WuzzaDem

The Last Final WuzzaDem Post: An Episode of Mission Impossible in Which the Recording in the Opening Scene Was Made By Jim Phelps's Elderly Grandfather

"Good morning, Mr. Phelps."

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

"What, you can't say "good morning" to your own grandpa?"

 

And on that rather lame note, we're hanging up the "Closed" sign.

 

 

I hate to be picky, but do you have anything a little more...I don't know..modern?

 

 

That's a little better, but why is it crooked? And what's with the glare?

 

 

Oh, come on! That would have been a perfectly good sign, but you had to hang those stupid drapes - or whatever that is - in front of it and obscure the first and last letters.

 

 

Don't you think this one's kind of...commercial?

You know what - just forget I said anything, it's fine.

So, that really was the last post. Thanks from both of us, it's been fun, but now we must bid you ado adew adoo whatever.

UPDATE: I'm They're touched. Bravo, basil!

UPDATE II (from Mrs. R.): Thanks to all the commenters, regulars, lurkers, and fellow bloggers on the right for your support and participation in the (almost) three years of WuzzaDem's reign :-).

The experience has been a pleasure and we've learned a lot from all of you. Thanks again, and best wishes to all.

UPDATE III (from John): Thanks InstaPunk. And thanks to everyone for the kind comments and e-mails.

To answer few of the questions people have been asking, we haven't struck it rich; we're not in the poorhouse; I do like salsa; we are not perfecting our plan for world domination; OK, so that was picante sauce; no, we don't actually have a plan for world domination; look I don't care - it had tomatoes, onions, garlic and cilantro, and I put it on my corn chips, so just drop it already; OK, so if we don't have a plan for world domination then maybe I shouldn't have said we weren't perfecting it; I swear, if you bring up the damned salsa again I'm going to stab myself in the eye with an ice pick!

You know what, I'm done answering questions.

The Proud, the Puerile, and the Profane [Mrs. R.]

Today is a proud day for Americans, particularly those who hail from the Golden State.

Today is the day Showtime launches its new comedy series Californication. (Surely, you've seen the show's promotional billboards while driving your kids all over town, shopping for school supplies).

And, once again, the dinosaurs at the three major networks are eating Showtime's dust.

Get with it, guys. Dirty Sexy Money (the title of a show premiering on ABC this fall) couldn't even make grandma blush.

Let's see some decent indecent wordplay, the kind that delights 7th grade boys everywhere - even in places like Tex-ass, Mantana, Oregasm, and Nude Humpshire.

 

Hezbollah's Real Estate Buying Guide...[Mrs. R.]

How to make a killing in today's cash-strapped real estate market!

Disclaimer: In order to take full advantage of this amazing real estate opportunity, some lifestyle changes may be required. For maximum return on your dollar/pound, it is recommended that participants move to Lebanon, convert to Shi'a Islam, and become a member of Hezbollah's militant wing.

But once you get with the program, the keys to the kingdom are yours for the taking. All you have to do is start scooping up as much property in southern Lebanon as you possibly can - and the closer to the UN buffer zone, the better. For instance, properties along the Litani River's northern shores are hot, hot, hot!

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

An even bigger land grab is anticipated when UN Peacekeepers hightail it out of the region, which should be any time now as tensions between Israel and Syria (and between Israel and various terrorist organizations running Lebanon) continue to mount.

The best part? The hotter the property, the more distressed it becomes!

What to look for:

Properties owned by non-Muslims who fear for their lives because their neighborhoods have been overrun by Islamic militants hauling around rocket launchers in the back of pickup trucks.

Properties owned/controlled by the Lebanese government. All you have to do is stake a claim, and it's yours.

Properties that accommodate the range of rockets in your arsenal, i.e., if your rockets have a maximum range of 20 kilometers, make sure the properties you're interested in are within 20 kilometers of a populated region of Israel.

And don't be afraid to offer a bid way below market value. These property owners are MOTIVATED TO SELL; and if they're not, just raise a knife to their throat and make them an offer they can't refuse.

 

The Bourne Ultimatum Isn't Working [Mrs. R.]

 

Enough is enough, Mr. Bourne. It's been five years since you launched your unilateral war on covert ops and what have you accomplished?

Are you any safer now than you were in 2002?

Apparently not. You are, in fact, less safe - a lot less safe.

Your reputation as a disgruntled, superhuman killing-machine is legendary, making you a walking recruitment poster for government bad guys all over the world...

And they all want a piece of you.

Way to go, Mr. Bourne. Thanks to you, there are more government bad guys than ever.

And let's not forget about all the innocent Europeans who have been killed, maimed, and orphaned in your illegal war.

You could have kept a low profile after you were picked up by that fishing boat...

But N-O-O-O-O-O, you had to let everyone know that you were still alive and loaded for bear...

Squandering all the sympathy and goodwill you received from people around the world after Treadstone was exposed.

For the record, this is NOT the way to win hearts and minds of those who would do you harm.

Listen to Cindy Sheehan, Mr. Bourne. Brute strength is not the answer.

The ultimatum isn't working. Pack up your duffle bag and redeploy. There's only one way to stop Blackbriar...

 

Darwinists Get Away with Murder...[Mrs. R.]

The murder of facts and/or the honest representation of facts.

The excerpt below is from a Book TV interview on C-SPAN on Sunday (08.05.07) with Pulitzer-prize winning author, Harvard professor, and humanist extraordinaire, E.O. Wilson.

This program was three hours long, so only one example of Dr. Wilson's prideful mindset and devotion to Darwin is offered.

In this portion of the video/transcript, Dr. Wilson explains how an imaginary brain switch/mechanism/thingy, when "turned off", discourages incest amongst Homo sapiens and apes.

Yet he speaks of this switch with such faith and conviction you'd think it was an inarguably real bilogical entity; and, I suspect, that's exactly what he intended viewers to believe.

The clip transcribed below starts at 1:45:41 on the C-SPAN video of this interview. Hit the "Watch Now" button, click on the "RealPlayer" logo on the small viewing screen (bottom right) to select "Play in RealPlayer", then go to "Play" on tool bar, select "Seek to" (or hit Ctrl+E), and enter the hour, minutes and seconds to access this clip. (Or, if you really want to hear a giant load, play the entire video).

 

E.O. Wilson: ...That's the substance of modern biology. Perhaps a somewhat better one would be...to move up, if you will, to a higher level...uh, to the incest taboo, which is one of my favorites. Why do we avoid incest? Well, now note there's a simple mechanism in the brain. It's a switch that's turned off. It's called the Westermarck effect. It is the following: If one or both of two people are kept together in close domestic proximity - using the same potty is one way of putting it - during the first 18 months of life of either one, then they are incapable of forming an adult sexual bond later. They may experiment sexually, but they do not, they can not, have what you call sexual love, and that's been borne out now very, by very thorough studies. And then that leads us, that takes us to the level of the brain and the mechanisms of the brain. Uh, and then that takes us to the next level, which is why is that mechanism there? I mean, probably, we assume (??? barely audible), that it was evolved, that it has adaptive value - and there we have a very solid answer, and that is that close relatives, if they have children - the people who are in close domestic proximity - if they have children later, uh, then they have a high probability of bringing together lethal or subvital genes, you know, the genes that cause genetic deformity, or genetic, uh, disability or death of which we, each individual, has a substantial number in single dose. If you have children with close relatives, you have a high probability of bringing together a double dose, and thus having a child who dies or has a defect. So, this is so destructive in terms of, uh, reproduction and reproduction of the genes in particular that it's natural through... through the process of natural selection that, uh, we would develop a, uh, that Westermarck effect - which, incidentally, is distinctive to the primates as a way of avoiding incest. Humans and all the monkeys and apes that have been studied in this respect have the Westermarck effect. Other creatures have other ways that are built into their brain of avoiding it. Host: Is there a moral aspect then? Wilson: What? Host: Is there a moral aspect to it? Wilson: Sure. I think we have an example here of, of, uh, innate moral behavior.

 

Questions the Host and Callers Failed to Ask Because Scientific Dogma Is So Sacrosanct Only The Tragically Unhip Would Dare Challenge Anything Uttered by One of Its High Priests... There are so many questions (not to mention gaping holes and vague assertions), but here are a few... Where, exactly, is this switch located in the brain, anyway? Why is it called the Westermarck effect? Shouldn't it be called the Westermarck switch? How was it isolated and identified? How is the switch turned on and off? Is behavior of the individual the only way you can tell if the switch is engaged or disengaged, or are there other ways to determine which way it's flipped? Does the switch/mechanism look like normal brain matter, or does it have any distinguishing characteristics? How big/tiny is it? Does it act independently, or in conjunction with other brain switches? How, exactly, does it work? Is the process similar to the way Lux Super Rich shampoo zeroes in on and repairs Penelope Cruz's dry, damaged ends? What? The Westermarck effect is not an actual dealiebob? The Westermarck effect: Edvard Westermarck (1862-1939) Finnish social anthropologist, philosopher, and sociologist famous for his work on exogamy and other marriage traditions and taboos. Lent his name to "the Westermarck effect", his observation that, in most cases, infants raised together would not choose to become mates in adulthood, even when they were not blood relatives. So, this Westermarck effect isn't a switch located in the brain, but merely the observation of a gay man researching marriage traditions and taboos in the 19th century? Hmm. I see. But if infants who are raised together and who are not blood relatives instinctively abstain from incest, what does that have to do with natural selection? And what about same-sex incest that doesn't involve the risk of pregnancy and, therefore, inbreeding of fatal or subvital genes? Or, do you foresee the switch evolving to accommodate these seemingly innocuous (by your standards) variations somewhere down the road? What about the concept that familiarity breeds contempt? That could explain why the girl next door may be more sexually appealing to a teenage boy than the sister he's been sharing a "potty" with for as long as he can remember. BTW, any chance that religious values have had any "effect" on the incest taboo over the course of human history? What's that? All the primates you enslaved and tormented in these studies were secular humanists? All-righty then...