Don Imus and Elizabeth Edwards Say All The Right Things At The Local Starbucks

Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?

 

 

Yeah, you got any Irish coffee?

 

 

I'm sorry, I'm afraid we...

 

 

You're Irish, aren't you?

 

 

No, I'm not. As I was saying...

 

 

Well, you look like you've been hittin' the sauce, so I just assumed you were a mick.

 

 

I see. Well, I'm not, so...

 

 

So, what are you, a spic?

 

 

No sir...

 

 

A WOP?

 

 

No

 

 

A gook?

 

 

No, and I wish you'd...

 

 

Well, you're sure as hell not dark enough to be a...

 

 

Sir, PLEASE! I'm really not comfortable with this conversation. I think you're being a little insensitive.

 

 

Insensitive?? Do you know how much money I give to charity?

 

 

No, I don't, and to tell you the truth, right now I don't care, so...

 

 

Oh, I get it - a Jew. Shoulda known.

 

 

I'm going to have to ask you to...

 

 

Cheap cheap cheap!

 

 

THAT'S IT! I'm going to have to ask you to leave this gourmet coffee establishment.

 

 

Coffee?? I thought this was a bar. See you around, Cheapy McSpic.

 

 

Sigh. Can I help you, ma'am?

 

 

What, you can't bother to put on a tie?

 

 

This is my uniform, ma'am.

 

 

Well, The Senator and I support the troops, but you look like a common servant.

 

 

Serving people is part of my job.

 

 

Well, if you're happy in a dead-end job, that's your business.

 

 

What's that supposed to mean?

 

 

That's nice. Listen, I want to lodge a complaint.

 

 

Sure, what's the problem?

 

 

I've been trying to get to this counter for about five minutes, but there were six or eight very rude people who refused to move out of my way.

 

 

That was the line.

 

 

I don't understand.

 

 

The line...those people got here before you, so they...

 

 

Apology accepted, just make sure it doesn't happen again.

 

 

I wasn't apologiz...

 

 

Are you going to take my order or not?

 

 

Sure - what would you like?

 

 

What's the most luxurious and expensive coffee on your menu? The rarest jewel in your coffee crown, so to speak.

 

 

The rarest jewel? I don't know, I guess that would be our Caramel Macchiato.

 

 

That sounds divine. Please prepare one for me and one for The Senator.

 

 

Um...OK.

 

 

Can't you at least throw some linen tablecloths on these tables? This place looks like one of those fast food establishments you see on television.

 

 

I'll see what I can do. Here you go, two Caramel Macchiatos, that'll be...

 

 

Paper cups? The Senator and I DO NOT drink from paper cups!

 

 

I should have gone to the bar with that old guy.

Mmmmm... Caramel.

 

Comments

[Ledger1]

Inus needs an Irish coffee to cure is cure his chronic dysphoria.

Elizabeth Edwards will probably burn up on re-entry once her money runs dry.

[Redhand]

Insensitive?? Do you know how much money I give to charity?

Fabulous!!

[Gordon]

Who knew the other America was just across the street and inhabited by a Rethuglican, no less.

[Amador]

Gordon, what are you talking about ?
Your statement has been taken out of context.

[Skul]

That's it, I'm going to the bar with those other two guys.

[Jeff H]

Ledger1: "Inus..."

You were only off by one letter.

Think "A".