Technical Notes

Sorry the site's been loading so slow lately. I moved Blogads to the right sidebar thinking that would help, but according to Dan Collins, WuzzaDem's Chief Technical Officer, the blog was "Acting all goofy and stuff" - I don't understand all that technical terminology, but I took it to mean something was wrong, so I took Blogads off the site for now, I'm waiting to hear from them.

Speaking of high-tech type stuff, I might not know much about this whole "blogging" thing, but I've discovered I'm somewhat of a "hacker", as the kids say.

I use my laptop a lot. In fact, I spend the majority of my day with my eyes fixed on this:

 

 

Oh yeah, that's a Dell Latitude D620. And my ear is usually stuck to this thing:

 

 

Uh-huh. Plantronics CS50 wireless headset. Aaaaaand my ass is generally planted in one of these:

 

 

That's right, I ride an Aeron. And not with the funky "lumbar support" bar, either - Posture Fit rules.

What was I talking about? Oh, right - the laptop. So, during the day, I just throw it onto a port replicator...

 

 

...OK, we don't need to show the port replicator. I'm sure everyone's seen them before. Anyway, I use the port replicator so that I don't have to go through the hassle of hooking up all the peripherals - you know, printer...

 

 

All right, knock it off. We've all seen printers. You don't need to throw up a visual every time...

 

 

STOP IT! That's disgusting!

 

 

That's it, you're fired!

 

 

Yeah, same to you, now get your stuff and get out.

Sorry about that. Now I forgot what I was talking about.

 

 

Oh, right - the laptop. Hey, what are you doing here? I thought I fired you.

 

 

OK, I guess I can give you another shot.

 

 

You're welcome.

 

 

I said, you're welcome. So, like I was saying...

 

 

All right! I said, you're welcome, now let's just get back to work, OK? So, like I was saying, I use a port replicator during the day, but at night I just put the laptop...on my lap. The battery heats up, and after a couple of hours it gets so hot it starts to burn my leg. In fact, here's what my leg looks like after using the laptop for two hours.

 

 

Oh, come on! That's not my leg.

 

Neither is...you know what, just forget the leg. Anyway, I know what you techies are thinking:

"He should just get another fan."

"I'd replace the oscillator."

"Is that a zit on my zit?"

Well, I can barely find the the on/off switch, so I came up with a much simpler fix, and by accident, no less.

After I broke my leg I had to buy a couple of these Thermipaq clay-based hot/cold packs:

 

Yeah, those. One night, I just happened to throw one of them on top of the pillow I rest the laptop on when I'm sitting in my favorite chair at night, and after a couple of hours I noticed I couldn't feel the heat from the laptop. The hot pack was absorbing it.

Problem solved. And I didn't have to replace the oscillator. I'm sure those things aren't cheap.

And there's another benefit: I don't have to throw my hot pack in the microwave anymore.

 

 

We don't need to...never mind.

Anyway, watch your backs, nerds. And stay away from astringents, because they tend to exacerbate conditions caused by clogged pores.

 

Comments

[Dan Collins]

John--
The thingamajig is "loading" onto my "screen" a lot faster when I come to your "site", so I think whatever was "messing stuff up" "went away." Thnx!

[Gordon]

Glad to see the leg is healing.

So now that Dan has juiced up your site, do you think posts will appear more frequently? I'm sure they're just backlogged in the Internet Tubes.

[sue]

Hey Wuzza- while you're on this technical jag, how about updating the Gitmo 'Gator? My daughter (she's six) LOVES that thing!

[John from WuzzaDem]

Dan - I keep telling you I don't understand tech-speak.

Gordon - You can see my leg? I gotta have Dan check the firewall thingy.

Sue - That would be my wife's department. I haven't got the slightest idea how to update that thing.

[Jeff H]

You can afford a CTO? Man, what a sweet capitalist pig gig you've got goin' on here, dude.

[Gordon]

You mean that pic of the tight, skinless tush isn't you?

[Jeff H]

Oh, and did whatever Dan do fix the quality of posts here?

Just askin'...

[BubbaB]

WHAT!?!? Astringents make zits WORSE!?!? No WONDER I was a geek in high school.

No, wait. I was a geek in high school because I was a geek. My zits didn't really cause things to go either way. I was a geek with zits.

Now I'm just a geek with clear skin.

[Rex]

you've been watching too much Star Trek

[Steve O]

Hey! I saw that barfing guy picture when I was in college in the 1980's! I've been looking for it again! for some reason...

[John from WuzzaDem]

I'm honored to have played a part in reuniting the two of you.

Here's a full-size version.

[rudytbone]

That is my laptop. My port replicator. My chair. My headset.

HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY OFFICE.

My god...I have a stalker

[John from WuzzaDem]

That is my laptop. My port replicator. My chair. My headset.

HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY OFFICE.

My god...I have a stalker

Posted by: rudytbone | Apr 24, 2007 5:32:59 PM

Are you sure you're not me?