WuzzaDem

Two Complete Strangers With No Particular Interest In Politics Talk About The Blogosphere's Reaction To The Attempt On Vice President Cheney's Life

You know, Complete Stranger One, in my opinion those who rely on anonymous blog comments to make an argument should be presumed to have no argument at all.

 

 

I couldn't agree more, Complete Stranger Two.

 

 

Unless of course those comments were made by conservatives and one can establish a connection to the content or theme of the blog.

 

 

Of course.

 

 

And considering the extremist and sociopathic mentality prevalent in the right-wing blogosphere, that connection can be made very easily by a skilled attorney - or even someone with no particular interest in politics, such as myself.

 

 

How about e-mails, Complete Stranger Two?

 

 

What about them, my fellow apolitical stranger?

 

 

Do you think it's fair to judge an entire group of people based on a few e-mails from people who claim to share that group's beliefs?

 

 

Absolutely not. Unless those e-mails were from members of some crazed patriarchal religious group that subjugates women, marginalizes other religions, interferes with the education of children, and promotes human rights violations. You know, religions that encourage violence toward so-called non-believers.

 

 

That's who I was talking about - Christians.

 

 

In that case, generalize away!

 

 

And while we're not on the subject, I would certainly think that, should a liberal blogger delete a post which had been criticized as being hateful, judgmental, or totally without basis in fact, that deletion would be due to some technical problem rather than a blatant attempt by the blogger to cover his or her tracks.

 

 

I agree.

 

 

Wait, you're agreeing with yourself?

 

 

What?

 

 

You made a statement, then said you agreed.

 

 

Uhhh...I'm pretty sure it was you who agreed with me.

 

 

I think I would know if it was me who agreed with you, and it wasn't. I mean, I do agree with you, but I didn't say I did, you did.

 

 

Did what?

 

 

SAID YOU AGREED!

 

 

I gotta tell you, I'm totally lost, here.

 

 

Look, just scroll up and read the captions, OK? I'll wait here.

 

 

OK.

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

Well, I went back over the conversation, and I'm still lost - how about we just agree to agree that conservative is bad and liberal is good, OK?

 

 

Well, I have no particular interest in politics, but that works for me.

 

 

Yes! Eat THAT Little Green Fascists!

 

 

Even though I *ahem* have no particular interest in politics.

 

 

I have to go.

Good DAY, sir!

I said, GOOD DAY!

UPDATE: Good day? I never said that.

UPDATE II: The InstaPunk challenge!

 

Movie Trivia

Question: How many times do you have to see the movie Heat before you're sick of it?

"Look at me!"

I must have seen it 15-20 times, and I'm not there yet.

UPDATE: I'm pretty sure this is illegal, or at least sublegal.

2010: Somewhere In the Skies Over Washington, DC

Executive lounge of the corporate jet of Geffen Political, Inc. (A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Geffen Industries):

 

"I've had my eye on you a long time, President Obama. I consider you one of my most valuable long-term investments."

 

Studio B: Don't Blink

Welcome back! Shepard Smith here with you on Studio B.

 

 

Is the blogging craze about to peak? There are literally millions of weblogs, or blogs on the Internet, covering everything from politics to pop culture, and thousands more come online every day.

 

 

But some analysts, including my next guest, say the public's appetite for blogs is waning. Joining me here in the studio is David Weber, technology guru and editor of e-Life magazine. Welcome to the show, David.

 

 

Thanks for having me, Shepard.

 

 

So, you know this market - is the popularity of blogs really going to level off any time soon?

 

 

Our research says it is, Shepard.

 

 

You know, we all have our own blogs here at Fox, so I like to think I'm pretty much in tune with what's happening as far as technology is concerned, but I have to tell you, I don't see how blogging could peak any time in the foreseeable future.

 

 

It already has, Shep.

 

 

What?

 

 

Yeah, it just peaked while you were talking.

 

 

How could it peak while I was talking?

 

 

Now it's declining rapidly.

 

 

I don't understand how....

 

 

Aaaaand...it's over. Nobody's blogging any more.

 

 

Nobody?

 

 

Nobody. It's all about podcasting now.

 

 

OK, um...so, a podcast is basically an online audio recording that you can download to an MP3 player, right?

 

 

That's a pretty simplistic explanation. See, podcasting is all about overcoming the limitations of what we used to call "blogging". Podcasting lets the author's emotions come through. You just can't do that when you're working with text.

 

 

Right. So if I wanted to start doing this podcasting, what would I need? I'm assuming there's some kind of special software that let's me record my thoughts and then get that recording online, so where would I find that?

 

 

You can get podcasting software just about anywhere, but why would you bother?

 

 

Well...how would I put together a podcast unless I had the software?

 

 

Come on - podcasting is dead.

 

 

Dead? But you just said...

 

 

Get over it, already. Do you want to sit in front of a pair of "speakers" listening to someone blabbing about what they had for lunch? V-Logging is what's hot now.

 

 

V-Logging. That's like video blogging, right?

 

 

It is primarily video, but I really hate to use outdated terms like "blogging" to describe this technology.

 

 

I gotta tell you, I'm a little confused, David, and I'm not alone. We're already getting e-mail from viewers asking why...

 

 

E-mail? Did you say e-mail? Careful, Shepard, or you'll end up like this guy.

 

 

 

 

That looks like a guy working on a laptop.

 

 

Exactly. It's like, Hello, grandpa? You need some coal to keep that thing going?

 

 

Why is there a monitor in your chair?

 

 

I'm back in my office. Nobody's doing the "in-studio" thing anymore.

 

 

OK, whatever. Look, I almost hate to ask this, but is V-logging...

 

 

Out. You need to be looking into social netwoking - MySpace, Facebook, Live Spaces. It combines elements of all the technologies we've talked about.

 

 

Um...I think there's a problem with the video on your monitor.

 

 

No problem, I'm operating as a fractal now so I can multi-task. I'd explain, but I doubt a guy who's still using "e-mail" would understand.

 

 

Yeah...uh, so you mentioned MySpace, Facebook, Live Spaces - which one would you recommend?

 

 

It doesn't matter, they've just merged - besides...

 

 

Let me guess - social networking is out.

 

 

Three words: Massively distributed collaboration. It ties together wikis, e-conferences, blogs, virtual communities.

 

 

Yeah. OK. So, where can our viewers learn more about massively distributed collaboration?

 

 

 

 

OK, I'm really not sure what's happening, but it looks like we lost David, or at least his audio...

 

 

Audio? You're still using Audio?

 

 

We'll be back after a short break to continue this...actually, I think we'll just talk about something else.

 

Britney Spears Shaves, Then Decides to Wear a Wig

Just makes her look freakier, if you ask me.

Definitely a cry for help.

Conservative Comedy Rules!

Now, that's funny!

Wow, that was...bad. Not as bad as it could have been, but I didn't laugh once. My wife chuckled slightly once, but that was it. It was like, SNL bad. Oh well. I don't know what I expected from the only comedy show with its own charity.

Steve's tracking the reviews.

Anyway, I gave it a chance. It's not funny. Sorry if that hurts the cause, it is what it is.

UPDATE: JimK loved the show*.

UPDATE II: David Frum: Traitor (H/T: Steve).

*Message for Fox HHNH writers: JimK didn't really love the show - I was being sarcastic. Sorry for any confusion.

 

I Do Not Approve Of These Links

You people should be ashamed of yourselves!

 

What ever happened to common decency?

First, I find this terrible attempt to sabotage Fox's new comedy show: Half-Hour News Hour Aid.

Can't you people just give the show a chance? I mean, it hasn't even aired yet, and you're judging it by the promotional clips Fox put out. Sure, these were, in the mind of the promoters, the funniest bits, and while I agree they weren't the least bit funny, does that necessarily mean the show won't be funny?

OK, forget I asked that. Just take my word, if the show is green-lighted, within six to eight months it will most likely start to improve, so lets' treat it with the proper respect and see it for what it is: One of the most important events of this century, and worthy of the support of every single conservative.

Sure, we laughed at liberals for encouraging each other to "support" Air America. We chuckled and said that the network would succeed or fail based on the quality of the programming, the talent of the on-air personalities, and the demand for a liberal radio network. But this is different, because it's...um...because...uh, well, it just is.

So, support the show, or just admit you're a commie-loving hippie pinko who hates the troops.

Another blog I discovered today was Pwndagon, which I'm pretty sure is a spoof of Pandagon.

What's with all the hating? Can't you people give Pandagon a chance? Sure, right now it's basically a collection of mouth-foaming rants from a bunch of bitter, hateful, paranoid lunatics who see a feminist-bashing "misogynist" behind every tree, but sometimes it just takes a blog a while to "find its voice." I'm sure Pandagon will be much better after they've had time to make a few tweaks.

In fact, it might just turn out to be one of the most awesome blogs in the history of blogdom.

"Sooo beautiful...no words...no words...should have sent...a poet."

Could happen.

 

Campaign '08: Takin' It to the Street...And Elsewhere

Geez:

New Mexico has taken its fight against drunken driving to men's restrooms around the state.

The state has ordered 500 talking urinal cakes that will deliver a recorded anti-DWI message to bar and restaurant patrons who make one last pit stop before getting behind the wheel.

 

Whew! Man, do I have to...

 

 

Remember, drinking and driving don't mix!

 

 

Who said that?

 

 

Sorry, that was me, sir.

 

 

But you're a...

 

 

We're just doing our part to cut down on the number alcohol-related fatalities in this country.

 

 

That's right - thousands of people are killed by drunk drivers every year, so please be careful.

 

 

Oh, well, uh...I will.

 

 

Yes, if you're going to be drinking, please make sure you have a designated driver.

 

 

Or you can always call a cab.

 

 

Excellent suggestion.

 

 

Thanks.

 

 

In short, don't drink and drive.

 

 

Thanks, I appreciate the advice.

 

 

No problem.

 

 

Our pleasure.

 

 

And remember to vote for Hillary Clinton in the upcoming primary.

 

 

What??

 

 

Hillary? Are you serious?

 

 

Of course I am - who are you voting for, Edwards?

 

 

Yes, as a matter of fact I am.

 

 

Oh, please! The guy's an empty suit!

 

 

Well, at least he's not a Washington insider like Hillary.

 

 

Hey, that's a great selling point - lack of experience! Just what we need in a president.

 

 

At least he's going to bring the troops home!

 

 

That's what he says now - he's still got time to flip-flop like his buddy Kerry.

 

 

What does any of this have to do with drunk driving?

 

 

Hey, do you mind? We're kind of in the middle of something here.

 

 

Yeah, butt out, boozehound.

 

 

Fine, I'll just take my business elsewhere.

 

 

Whatever.

 

 

Man, I can't believe those two. I'll just go in this stall - at least I'll have some peace and quiet.

 

 

O-ba-MA! O-ba-MA! O-ba-MA!

 

 

On second thought, I'll just hold it till I get home.

 

Good News!

Now that I'm out of the cast and sporting the [COMPANY NAME REDACTED] Premium Air Walker, it looks like I'll once again be able to stand dangerously close to speeding hot rods.

Actually, I've never done that before and I can't figure out what kind of therapeutic value can be gained by placing my injured foot in close proximity to cars capable of high speeds, driven by middle-aged adrenaline junkies who still have the urge to "soup up" their "bitchin' rides" and "peel out", but who am I to argue with a photograph from the [COMPANY NAME REDACTED] web site?

And to think, that asswipe orthopedist of mine told me not to put any weight on my foot. What a tool.

Here's a close-up view of my [COMPANY NAME REDACTED] Premium Air Walker:

Sweet, huh? Yeah, this baby sports a patented pneumatic system that increases stability while decreasing pain and swelling, accommodates the swelling patterns that occur throughout the rehabilitation process, and the air is easily adjusted to achieve desired compression and custom fit. Oh, and did I mention there's no anterior hard shell to deal with, like competitor models?

UPDATE: Serious setback - I had to switch over to the [COMPANY NAME REDACTED] "Pro-Rom" walker. Some crap about achille's tendon, plantar's flexion, blah, blah, blah.

According to the photos on the [COMPANY NAME REDACTED] web site, here's what I'm allowed to do:

 

Great - I can stand in one spot. Exciting, huh? This really blows.

 

High Noon At The TownHall Corral (UPDATED - AGAIN)

InstaPunk is gunnin' for Dean Barnett and Hugh Hewitt:

Truth is, Dean Barnett would do anything for the Red Sox. Dean's boss at Townhall.com is Hugh Hewitt. Hewitt likes Mitt Romney. Romney was governor of Massachusetts, home of the Red Sox. How surprising is it that Barnett posted this the other day?

To put Romney's on-line fundraising into perspective, consider that the notoriously web-savvy John Edwards raised only $746k and change on-line in the same time period. And Romney raised his $1,.4 million on line without the help, guidance and leadership of two virtual gyno-warriors. Amazing!

Sigh. Hewitt and Barnett are both smart guys, but, well, really. Mormonism is the most absurd form of Christianity by, say, a million parsecs, and I, personally, am getting tired of American conservatives who believe the American people can be sold a bill of goods on the say-so of well connected (Look at me being influential!) bloggers.

RTWT, as they say in the more sophisticated areas of Blogsville.

 

Above: Another Romney supporter "comes out".

UPDATE: Whaaaaaa?

UPDATE: And still, the debate rages. Must-read for Romney supporters.

 

Fresh From His Victory Over the Smear Merchants of the Far Right, John Edwards Hires Additional Campaign Staff

"They've assured me that it was never their intention to malign anyone's race or religion, and I take them at their word."

UPDATE: SeeDubya wins the prize for "Funniest Marcotte Post Title"

UPDATE II: There's no real "prize", dude. It's just a figure of speech, so tell your lawyers to stop calling me.

 

After a Short Stint As John Ewards' Blogmaster, Amanda Marcotte Decides to Fight the Starbucks Misogynist Corporatocracy From "The Inside"

Day 1:

 

OK, one cup of coffee made from beans stolen from an exploited, impoverished, Central American farmer, we'll squirt some hot white liquid on top of it and put it into a big cardboard phallic symbol - you want any pumpkin loaf?

 

Day 2:

 

Just a coffee? Just a coffee? How f***ing stupid do you think I am? It's never "just a coffee" to little rich boy jock a**holes like you. You might as well just whip out your c**k right now - go ahead, whip it out, jock-boy!

 

So...are you saying you're out of coffee?

 

Day 3:

 

Wow, a forty-cent tip. I guess I'm supposed to strip down and f**k you right here on the counter, right? It's not happening!

 

Day 4:

 

Have a nice f***ing day, a**hole!

 

Day 5:

 

My attitude? You're letting me go because of my attitude? That's f***ing bullsh*t and you know it!

 

Just wait till Chris Bowers hears about this.

 

Coming Soon To a John Edwards Press Conference Near You

I did not. Read. That woman's blog...Miss Marcotte.

Who could blame him?

UPDATE: Now, that's principles, baby!

UPDATE II: I swear, my f***ing sides hurt after reading this (H/T: Dan F***ing Collins).

 

What

Ev.

UPDATE: Er.

UPDATE II: D0od.

Early Spring: Further Proof of Global Warming

"BOO-yah! See you be-yotches on the red carpet."

Thanks to Dan Collins for the idea. Apologies to groundhogs everywhere.

Shorter Sadly, Doh!

If you turn the TV off, the media won't be able to influence anybody - ever think of that?

 

 

You best remember who's payin' the taxes around here.

 

 

Wingers should be worried about the government - after all, they have tanks, missiles, guns, planes, secret prisons, missiles, tanks, planes...

 

 

But even if you turn off the TV, you still have to pay taxes. There's your difference, right there.

 

 

If they wanted to, they could take my children, throw me in jail, and drag my husband off to join the army.

 

 

And if I'm payin' the freight, you better believe I'm gonna inspect the cargo.

 

 

Do these right-wingers have any idea how stupid they look?

 

 

IF you know what I'm sayin'.

 

 

Wait, that's can't be right - I don't even have a husband. Or do I?

 

 

Not really sure what I meant with that last comment.

 

 

They should be embarrassed to show their faces in public.

 

 

Come to think of it, I'm not even a woman. Or am I?

 

Head-'splodey time: The 'Shorter' concept was created and perfected before blogs were even a twinkle in Al Gore's eye.