Fred Tompson Drops Out Of The Race By The Local Starbucks

Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?

 

 

Yeah, I, um...uh...uh...

 

 

That is to say, I...uh...

 

 

...

 

 

Uh...uh...

 

 

Did you want to order something, sir?

 

 

What the hell does it look like I'm doing right now?

 

 

Sorry - go ahead.

 

 

You know, if John Wayne was here I'd have him kick your ass.

 

 

John who?

 

 

Oh, I get it - you're one of those Chuck Norris fans.

 

 

Chuck who?

 

 

Never mind. Now you broke my concentration, so I'm gonna have to start over.

 

 

So...uh...uh...I, um...

 

 

You do serve coffee here, don't you?

 

 

Yes. Yes, we do.

 

 

Good, good. I got me a hankerin' for some coffee right now. I'm a little...uh...err...

 

 

Tired?

 

 

Yeah, that's it - tired.

 

 

Do you know what kind of coffee you want?

 

 

Now that I do know.

 

 

Excellent.

 

 

I'll have the uh...uh...the, uh...

 

 

...

 

 

I mean, the uh...uh...the, uh...

 

 

Sir...

 

 

No, don't tell me - I don't need help.

 

 

I wasn't going to help you. I was going to tell you that you're going to have to get out of line if you don't order something now.

 

 

Well if that's how you're gonna act then just forget it. I'll just...uh...uh...

 

 

Leave?

 

 

Right - I'll leave. Bye.

 

 

Goodbye, sir.

 

 

...

 

 

Too bad. Something tells me he would have been my best customer evah.

 

UPDATE: Werd.

UPDATE II: He wanted tea?

 

Comments

[Beth]

Genius! (As usual!)

So you're with McCain too, huh? After the last couple of days on the intarwebs since I switched from Fred! to McCain, I needed this laugh. I hope you're not catching hell like I am! ;)

[Wry Mouth]

Um. uh, uh... I never got to hear Fred Thompson speak, but, uh.

I had a point; forgot it.

Too bad for us, maybe, but I don't think Mr. Thompson had the "ganas;" I think he was running, in a way, because he felt compelled to do so.

I hope he'll still be on our team. In the meantime, let's try and leave most of the vicious give-and-take to our Loyal Oppositionists in the (D) party. We've got a chance to build a civil consensus while they are jockeying for the title of Tsar of the New National People's Order.

Let's roll up our sleeves and get a plan together so that, come November 08, we can bury alla them so far in the ground they'll end up in Red China.

That'd be a win-win, right?

[Mrs. R.]

Hey, Beth...

I hope you're not catching hell like I am! ;)

Not much, but at this point I don't care.

Every time Romney interjects "Islamic caliphate" in his sound-bite responses to just about every and any question re terrorism, I shudder.

We get it. He knows how to string those two words together in a sentence at the appropriate time. Whoopee. But that ability hardly qualifies him to lead the charge as defender of the free world.

And let's not forget his shameless and disgraceful comparison between his sons campaigning in Iowa and our soldiers fighting and dying in Iraq/Afghanistan. How anyone can even consider this clueless and empty-suit/buffoon as Commander in Chief material is beyond me - especially when the stakes are so high.

I know you served in the military and I'm embarrassed for him, i.e, that you have to hear such drivel, and from a Republican presidential candidate/front-runner, no less.

Mitt Romney must not be allowed anywhere near the bridge!

Man your station, Beth! :-)

eh, wrymouth, as you can see, it's going to be difficult for me to remain civil as long as Romney stands a chance of becoming the nominee. Sorry 'bout that :-)

[John from WuzzaDem]

So you're with McCain too, huh?

Actually, I'm going to take a close look at Stayathome.

I haven't actually seen him or heard him speak, but from what I can tell from a lot of blogs I've been reading he's the only real conservative in the race. He sounds dreamy.

[Nigel]

Sorry y'all...I can't fall in line behind McCain...

Unless he wins the nomination.

What?

I'm gonna vote for Hillary?

[skh.pcola]

Yeah, uh huh, McCain as "the only real conservative in the race" is rich in irony. That is, if "irony" is a euphemism for "blind partisan delusion."

Beth, I was an early reader of your blog (even exchanged an email or two), and it's difficult to believe that somebody with your conservative bona fides could ever support McCain. I know that I won't. He has consistently thumbed his nose at his base, but blind partisanship has keep the sphincter in office. The blind partisanship is people--apparently, people like you--who will vote against their own self-interests just to have an asshat who sports an "R" after their name get re-elected.

Sorry, I'm done and over that sort of fealty to the Republican cause. To me, the party is dead. My only choice now is to adopt a stance of apolitical apathy, until the Republican party sheds RINOtards like Romney, Suckstobee, and McCain. The Florida primary is next Tuesday. I'll vote for RuPaul in the primary, and whoever the Satan-worshipping Dhimmicraps nominate in the general election. The Republican party is now the party of automatonic yesbots who are unprincipled and will sell their future for the sake of identity politics.

And, for the record, Ron Paul is an imbecile. He is anti-Semitic, racist, ignorant, and a general caricature of reality. I will vote to nominate him in the primary because he has no chance of winning, and I still wish to vote for other positions in the general.

[Wry Mouth]

there's a recipe for peace of mind... (see above)

Mrs. R: What? You just don't want to vote for a guy named "Mitt;" I know. Actually, that's his *nickname* and be thankful for that...

I think the world is ready for a president named "Mitt" Romney, at last. Remember, it could be worse.

As long as the GOP doesn't put up an untrained monkey for the office, they've got my vote as the Dems' most reasonable -- reasonable, mind you -- pick is Obama.

If the GOP make the mistake of putting up an untrained monkey, though, that's going to make it harder on me.

Cheers!

[skh.pcola]

There's a recipe for the continued degradation of the Republican party into the Lite version of the Democratic party (see above).

[Mrs. R.]

If the GOP make the mistake of putting up an untrained monkey, though, that's going to make it harder on me.

Wrymouth, I like monkeys, trained or otherwise. I don't like Mitt Romney, and let's just say that's an understatement.

Somehow, a presidential candidate who equates rich guys campaigning for their dad in Iowa with not-so-rich guys getting their limbs blown off in Iraq doesn't strike me as someone who's playing with a full deck.

And presidential candidates who strap their dogs to the top of speeding station wagons for 12 hours at a time, despite the dog being so scared he develops diarrhea, don't strike me as particularly human.

So all in all, I'll vote for a sane human over Romney any day of the week. BTW, I don't consider Hillary to be particularly sane or human, either.

How bots like Hillary, Edwards and Romney attract any support at all is absolutely mind-boggling.

[John from WuzzaDem]

Yeah, uh huh, McCain as "the only real conservative in the race" is rich in irony. That is, if "irony" is a euphemism for "blind partisan delusion."

Dude, I don't know what you're reading - I haven't seen that assertion anywhere on this blog.

We've taken plenty of crap for going after Republicans on this blog, and we've taken quite a few shots at McCain.

[John from WuzzaDem]

Ron Paul is an imbecile. He is anti-Semitic, racist, ignorant, and a general caricature of reality.

Now you're talking!

WryMouth, if you spell Romney's (nick)name backwards, here's what you get:

"Ttim"

Sorry, that's just not right.

[Wry Mouth]

"presidential candidates who strap their dogs to the top of speeding station wagons for 12 hours at a time, despite the dog being so scared it has diarrhea, don't strike me as particularly human.."

But, Mrs. R. -- any of the leading Democratic candidates scare me so much that if I think about it, I get a worse case of diarrhea than an actual dog that's been strapped to the top of a station wagon for 12 hours.

Therein lies my dilemma.

Let me just add 2 things: (1) this is why I like primary season better than general election season -- I find it *far* more interesting to observe each party pick their standard-bearer from a diverse pack. A pack far more diverse than the "pick 2" we always get force-fed come general election. I rather wish all parties would get press, or each major party get to run 3 candidates each.

(2) Remember the Ronald Wilson Reagan = 666 craze? Maybe it's time we bring it back!

"Ay, Willard Mitt Romney" =

"Wily Littar Day Mormen!" If that's not reason enough, I don't know what is!

(and yes; you have to do the anagrams mentally, without resort to computer programs or pen and paper)

[skh.pcola]

John, I was referring to your comment #3 above. You said,

from what I can tell from a lot of blogs I've been reading he's the only real conservative in the race.

That may mean that you believe that a lot of bloggers think that McCain is the only real conservative in the race, or that you believe it also. I don't know. My point stands either way.

Look, seriously. I've been a loyal Republican all of my 25 years of voting. Democrats do not appeal to me in any sense, because they produce visceral feelings of animus within me whenever they start talking. I get those same sentiments whenever Romney speaks or whenever McCain blathers on about his StraightPanderExpress. McCain has a long and sordid record of actions that thoroughly disregard conservative principles. "Totally disregard?" No, but to a large-enough extent that he can't claim the mantle of "conservative," IMO.

[skh.pcola]

Eh..."comment #4," is more like it.

[Smashmaster]

That really wasn't a terribly fair, or accurate, parody of FT's campaign.

Was it a well run effort? Not really, but Fred wasn't anywhere near that inarticulate or unsure of himself. Every time I saw him on the tube, he was very articulate and you could tell he knew WTF he was talking about.

[John from WuzzaDem]

Dude, it wasn't so much a comment on his campaign as his speaking style.

Whenever I saw him in a situation where he was speaking extemporaneously, every third word was "uh" or "um". Fred! needs to attend a couple of Toastmasters meetings.

Just a peeve of mine, not a knock on him.

[Grumpy]

From Tompson to McCine? Ya your a con not a conservative. At least Romney has the business sense to not put us out of work like Carter did. For those of you to young to remember go back and see the misery index of that Liberal Night Mare. Ya, Clinton/Socialist, Obama/Socialist, McCaine/Socialist but he don't know it very dangerous. Hukabee/Socialist, knows it but don't care hide's behind religon just like Carter, I never met a terrorist I did'nt like. Sad to say Tompson is out but Romney is our countrys best hope if you look at the facts and not the bull. You all sooner or later have to realise NBC, ABC, CBS, CLINTON NEWS NETWORK (CNN) and the major city newspapers plus Sorous funded blogs will never tell you the truth. Sorry if I didn't spell that antiAmerican's name corecctly. God Bless America. Oh ya bring back our first amendment, thanks McCain/Finegold. and Lord keep our 2nd amendment free from the tyranny of the UN & those in our mist with out knowledge. And Lord Please help us keep our foundations based on your love & teachings that our founding fathers based our country on. Thank You Lord for keeping & guiding this nation so far.

[John from WuzzaDem]

Are you related to Spurwing Plover?