WuzzaDem

"¡El Queso Es Grande en Venezuela!" [Mrs. R.]

"Venezuelan TV station shutdown sparks criticism"

My, have things changed since 1989.

Back then, a video like the one excerpted above would have been all over the nightly "news", and the images therein plastered across the front page of every "newspaper" in the country.

And, the government closure of a primary outlet for free speech in a "democratic" country, mandated by its "duly-elected" president, would have inspired less ambiguous "headlines" than "Venezuela TV Station Shuts Down". (All by itself? Was it having financial problems, or something)?

And, no self-respecting "journalist" would have characterized the civil uprising that has ensued in Venezuela as "criticism".

So, who do we "thank" for "advancing" this "progressive", "revolutionary" style of "reporting" - and, where does the line form?

I'm sure many of us would love to "shake" the "hands" of those responsible, and tell them how much we "admire" their "courage".

 

General Glenn Greenwald Supports The Troops Where It Really Counts

OK, first I'd like to thank you for joining me this morning, and let me say that as your colonel...

 

 

Actually, you're a general...sir.

 

 

Whatever. I'm not as concerned with formalities as I am with getting this illegal occupation on the right track.

 

 

Excuse me, sir, but don't you mean this war?

 

 

Hey, you say tomato, yada yada yada. Any-hoo, let's talk about supplies.

 

 

Well, sir, if you'll look at your handout you'll see that we're efficiently replenishing ammo, armor, vehicles...

 

 

What about croutons?

 

 

Croutons??

 

 

Croutons! You know, for salad. I love the smell of croutons in the morning.

 

 

I'm, uh, I'm not sure we have any croutons coming in any time soon.

 

 

Then what the hell are we putting on our salads?

 

 

Well, I, uh...

 

 

Never mind, I guess we can get by with chow mein noodles for now, but let's get some croutons here, stat!

 

 

Right. Um, as I was saying, our supply lines are...

 

 

How are we doing on Cool Whip?

 

 

Did you say Cool Whip?

 

 

I don't know if you've noticed, but it's kind of hot outside, and there's nothing like a little Berry Bliss Cake to take the edge off the heat.

 

 

Berry...Bliss Cake?

 

 

I know, I know, it sounds complicated, but it's really easy to make - you just take three-quarters of a cup of cold milk, mix it with your favorite flavor of...

 

 

Sir, I'm not sure that discussing dessert recipes is the best use of our time right now.

 

 

I get you - a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips, eh?.

 

 

That's not what I meant - it's just that our dessert choices may be limited for a few weeks.

 

 

Desserts? Limited?

 

 

Yes sir.

 

 

Wow. War really is hell, isn't it?

Need explanation? Try Uninformed Comment.

 

Memorial Day: Great Expectations Selflessly Fulfilled and Remembered [Mrs. R.]

In the line of duty is phrasing typically reserved for those who, in the course of career or endeavor, are expected to confront grave dangers, shoulder tremendous responsibilities, and make the ultimate sacrifice when circumstances require no less.

In the line of duty certainly doesn't apply to my job. What I do for a living doesn't even merit a slogan or phrase; not even the show must go on. All I'm expected to do is arrive at work on time, process various piles of paperwork, be polite to coworkers and clients, and collect my paycheck.

Not once in the course of my job have I ever been asked (or expected) to:

• Stop an armed robbery in progress;
• Separate a bunch of gang members from their attitudes and automatic weapons;
• Scale stairwells clogged with smoke and debris to rescue people trapped in a burning skyscraper;
• Save celebrity homes in Malibu that are engulfed by flames and tinder;
• Pluck a stranded hiker off a steep mountainside;
• Weave a speeding ambulance (or other emergency rescue vehicle) in and out of traffic;
• Infiltrate an al-Qaeda cell;
• Extract intelligence on future terrorist attacks from guys like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed;
• Or, wrest control of an Iraqi town from the thugs and terrorists who nest therein, amongst women and children.

How amazing is it that there are men and women willing to take such risks, shoulder such responsibilities, and make such sacrifices?

And how fortunate are we that such extraordinary people live in our communities, our country?

I can't think of a greater blessing.

 

Dear Asswipes at Fox

Just a quick note to say...what the hell is wrong with you???

I TiVo'd the American Idol finale last night.

Is that sinking in?? I'll say it again: I TIVO'd the finale.

YOU WENT OVER!!! I MISSED END OF THE FREAKING SHOW!

And you didn't just go over by a few seconds, it had to be at least 5-10 minutes over, because you hadn't even gotten to the fifteen-minute-drumroll-fabricated-drama part of the show.

Again, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Did you really need to go over? Why? So Bette Midler could perform?? Who gives a rat's ass about Bette Midler??

You people are f&#*ing morons.

That's it - you're dead to me.

UPDATE: Althouse is pissed, too.

 

Is That Guy on a Diet, or Is He Just Trying to Empty the Restaurant? [Mrs. R.]

A new diet pill that can help dieters increase the amount of weight loss by 50%? And the only real downside for dieters is that the drug could, on occasion, cause "severe and unexpected bowel movements"? (One of our cats has this natural ability). But according to Steven Burton, head of GlaxoSmithKline's weight-loss division, a mere half of users ever suffer this side-effect. Mr. Burton speaks of his own drug-induced pants-crapping experience: "I have used the prescription version of product for three years and I've had only one surprise," says Burton. I'll bet anyone in "the zone" was surprised, too. (Shouldn't the general public be made aware of this side effect, as well)? So, how does this new miracle drug work, anyway? It works by inhibiting the body's lipase enzymes, which break down fat in the digestive system. The drug increases the amount of fat that passes through the body unabsorbed, but unless users combine it with a strict low-calorie diet... Yeah, we know. Mr. Burton went on to suggest that it would be very foolish for dieters using the drug to eat any fatty foods. Hmmm....A diet drug with a built-in incentive for dieters to stay away from fatty, high-calorie foods. I think I smell pure genius.

 

The Effects of Climate Change [Mrs. R.]

Leave it to those sickos at the Cannes Film Festival to showcase a movie in which:

"The men heard in the film are remarkably honest about their motivations (to seduce captive horses). One of them argues 'mammal to mammal' love should not be seen as wrong." And... "Even the cast ended up feeling compassion for the men depicted in Zoo."

What's that?

This film premiered in Utah months ago?!

The state of Utah?!

And the film is about a guy who lived in Washington?!

The state of Washington?!

And what is depicted in this film actually took place on a human-animal sex ranch in Washington?!

And there's nothing illegal about human-animal sex in the state of Washington?!

Not even human-animal-sex-for-money in which animals are systematically enslaved for such purposes?!

Excuse me for a moment.

Hey, hon...

If you and I really put our minds to it, think there's anything we can do to super-size our carbon footprint?

 

Some Michael Moores Are So Stupid [Mrs. R.]

Michael Moore in Cannes, attending the screening of his new docu-dramedy "SiCKO".

Making America Better by Ripping It to Shreds: In "SiCKO" (Moore) turns his attention to health, asking why 50 million Americans, 9 million of them children, live without cover, while those that are insured are often driven to poverty by spiraling costs or wrongly refused treatment at all. But the movie, which has taken Cannes by storm, goes further by portraying a country where the government is more interested in personal profit and protecting big business than caring for its citizens, many of whom cannot afford health insurance. "Why do we behave the way we behave? What has become of us? Where is our soul?"

Granted, the US healthcare system is in a sad and sorry state, but affordable healthcare wasn't a casualty of big business. Affordable healthcare was a casualty America's post-modern labor unions and their shortsighted demands that employers start paying for employees' medical expenses. And, except for the nonstop rise in healthcare costs, it's been all downhill ever since. Anyway, there are other facts to consider in this matter; facts that Mr. Moore is either too stupid or too full of crap to acknowledge. FACT: Countries like Canada, France, and the Netherlands provide their citizens with free/practically-free healthcare. FACT: Countries like Canada, France, and the Netherlands can afford to provide their citizens with free/practically-free healthcare because their governments are awash in tax dollars. FACT: Countries like Canada, France, and the Netherlands aren't burdened with the enormous responsibility of defending the free world (without a lot of help) and, therefore, do not have to maintain the requisite military force and weapon systems. FACT: Maintaining the military force and weapon systems needed to defend the free world is really, really, really, really, really, really expensive. FACT: Countries like Canada, France, and the Netherlands could help defray some of the costs associated with defending the free world, i.e., offer the defender of the free world a few bucks every now and then, but, well, you know... FACT: Maybe the defender of the free world could afford to provide superduper, free healthcare for every single one of its citizens if another free country, or union of free countries, would/could take the helm for a while without screwing everything up. FACT: France and the Netherlands couldn't defend themselves against the Nazis; and, Canada was spared such indignities because Hitler never made it across the Atlantic (thanks to you-know-who). FACT: In this regard, things haven't changed much since World War II - except that now, Japan and Germany are part of the free world. FACT: The peace, freedom and civility enjoyed in countries like Canada, France, and the Netherlands exists, in large part, because the defender of the free world has got their backs. FACT: Enemies of the free world, with designs on world dominance, are not deterred by free/practically-free government healthcare systems.

 

Immigration, Then and Now: The More Things Change, the More They Don't Stay the Same [Mrs. R.]

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free...

The Sentiments of Many Americans, 1903: For we will welcome them, enrich their lives, and instill them with an overwhelming sense of pride in, and appreciation for, this great land in which we live.

The Sentiments of Many Americans, 2007: For we will welcome them, employ them in low-paying jobs no one else wants, and instill them with an overwhelming sense of shame in, and contempt for, this piece-of-sh*t country that disgraces itself, and all those who live here, on a daily basis.

 

Why So Stuck-Up, Googlers?

Cranky Neocon linked to Google's Image Labeler, which is pretty cool. Here's how Google describes it:

Over a two-minute period, you and your partner will be shown the same set of images and asked to provide as many labels as possible to describe each image you see.

The goal of course is to improve image tags and search results, so I thought I'd try it out. It was OK, but the people they paired me with were really thin-skinned and, I don't know - distant. In fact, of the ten people I was paired with, not one would even answer me when I tried to engage in casual conversation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh well, I give up.

 

Hitchens on Mortality: When You're Dead, You're Dead (But Not Entirely Useless) [Mrs. R.]

 

How would you like to help me sell some books?

 

 

...

 

"Leave Us Alone, Israel!...Wait!...Get Your Ass Back Here!" [Mrs. R.]

 

From the Guardian (re Hamas' rocket attacks on Israel on Tuesday): Hamas' decision to rocket Sderot this week appeared to be an attempt to draw Israel into Palestinian infighting as a way of uniting warring factions. Dozens of Palestinians have died since Sunday in a surge of violence between the rival Hamas and Fatah movements.

Then, if Olmert does respond, Friends of Hamas in the mainstream press can once again portray the Palestinians as hapless victims of Israeli aggression.

UPDATE: Looks like the plan is working...

IDF bombs Hamas offices in retaliation for Qassam barrage

Hamas and Fatah agree to fourth ceasefire

UPDATE (5/17): New York Times: "Israel Strikes at Hamas Compound"

JERUSALEM, May 17 — Israel continued its attacks on Hamas today with three airstrikes, killing at least three Palestinians, while five more Palestinians died in factional fighting despite a new cease-fire between the Hamas and Fatah factions... Hamas vowed revenge on Israel. Abu Obeida, a spokesman for the group’s military wing, said, “The Zionist enemy is launching an open war against Hamas. So reprisal options are open, including self-sacrifice operations.” His suggestion of a renewal of suicide bombings by Hamas, which has not carried any out inside Israel since 2004, was not confirmed by other Hamas officials. He added that rocket attacks would continue against “the Zionist settlers.” Sderot is inside Israel proper, but Hamas regards any Israeli as an illegal settler on land that Allah supposedly gave to the Muslims in perpetuity. Khaled Meshal, the exiled director of the Hamas political bureau, told Hamas television that the Israeli air strikes created “an historic opportunity” to reunite Palestinian factions against Israel.

 

Ron Paul's Supporters React To The News Of Ward Churchill's Suspension

Ward Churchill: The Real Deal

"Good for him! OK, so maybe the 'little Eichmanns' thing was a tad harsh, but his 'blowback' comment? Spot on."

 

After Standing Up For The Constitution, Ron Paul (AKA "The Real Deal") Gets His Eyes Checked

UPDATE: This doesn't look good for Ron Ward Paul Churchill.

 

Why I'd Never Vote For Ron Paul

This guy, who is attempting to flash his nuts over the InterTubes, says Ron Paul is his favorite politician:

Disgusting.

Sorry, but I can't roll with the nut-flashers. Oh, and Paul thinks 9/11 was our fault. Talk about nuts.

UPDATE:Overlooked: Ron Paul links 9-11 attacks to Iraq:

"Have you ever read about the reason they attacked us? They attacked us because we've been over there...We've been bombing Iraq for 10 years. I'm suggesting that we listen to the people who attacked us."

Rep. Paul is implying, of course, that we should have just let Saddam invade Kuwait. That wouldn't have presented any subsequent problems in the region. Not at all.

 

From Sea to Shining Sea [Mrs. R.]

 

Q: How many acres of corn would the United States need to grow and regrow in order to: satisfy all of our transportation needs; produce enough polylactic acid resins to replace the petrochemical feedstocks currently used in the manufacturing of plastics, synthetic rubbers, synthetic fibers, pharmaceuticals, and detergents; and, still be able to produce enough food crops to feed a hungry world? A: Judging from the way investors and other would-be corn barons are snatching up cornland, a few gazillion more than are currently available.

 

Lessons to Be Learned [Mrs. R.]

An excellent four-part series, entitled "How Britain Encouraged Radicalism And Terrorism". written by Adrian Morgan, appearing at Family Security Matters. (May 7 - May 10).

A very comprehensive look at the spread of radical Islam in Britain, and how the touchy-feely approach to governance left Brits vulnerable to the designs of men like Egyptian Abu Hamza.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

From Part Four:

In the late 1990s, Hamza tried to buy a 54-room building in East Sussex to use as a jihad school. When this failed, he turned his attention to locations in Wales and Lancashire before selecting Dog Cry Ranch in Bly, Oregon, which he hoped to use as a terror training camp.

It appears this area of Oregon has terrain similar to Afghanistan (scroll down to the KELLI ARENA, CNN JUSTICE CORRESPONDENT segment). I didn't know that. Must have missed the nonstop, 24-hour cable coverage of this revelation.

Conclusion to the series:

The fate that Britain has brought upon itself has so far been avoided by the United States. But the voices of the left are clamoring to be heard. Should a Nancy Pelosi-style strategy (or lack of one) be followed, the US could precisely reproduce Britain’s poor template for tackling Islamic radicalism. Innocent Muslims suffer as much as anyone else from Islamist extremists, yet their voices are never heard. Pressure groups such as the MCB and CAIR do not represent ordinary, law-abiding Muslim citizens. These bodies have a specific agenda which, though not outwardly supporting terrorism, shares exactly the same ultimate goals as those of the most bloodthirsty Islamist. As Omar Ahmed, co-founder of CAIR, said: "Islam isn’t in America to be equal to any other faiths, but to become dominant. The Koran, the Muslim book of scripture, should be the highest authority in America, and Islam the only accepted religion on Earth."

People who try to change a democracy not by the ballot, but by the backdoor, are the ones whose voices should never be legitimized by government patronage.

One of the videos referenced in the series (from the BBC's Richard Watson):

Who knows? With the changes of leadership in France and Britain, maybe our alliances will shift accordingly...at least for a while.

Talk About Sloppy Journalism

Take a look at the screen cap I just grabbed from this story in today's Wall Street Journal Online.

 

Now, I know journalism is fast-paced, I understand everyone is under deadline, that's it's very competitive, but doesn't anyone even proofread any more?

I've been in the same house for nearly ten years now, and they just built the Wal-Mart no more than five or six years ago. OK, let's say my memory is off by a couple of years, and maybe it's been there eight years. Then they're only off by twenty years.

I realize this was probably an innocent mistake, but there's really no excuse for it. Shame on you, WSJ Online.

UPDATE: According to some rather rude readers' e-mails, there's more than one Wal-Mart (how was I supposed to know that?), so I guess the story might be correct after all. Sorry, but it's not like I have a lot of time to write these posts, you know. You nitpickers need to get a life.

 

Today's Beverage Commentary

Diet Coke: It might not taste good, but you have to admit, it doesn't tastes very good.

UPDATE: In the comments, AnonymousDrivel is (understandably) in awe of my knack for marketing. I don't like to toot my own horn, but it's something that just comes to me naturally.

But - If those suits at Coca-Cola think that I'm going to sell out (for less than six figures), they've got another thing (I'm negotiable) coming, because I have my (seriously, make an offer) integrity to think of, and at the end of the (I'm willing to discuss some kind of performance-based bonus structure) day, all a man has is his (stock options would work, too) integrity. Without (sorry about the "suits" crack, by the way) it, he's (I'm sure they're very nice suits) nothing. I'm not about the (hey, that gives me an idea - what if you paid me in suits? I know, I know, it sounds crazy, but you guys probably go clothes shopping every few week, right? Just have the people at C&R Clothier, or wherever you shop, throw in an extra 40 regular and we're good) big paycheck, but at least I can sleep at (call me, seriously) night.

George Tenet Down Through History (Part I)

"I wonder if this has anything to do with that hydrogen."

UPDATE: You know, someone could make a living selling fire extinguishers here.

 

Barack Obama Sticks To The Facts At The Local Starbucks

Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?

 

 

I'm finally here - I made it, people!

 

 

Uh, why are you talking into a microphone?

 

 

You know, I've been waiting a long, long time to get to this counter, but I'm not discouraged!

 

 

Who are you talking to?

 

 

I don't know how many of you know this, but I've been in this line for thirty-six hours now. Thirty-six hours!

 

 

No you haven't! I saw you walk in five minutes ago.

 

 

You know, there are some people out there who want to get bogged down in meaningless details. They want to count how many minutes someone's been in a line - as if that means anything!

 

 

Hey, you brought it up, I was just...

 

 

But we're not going to let them define the debate, my friends.

 

 

What debate?

 

 

No, we're not, because when you take $474.00 out of your hard-earned pay for a Caramel Macchiato, you have a right to expect...

 

 

That's not what we charge for a Caramel...

 

 

You have a right to expect that you won't get a cup of flavored coffee so hot that it literally burns a path straight to the core of the Earth.

 

 

Now you're being ridiculous!

 

 

All right, maybe I got that wrong. You know, there are going to be times when I get tired. There are going to be times when I get weary. There are going to be times when I make mistakes.

 

 

All right, I guess that's understandable.

 

 

Especially at times like this, when I've been up for fifty-three days straight.

 

 

That's it! Either order or get out of line.

 

 

OK, give me a grande Caramel Macchiato, and make sure it's not so hot that it burns through the blacktop, like last time.

 

 

You know that never happened.

 

 

Maybe it did, maybe it didn't - I can't tell you what happened after it burned through the floorboard of my car.

 

 

Never happened.

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

OK, I was holding it between my legs and kinda burned my nuts.

 

 

I'll give you an extra cup. That'll be $4.95, please.

 

 

Here's a one-hundred dollar bill, my friend - I want you to keep the change.

 

 

This is a five.

 

 

Good night, everyone!

 

 

...

 

 

That guy's one of the most annoying people in the world. No exaggeration.

Oy.

 

Starbucks: Keepin' It Real

Errrr...

Michelle Incanno was an admitted Starbucks addict...That was until she got an unexpected jolt last week from her coffee cup.

Printed on the cup was: "Why in moments of crisis do we ask God for strength and help? As cognitive beings, why would we ask something that may well be a figment of our imaginations for guidance? Why not search inside ourselves for the power to overcome? After all, we are strong enough to cause most of the catastrophes we need to endure."

 

 

 

"This it total bullsh*t!"

 

 

 

 

"My bad."

 

 

"Now get me another triple venti non-fat latte, bitch."

Thanks to Dan Collins, who snapped the photo of the Zawahirinator on while he was on his last coffee run.

 

Repainting History [Mrs. R.]

 

...

 

 

What are you lookin' at?

 

 

Sorry. I couldn't help but notice what you're doing to this painting...Mind if I ask why?

And Now, One Of Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People In The World

 

Not him, you moron! Seriously, this guy's the Commander-in-Chief of the most powerful nation on the planet - you call that influence?

No, here's who I was talking about:

 

Yes. The emaciated actress.

I guess she can...I don't know, maybe she can do one of those "before and after" photo shoots showing what can happen to you if you abuse drugs. And, um...I guess that's why she's...influential? Who knows what those morons who came up with this list were thinking. Maybe they're on the crack.

 

For This, I'd Travel To See John Edwards In Person

Hmmmm...

Shoppers entering a Wal-Mart Supercenter in Alabama got a reminder not to try anything funny: Two shoplifters stood outside with signs reading "I am a thief, I stole from Wal-Mart."

Attalla City Judge Kenneth Robertson Jr. ordered the two people to wear the signs for four hours each during two successive Saturdays.

Hey, maybe that judge would...Nah - it'd never happen.

 

Heh.

Bob Dylan's Scariest Hits [Mrs. R.]

Kindergarten kids in ritzy L.A. suburb Calabasas have been coming home to their parents and talking about the "weird man" who keeps coming to their class to sing "scary" songs on his guitar.

You walk into the room With your crayon in your hand...

John Murtha Is Mad As Hell And He's Not...Wait A Second, What Was He Thinking Again?

You know, they brought this Petraeus back - just a cheap political move.

 

 

He doesn't talk to any of us. He's only interested in talking to the media.

 

 

I don't know if you talk to the guy, but if you do, you tell him I'm plenty pissed off.

 

 

 

Yyyyeaah...I'll be sure to give him the message. You know, if I see him.

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

I'm a veteran!

Seriously, d0od - WTF?

Rep. John Murtha (D-Pa.) this week criticized Gen. David Petraeus for not meeting with members of Congress during a recent visit to Washington, D.C., to report on the status of operations in Iraq, but not only did the commander of Multinational Force - Iraq meet with hundreds of lawmakers, he personally briefed Murtha himself.

H/T: Bryan

UPDATE: Maybe it's the (non?)injuries (Thanks to AnonymousDrivel)