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January 22, 2008

Fred Tompson Drops Out Of The Race By The Local Starbucks

[John]

Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Yeah, I, um...uh...uh...

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
That is to say, I...uh...

 

 


...

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Uh...uh...

 

 


Did you want to order something, sir?

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
What the hell does it look like I'm doing right now?

 

 


Sorry - go ahead.

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
You know, if John Wayne was here I'd have him kick your ass.

 

 


John who?

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Oh, I get it - you're one of those Chuck Norris fans.

 

 


Chuck who?

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Never mind. Now you broke my concentration, so I'm gonna have to start over.

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
So...uh...uh...I, um...

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
You do serve coffee here, don't you?

 

 


Yes. Yes, we do.

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Good, good. I got me a hankerin' for some coffee right now. I'm a little...uh...err...

 

 


Tired?

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Yeah, that's it - tired.

 

 


Do you know what kind of coffee you want?

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Now that I do know.

 

 


Excellent.

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
I'll have the uh...uh...the, uh...

 

 


...

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
I mean, the uh...uh...the, uh...

 

 


Sir...

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
No, don't tell me - I don't need help.

 

 


I wasn't going to help you. I was going to tell you that you're going to have to get out of line if you don't order something now.

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Well if that's how you're gonna act then just forget it. I'll just...uh...uh...

 

 


Leave?

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Right - I'll leave. Bye.

 

 


Goodbye, sir.

 

 


...

 

 


Too bad. Something tells me he would have been my best customer evah.

 

UPDATE: Werd.

UPDATE II: He wanted tea?

 

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