which the Recording in the Opening Scene Was Made By Jim Phelps's Elderly Grandfather

"Good morning, Mr. Phelps."

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

"What, you can't say "good morning" to your own grandpa?"

 

And on that rather lame note, we're hanging up the "Closed" sign.

 

 

I hate to be picky, but do you have anything a little more...I don't know..modern?

 

 

That's a little better, but why is it crooked? And what's with the glare?

 

 

Oh, come on! That would have been a perfectly good sign, but you had to hang those stupid drapes - or whatever that is - in front of it and obscure the first and last letters.

 

 

Don't you think this one's kind of...commercial?

You know what - just forget I said anything, it's fine.

So, that really was the last post. Thanks from both of us, it's been fun, but now we must bid you ado adew adoo whatever.

UPDATE: I'm They're touched. Bravo, basil!

UPDATE III (from John): Thanks InstaPunk. And thanks to everyone for the kind comments and e-mails.

To answer few of the questions people have been asking, we haven't struck it rich; we're not in the poorhouse; I do like salsa; we are not perfecting our plan for world domination; OK, so that was picante sauce; no, we don't actually have a plan for world domination; look I don't care - it had tomatoes, onions, garlic and cilantro, and I put it on my corn chips, so just drop it already; OK, so if we don't have a plan for world domination then maybe I shouldn't have said we weren't perfecting it; I swear, if you bring up the damned salsa again I'm going to stab myself in the eye with an ice pick!

You know what, I'm done answering questions.

Taking a Break

larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig

We're going to be gone for a while. We won't be anywhere near the building in the photo above. Actually, I have no idea why that photo is even in this post.
larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry
That's just weird.

Anyway, we'll be gone for about a week or so. But not anywhere near that building. At least, not that I know of.

Whatever.

Bummer
 larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig larry craig

Maybe He Should Consider Changing His Name

AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!

Over video of someone apparently named "Illegal Immigrant", the reporter from this piece says, "...just a few minutes later, this man walks in to the store. He says that Immigration laws have left him no choice but to go back to Mexico since he can't support his family here."

"If I have no license and I'm not going to be legalized, I can't work."

Yeah, cuz that would be...um...illegal. And if there's one thing Illegal Immigrant doesn't do, it's break the law. Well, most laws, anyway.

HAPPY 231ST!

I Guess "Death Valley" is a Euphemism for "John's House"

116-DEGREES PREDICTED FOR VEGAS THIS WEEK; 127 FOR DEATH VALLEY.

I think I need to water the back yard.

Those Guys at Blog-Rating Can Suck It!

This can't be right:

Somebody must have f**cked screwed goofed up.

UPDATE: Oh, now I understand.

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

* hell (4x)
* bastard (3x)
* crap (2x)
* torture (1x)

See, the problem is that someone used the word torture. And crap. Hey, don't look at me.

Free Michael Moore!

No, Michael Moore is not in jail, just wanted to let all the progressives out the know that they can watch Moore's new blockbuster Sicko, free!

That's right, no need to spend you hard-earned money making corporate fat-cats like Harvey Weinstein even richer - just go to www.piratebay.org (or any of the other progressive film distribution outlets) and download Sicko absolutely free.

And if you're worried about Moore, don't. He's all for it, at least according to what he said in 2004 about Farencrap 9/11 being distributed via the web:

"I don't agree with the copyright laws and I don't have a problem with people downloading the movie and sharing it with people as long as they're not trying to make a profit off my labour. I would oppose that," he said. "I do well enough already and I made this film because I want the world, to change. The more people who see it the better, so I'm happy this is happening."

So, if you really like Michael Moore, you won't pay to see Sicko (or any of his other films, for that matter), which you can download for free at sites like Piratebay.org.

"Whatever you do, please don't pay to see my movies."

BTW, here's my favorite comment from this thread at piratebay.org, left by Canadian commenter "tianton", who rips "yanks" for being "f**ked" and "[in] denial" because we're more concerned about Paris Hilton then we are health care (emphasis mine):

My comment was more of a rant to all the ignorant and idiotic comments posted about this movie. By the way i have not seen this movie as of yet but am looking forward to it.

Hey, you can't make this stuff up.

Last Comic Standing Is Dead To Me

Not that it was a great show in the first place, but WTF were they thinking rejecting Danny Morsel?

Asswipes.

OK, so they put got Mel Silverback through. Still...

 

Yes, As a Matter of Fact, I Am a Lazy Bastard

Thanks for noticing that.

I know, I know - no posts. Sorry, just busy with...stuff? Yeah, stuff. Not bad stuff - everything's fine, I just don't really have time to blog right now.

Wait, I guess that can't be true because I'm blogging right now. Anyway, you know how long stuff can take. OK, maybe you don't. If you do, fine, if not, just take my word for it.

I would put up one of those "I won't be posting very much for a while" posts, but I've had to go back on those before, so just know that it might be a while.

Not in a row!

Tell you what - you don't need to check back here, I'll just e-mail you if I post anything. No, scratch that - I'd have to send out twenty or thirty e-mails, and I'm too lazy for that - you know, the whole 'lazy bastard' thing.

You know what - just forget I said anything.

UPDATE: Reprinting my e-mails without my permission? That's what you call fun?

 

General Glenn Greenwald Supports The Troops Where It Really Counts

OK, first I'd like to thank you for joining me this morning, and let me say that as your colonel...

 

 

Actually, you're a general...sir.

 

 

Whatever. I'm not as concerned with formalities as I am with getting this illegal occupation on the right track.

 

 

Excuse me, sir, but don't you mean this war?

 

 

Hey, you say tomato, yada yada yada. Any-hoo, let's talk about supplies.

 

 

Well, sir, if you'll look at your handout you'll see that we're efficiently replenishing ammo, armor, vehicles...

 

 

What about croutons?

 

 

Croutons??

 

 

Croutons! You know, for salad. I love the smell of croutons in the morning.

 

 

I'm, uh, I'm not sure we have any croutons coming in any time soon.

 

 

Then what the hell are we putting on our salads?

 

 

Well, I, uh...

 

 

Never mind, I guess we can get by with chow mein noodles for now, but let's get some croutons here, stat!

 

 

Right. Um, as I was saying, our supply lines are...

 

 

How are we doing on Cool Whip?

 

 

Did you say Cool Whip?

 

 

I don't know if you've noticed, but it's kind of hot outside, and there's nothing like a little Berry Bliss Cake to take the edge off the heat.

 

 

Berry...Bliss Cake?

 

 

I know, I know, it sounds complicated, but it's really easy to make - you just take three-quarters of a cup of cold milk, mix it with your favorite flavor of...

 

 

Sir, I'm not sure that discussing dessert recipes is the best use of our time right now.

 

 

I get you - a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips, eh?.

 

 

That's not what I meant - it's just that our dessert choices may be limited for a few weeks.

 

 

Desserts? Limited?

 

 

Yes sir.

 

 

Wow. War really is hell, isn't it?

Need explanation? Try Uninformed Comment.

 

Dear Asswipes at Fox

Just a quick note to say...what the hell is wrong with you???

I TiVo'd the American Idol finale last night.

Is that sinking in?? I'll say it again: I TIVO'd the finale.

YOU WENT OVER!!! I MISSED END OF THE FREAKING SHOW!

And you didn't just go over by a few seconds, it had to be at least 5-10 minutes over, because you hadn't even gotten to the fifteen-minute-drumroll-fabricated-drama part of the show.

Again, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Did you really need to go over? Why? So Bette Midler could perform?? Who gives a rat's ass about Bette Midler??

You people are f&#*ing morons.

That's it - you're dead to me.

UPDATE: Althouse is pissed, too.

 

Why So Stuck-Up, Googlers?

Cranky Neocon linked to Google's Image Labeler, which is pretty cool. Here's how Google describes it:

Over a two-minute period, you and your partner will be shown the same set of images and asked to provide as many labels as possible to describe each image you see.

The goal of course is to improve image tags and search results, so I thought I'd try it out. It was OK, but the people they paired me with were really thin-skinned and, I don't know - distant. In fact, of the ten people I was paired with, not one would even answer me when I tried to engage in casual conversation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh well, I give up.

 

Ron Paul's Supporters React To The News Of Ward Churchill's Suspension

Ward Churchill: The Real Deal

"Good for him! OK, so maybe the 'little Eichmanns' thing was a tad harsh, but his 'blowback' comment? Spot on."

 

After Standing Up For The Constitution, Ron Paul (AKA "The Real Deal") Gets His Eyes Checked

UPDATE: This doesn't look good for Ron Ward Paul Churchill.

 

Why I'd Never Vote For Ron Paul

This guy, who is attempting to flash his nuts over the InterTubes, says Ron Paul is his favorite politician:

Disgusting.

Sorry, but I can't roll with the nut-flashers. Oh, and Paul thinks 9/11 was our fault. Talk about nuts.

UPDATE:Overlooked: Ron Paul links 9-11 attacks to Iraq:

"Have you ever read about the reason they attacked us? They attacked us because we've been over there...We've been bombing Iraq for 10 years. I'm suggesting that we listen to the people who attacked us."

Rep. Paul is implying, of course, that we should have just let Saddam invade Kuwait. That wouldn't have presented any subsequent problems in the region. Not at all.

 

Talk About Sloppy Journalism

Take a look at the screen cap I just grabbed from this story in today's Wall Street Journal Online.

 

Now, I know journalism is fast-paced, I understand everyone is under deadline, that's it's very competitive, but doesn't anyone even proofread any more?

I've been in the same house for nearly ten years now, and they just built the Wal-Mart no more than five or six years ago. OK, let's say my memory is off by a couple of years, and maybe it's been there eight years. Then they're only off by twenty years.

I realize this was probably an innocent mistake, but there's really no excuse for it. Shame on you, WSJ Online.

UPDATE: According to some rather rude readers' e-mails, there's more than one Wal-Mart (how was I supposed to know that?), so I guess the story might be correct after all. Sorry, but it's not like I have a lot of time to write these posts, you know. You nitpickers need to get a life.

 

Today's Beverage Commentary

Diet Coke: It might not taste good, but you have to admit, it doesn't tastes very good.

UPDATE: In the comments, AnonymousDrivel is (understandably) in awe of my knack for marketing. I don't like to toot my own horn, but it's something that just comes to me naturally.

But - If those suits at Coca-Cola think that I'm going to sell out (for less than six figures), they've got another thing (I'm negotiable) coming, because I have my (seriously, make an offer) integrity to think of, and at the end of the (I'm willing to discuss some kind of performance-based bonus structure) day, all a man has is his (stock options would work, too) integrity. Without (sorry about the "suits" crack, by the way) it, he's (I'm sure they're very nice suits) nothing. I'm not about the (hey, that gives me an idea - what if you paid me in suits? I know, I know, it sounds crazy, but you guys probably go clothes shopping every few week, right? Just have the people at C&R Clothier, or wherever you shop, throw in an extra 40 regular and we're good) big paycheck, but at least I can sleep at (call me, seriously) night.

George Tenet Down Through History (Part I)

"I wonder if this has anything to do with that hydrogen."

UPDATE: You know, someone could make a living selling fire extinguishers here.

 

Barack Obama Sticks To The Facts At The Local Starbucks

Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?

 

 

I'm finally here - I made it, people!

 

 

Uh, why are you talking into a microphone?

 

 

You know, I've been waiting a long, long time to get to this counter, but I'm not discouraged!

 

 

Who are you talking to?

 

 

I don't know how many of you know this, but I've been in this line for thirty-six hours now. Thirty-six hours!

 

 

No you haven't! I saw you walk in five minutes ago.

 

 

You know, there are some people out there who want to get bogged down in meaningless details. They want to count how many minutes someone's been in a line - as if that means anything!

 

 

Hey, you brought it up, I was just...

 

 

But we're not going to let them define the debate, my friends.

 

 

What debate?

 

 

No, we're not, because when you take $474.00 out of your hard-earned pay for a Caramel Macchiato, you have a right to expect...

 

 

That's not what we charge for a Caramel...

 

 

You have a right to expect that you won't get a cup of flavored coffee so hot that it literally burns a path straight to the core of the Earth.

 

 

Now you're being ridiculous!

 

 

All right, maybe I got that wrong. You know, there are going to be times when I get tired. There are going to be times when I get weary. There are going to be times when I make mistakes.

 

 

All right, I guess that's understandable.

 

 

Especially at times like this, when I've been up for fifty-three days straight.

 

 

That's it! Either order or get out of line.

 

 

OK, give me a grande Caramel Macchiato, and make sure it's not so hot that it burns through the blacktop, like last time.

 

 

You know that never happened.

 

 

Maybe it did, maybe it didn't - I can't tell you what happened after it burned through the floorboard of my car.

 

 

Never happened.

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

OK, I was holding it between my legs and kinda burned my nuts.

 

 

I'll give you an extra cup. That'll be $4.95, please.

 

 

Here's a one-hundred dollar bill, my friend - I want you to keep the change.

 

 

This is a five.

 

 

Good night, everyone!

 

 

...

 

 

That guy's one of the most annoying people in the world. No exaggeration.

Oy.

 

Starbucks: Keepin' It Real

Errrr...

Michelle Incanno was an admitted Starbucks addict...That was until she got an unexpected jolt last week from her coffee cup.

Printed on the cup was: "Why in moments of crisis do we ask God for strength and help? As cognitive beings, why would we ask something that may well be a figment of our imaginations for guidance? Why not search inside ourselves for the power to overcome? After all, we are strong enough to cause most of the catastrophes we need to endure."

 

 

 

"This it total bullsh*t!"

 

 

 

 

"My bad."

 

 

"Now get me another triple venti non-fat latte, bitch."

Thanks to Dan Collins, who snapped the photo of the Zawahirinator on while he was on his last coffee run.

 

And Now, One Of Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People In The World

 

Not him, you moron! Seriously, this guy's the Commander-in-Chief of the most powerful nation on the planet - you call that influence?

No, here's who I was talking about:

 

Yes. The emaciated actress.

I guess she can...I don't know, maybe she can do one of those "before and after" photo shoots showing what can happen to you if you abuse drugs. And, um...I guess that's why she's...influential? Who knows what those morons who came up with this list were thinking. Maybe they're on the crack.

 

For This, I'd Travel To See John Edwards In Person

Hmmmm...

Shoppers entering a Wal-Mart Supercenter in Alabama got a reminder not to try anything funny: Two shoplifters stood outside with signs reading "I am a thief, I stole from Wal-Mart."

Attalla City Judge Kenneth Robertson Jr. ordered the two people to wear the signs for four hours each during two successive Saturdays.

Hey, maybe that judge would...Nah - it'd never happen.

 

Heh.

John Murtha Is Mad As Hell And He's Not...Wait A Second, What Was He Thinking Again?

You know, they brought this Petraeus back - just a cheap political move.

 

 

He doesn't talk to any of us. He's only interested in talking to the media.

 

 

I don't know if you talk to the guy, but if you do, you tell him I'm plenty pissed off.

 

 

 

Yyyyeaah...I'll be sure to give him the message. You know, if I see him.

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

I'm a veteran!

Seriously, d0od - WTF?

Rep. John Murtha (D-Pa.) this week criticized Gen. David Petraeus for not meeting with members of Congress during a recent visit to Washington, D.C., to report on the status of operations in Iraq, but not only did the commander of Multinational Force - Iraq meet with hundreds of lawmakers, he personally briefed Murtha himself.

H/T: Bryan

UPDATE: Maybe it's the (non?)injuries (Thanks to AnonymousDrivel)

Elizabeth Edwards Down Through History: Signing of the Emancipation Proclamation

"Meh. Self-serving photo op with a bunch of rich white guys."

Feh.

 

Tales Of Everyday Heroism

Part VII:

London, April 25, 2007: Disaster is narrowly averted when a passer-by, without hesitation and in complete disregard of his own safety, throws himself between a baked-bean-container-wielding attacker and his intended victim.Bravo, sir. Bravo.

 

It Should Be a Maahvalous Debate, Dahling

Well, this should be exciting:

The Huffington Post political blog has signed on Web media company Yahoo Inc. and online news site Slate to help host two debates among presidential hopefuls ahead of the 2008 election.

Gotta agree with Allah:

Did [Arianna Huffington] really believe Republicans would subject themselves to a forum on the most loathsomely bottom-feeding major left-wing blog on the ‘Net, dKos not excepted? Where the comments on threads about Republican politicians with health problems need to be closed preemptively to prevent the inevitable flood of death wishes?

What could possibly salvage this impending disaster? A catchy opening number!

(Sung to the tune of "Green Acres" (Duh))

 

"Slaaaaate Magazine is A-O-K"

 

 

"Doonesbury, yes - no Day-by-Day"

 

 

"Bushisms paid for my new house"

 

 

"Keep Greg Gutfeld just gimme some Mic-key Kaus."

 

Dum-da-dum-da-dum-dum-dum.

 

"Huf-fington Post is number one"

 

 

"Wishing for dead Republicans"

 

 

"Tried running for governor of C-A"

 

 

"Was Republican myself till I turned my ex-husband gay."

 

Da-dum-da-dum-dum!

 

"Fake blogs!"

 

Da-dum-da-dum-dum!

 

"Dave Plotz!"

 

Da-dum-da-dum-dum!

 

"I've never heard of ninety percent of my bloggers!"

 

Da-dum-da-dum-dum!

 

"Hitchens is one of those "scary" drunks, so I just publish anything he turns in because I'm really not good with confrontation!"

 

 

"You'll team up with Slate!"

 

 

"To host an online debate!"

 

 

"Republicans be-waaaaaaare!"

Da-dum-da-dum-dum. DUM DUM!

 

Today is Earth Day

Be sure to stop by Earth and give them your best.

UPDATE: Some people are asking for directions. Hel-LO? Ever hear of Google Maps?

It's right here:

 

Do I have to do everything around here?

 

I Didn't Know You Could Track the Location of Any Cell Phone

This is pretty cool - enter any mobile phone number and this site will show you where the phone is right now.

Dude...