Diane Feinstein Is All Business At the Local Starbucks

Welcome to Starbucks, can I help you?

 

 

Yeah, give me a triple venti no-foam latte with room, and step on it - I've got government business to attend to.

 

 

OK, we're really busy this morning, but we can have that for you in about five minutes.

 

 

Five minutes?? Look I don't have five minutes - I'm sure these other people wouldn't mind if you took care of me first.

 

 

I'm afraid I can't do that...

 

 

I need to get to my office so I can draft a resignation letter!

 

 

I'm sorry, I can't...

 

 

What if I told you I could get you a $12 million medical supplies contract?

 

 

That wouldn't help.

 

 

We're talking no-bid contract, here.

 

 

We don't even have medical supplies here.

 

 

Look, it wouldn't be hard to move my cup to the front - just pull it out...

 

 

Oh my God, she said "Pull it"! You heard her, there's your evidence!

 

 

Ma'am, I've already asked you to leave several times this morning.

 

 

Two words, people: Instant coffee!

 

 

I'm trying to be nice, ma'am.

 

 

Google it!

 

 

I will call the police.

 

 

Ah, that's better. Nutrients rushing to my brain...serotonin...

 

 

GET OUT!

 

 

Man, is she annoying.

 

 

All right, I've spoken to everyone in line and they've all agreed to let me cut in front of them.

 

 

Did you offer all of those people no-bid contracts?

 

 

Of course not.

 

 

Good, I was afraid...

 

 

A couple of them aren't incorporated, so I had to give them high-paying jobs at one of my husband's companies.

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

I'm definitely using a sick day tomorrow.

GOOGLE IT!

 

Comments

[Ledger1]

Diane “Just Do It” Feinstein has been working the system for years. She knows how to use “no bid” contracts and other “outside favors” to get her way. That’s how it’s done in California.

…Don’t bring up the political situation in Compton or LA.

[Darrell]

You don't get sick days at Starbucks.