WuzzaDem

Diane Feinstein Is All Business At the Local Starbucks

Welcome to Starbucks, can I help you?

 

 

Yeah, give me a triple venti no-foam latte with room, and step on it - I've got government business to attend to.

 

 

OK, we're really busy this morning, but we can have that for you in about five minutes.

 

 

Five minutes?? Look I don't have five minutes - I'm sure these other people wouldn't mind if you took care of me first.

 

 

I'm afraid I can't do that...

 

 

I need to get to my office so I can draft a resignation letter!

 

 

I'm sorry, I can't...

 

 

What if I told you I could get you a $12 million medical supplies contract?

 

 

That wouldn't help.

 

 

We're talking no-bid contract, here.

 

 

We don't even have medical supplies here.

 

 

Look, it wouldn't be hard to move my cup to the front - just pull it out...

 

 

Oh my God, she said "Pull it"! You heard her, there's your evidence!

 

 

Ma'am, I've already asked you to leave several times this morning.

 

 

Two words, people: Instant coffee!

 

 

I'm trying to be nice, ma'am.

 

 

Google it!

 

 

I will call the police.

 

 

Ah, that's better. Nutrients rushing to my brain...serotonin...

 

 

GET OUT!

 

 

Man, is she annoying.

 

 

All right, I've spoken to everyone in line and they've all agreed to let me cut in front of them.

 

 

Did you offer all of those people no-bid contracts?

 

 

Of course not.

 

 

Good, I was afraid...

 

 

A couple of them aren't incorporated, so I had to give them high-paying jobs at one of my husband's companies.

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

I'm definitely using a sick day tomorrow.

GOOGLE IT!

 

Somebody's Gotta Say It

Neal Boortz is a real a**hole:

 

THE PET FOOD SCARE
"Why all the fuss? Am I not correct in that all of the pet fatalities, save one, were to cats?"

Wow, not only is Boortz an asshole, he's a macho dick who thinks it's funny that cats are dying.

Wait - maybe I'm being hasty. Maybe Neal Boortz is just trying to be controversial. Or, maybe he's challenging the status quo by employing previously taboo...nah, he's just an asshole.

Hey, I'm already getting e-mail about this post.

I totally agree with you about Neal Boortz being an a-hole John. I used to like listening to him, but then I read your post and realized I don't like listening to him any more.

Thanks, anonymous suck-up!

Hey I totally agree with you too John. I usually like whats-his-name, but now that you say he's an a-hole I guess I don't any more.

You said it.

Uh-oh, looks like we have a dissenter:

John YOU are tha ashole hear. Seems to me that a guy named Adolf Hitler wanted to ban Neil Boortz so I guess you're no better then the Nazis.

Hmm...guess AOL doesn't have a spellcheck, eh? Don't worry, though, loser - you can always learn to spell, but being an a**hole is forever. That doesn't make any sense, does it? Just forget I said that, OK?

H/t: InstaPunk, who has a new challenge for the blogosphere.

Everyone's Entitled to His Opinion (UPDATED)

Zombie took some great photos at the "U.S. Out of Iraq Now" rally in San Francisco on March 18th.

This picture in particular caught my attention:

At first, I was really pissed that this asswipe was marching around advocating the death of the president. But that was before I got a close look at the top of his sign:

See, "DEATH TO WORLDS #1 TERRORIST. PIG BUSH-&-HIS-SHEEP" is just his opinion.

You know what probably happened? I bet he made that sign, then when the people in Legal reviewed it they made him add that line. Happens all the time.

Hey, I wonder if they told him to add this at the end:

Wow. That really gives the sign that extra "oomph", doesn't it?

No, really. I'll show you - try saying this out loud:

DEATH TO WORLDS #1 TERRORIST. PIG BUSH-&-HIS-SHEEP

OK, now try this:

DEATH TO WORLDS #1 TERRORIST. PIG BUSH-&-HIS-SHEEP. YAH.

See? Makes all the difference.

UPDATE: Speaking of a**holes with signs, WTF is up with this?

The inspector general of the Department of Justice, Glenn Fine, waits for the start of a House Judiciary Committee hearing as Code Pink member Medea Benjamin, right, and an unidentified protester stand behind him on Capitol Hill yesterday. (NY Sun, via HNAV)

Seriously, why are Medea Benjamin and the freaks at Code Pink being allowed to make a mockery of congressional committee hearings? Why isn't security throwing them out on their asses? Morons.

 

And Now, We Rejoin Fox News Sunday (Translated For Cavemen), Already In Progress

Now time for panel. Bush good or Bush bad?

 

 

That stupid question - Bush good.

 

 

No - Bush bad.

 

 

Ugh. Look like controversy. What you say?

 

 

Him right...

 

 

See? Bush bad.

 

 

Ugh. Not mean you; him.

 

 

There no question now. Bush good.

 

 

Time for show gone. We return after great fire in sky pass over seven times.

 

 

That long time.

 

 

That not Bush's fault!

 

 

Ugh. Maybe we talk about something different next time.

UPDATE: Maybe we talk about lying %$#!

 

Khalid Sheik Mohammed: Give The People What They Want

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rosie O'Donnell Down Through History

"Sorry, I'm just not seeing it."

“But I just think, [Khalid Shaikh Mohammed] for whatever he did or didn’t do, he is not the be all, end all of terrorism in America."

Wutevrr, d00d

OUTRAGE UPDATE:

Huh?

 

"This is an outrage! One that bears no resemblance whatsoever to that harmless incident involving people I agree with!"

 

"I couldn't agree more!"

 

"Unsolicited validation!"

 

And Now, a Segment of Hardball That's Been Translated From English to German, German to French, French to Italian, and Then Back to English

I was Chris Matthews, I have made to play them the ball.

 

 

Jim VandeHei writes to Isikoff for "Newsweek politico.com. and Michael." He is, obviously, the incredible author "of the Hubris, the inner history of the scandal and to sell the Iraq of war." What the delivery "Hubris" is type of case, to enter, towards the right? What - it has let out this last one?

 

 

We have had the news of some other details on a Cheney`s role, and the situation in the complete case and must resume a stage and say, it`s this case tightened on Libby like Denis Collins, the juror to which it has been said today, has been perceived from a lot of swears to you like case individual.

 

 

Let`s arrives to the points. The vice president was based with of the Libby in compliance with the certificate declares towards, in order to expire and to speak with about the Judy Miller. Has said with point, that he has said the source of the Valerie information to Wilson, it I was? And it was like "earth walnuts" or leggermente. I?

 

 

Absolutely on this case is fascinant. We have received really one amount detail on the vices president. We always knew that he was completely effective in this house white woman, however this much more micromanager? Really, prescribing to use, the house white woman to defend? Task that is, that that is therefore remarkable here.

 

 

The vice president who drops of all and we an audience ability amount this last one, is Mike, and sapete this last one. Why has previewed therefore a fear that that Joe to Wilson has said?

 

 

Well because the Wilson has regarded towards the right the vice president. It has proposed this travel.

 

 

The travel in Africa that has taken.

 

 

The vice president has caused it. And the vice president would receive nearly without some doubt one relation of that.

 

 

Three persons have made under an oath in this attempt that was Vizepresident`s the issue that has contributed to those travel.

 

 

The issue was that the travel has demanded. The vice president - it was that, we declare didn't to send them to its defense the individual on the travel. We didn't soaps.

 

 

There is a difference between the system and some-one asks it establishes. But on the private one - and that one was the case to this last one that to form tried. If you mean, to try let`s to regulate one straight line of recording and let`s to go after he.

 

 

We'll be right back with Jim VandeHei and Mike Isikoff. And later, an exclusive with Democratic candidate John Edwards, who's taken some stuff from Ann Coulter.

 

 

What the hell does that mean?

 

 

Greek to me.

 

WuzzaDem vs. dorkafork: Bloggo-a-Bloggo

Sure, dorkafork wrote a five-word review of "300", but how about a three-word review?

"Didn't see it."

YES!

Take that, dorkafork! Even your friend, the cat who bears an amazing resemblance to Hitler®, is bailing on you.

"Achtung! Herr dorkafork ees pwn3d!"

UPDATE: Damn you, dorkafork! I have no answer for this. Another day, sir - another day.

"Ya, can vee forget about zee pwnage I mentioned earlier? I may haff been a bit hasty. Danka."

 

Non-Posting Post (Which, Technically, Is the Same Thing As a Post. Also, The Same As Not a Post (If That Makes Sense, Which I Don't Think It Does. Whatever))

AAAAAAAAH!

This computer is seriously pissing me off right now.

You know, if you break that down it means that my computer is angering me in a way that is not joking or trifling.

Or, it could mean that my computer is angering me in a way that is excessive or impressive in quality, quantity, extent, or degree.

Does that sound stupid, or what?

Really, my computer has no freaking idea of or control over the manner in or extent to which it's failure to operate correctly affects my emotional state. And that really pisses me off.

Also pissing me off:

 

The DaVinci Code. That book was a steaming pile. Come on - the guy took Angels & Demons, moved it to a different location and renamed a few characters. I know it's old, but it still sticks in my craw. Just sayin'.

 

At the Local Starbucks, Glenn Beck Makes a Perfectly Valid 'Point', Which Some Humorless Individuals Don't 'Get'

I'm sorry, sir, but it looks like we're out of carrot cake.

 

 

Oh yeah? Well, do you think you'd be able to scare some up if I jumped over this counter and grabbed your ass?

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

OK, just give me a tall no-foam latte.

 

 

Guess she doesn't follow politics.

What, you've never had a stranger grab your ass?

 

First They Came For the Gamers, And I Didn’t Speak Up, Because...Well, Because It's Kind Of Silly, Really (UPDATED)

Get a grip, people:

Blasphemy!

Shortly before midnight (CST) on Monday, February 26, a group of republican Second Life users, some sporting "Bush '08" tags, vandalized the John Edwards Second Life HQ. They plastered the area with Marxist/Lenninist posters and slogans, a feces spewing obsenity, and a photoshopped picture of John in blackface, all the while harrassing visitors with right-wing nonsense and obsenity-laden abuse of Democrats in general and John in particular.

I witnessed this event, taking names and photos, including the owners of the pictures. I also kept and saved a copy of the chat log. I have filed an abuse report with Linden Labs, and am awaiting their investigation.

When I first read this I thought Second Life was the name of some nutroots offshoot - apparently it's a "virtual world", which I'm pretty sure means it's a game.

A game. Let that sink in.

So the Edwards campaign is awaiting an "investigation" into who "vandalized" their "headquarters" in a "virtual world".

Damn, I just broke the quote marks key.

Actual screenshot of the "vandalism".

BTW, who are these "Republicans" with "Bush '08" stickers? And how do you "harass" someone in a virtual world? Thick-skinned, these Edwards people are. Well, at least we have an idea of how Edwards would handle a major disaster if he were elected.

Wasn't Edwards going to "harness the power of the blogosphere" or some crap? Seems like his campaign blog has been nothing but a source of embarrassment so far.

Thanks to Dan Collins (not for the vandalism, for the tip).

UPDATE: Feces spewing obsenity [sic]? WTF?

UPDATE II: Kirsten Powers has an excellent v-log on " The Seedy World of Second Life" (H/T: mesablue). As she notes, Edwards picked a rather strange neighborhood in which to build his "virtual campaign headquarters":

As you will see, the Edwards HQ has some disturbed neighbors. Particularly troubling are the rape fantasy clubs and the child sex brothel called Jailbait (the "owner" of the club, a 35-year- old woman named Emily Semaphore refers it as "age-play.") The "Second Life Herald" complains that "Intersexed Avatar Children Hard to Find" and provides this handy graph to explain what kind of virtual child sex the adult members of Second Life are engaging in:

Nice neighbors you've got there, John.

As for Republicans being responsible for this wanton virtual destruction (virtually wanton destruction?), check out this comment from the Edwards campaign blog:

There are a lot of possibilities. Don't immediately jump at the idea that it is Republicans or progessives.

Second Life is the home to a lot of people who believe in almost anarchist level of freedom. I don't say that as a judgement one way or the other. But it is a realm where ANYTHING is possible and many a "prankster" will jump at the opportunity to stir things up. Edwards headquarters makes a perfect target. Just as the less destructive and more creative "John Edward" headquarters popping up right next door was stabbing at the absurb, this act of vandalism may very well be the same.

Anything in SL that smells of mainstream or popularity will be and is a target. Try not to read any more of an agenda than that: Chaos for chaos's sake.

I guess that would explain the "Bush '08" stickers. Thanks for the info, anonymous pervert loser "virtual world" enthusiast.