Iraq Study Group Launches Run for the Presidency

 

Iraq Study Group co-chair James Baker pushing flapjacks in Iowa

Frustrated that its recommendations have not been accepted and implemented by President Bush after nearly twenty-seven hours, the Iraq Study Group filed documents with the Federal Election Commission today to create a presidential campaign committee.

"The media sent a clear message yesterday," said former Secretary of State James Baker, speaking on behalf of the group. "Our press conference was carried live on every major network, all of the cable news networks, and even on MSNBC. Whatever President Bush is doing, they want leaders who will do the opposite, and that's exactly what we intend to do."

ISG co-chair Lee Hamilton, former congressman, vice chairman of the 9/11 Commission and former member of the Hart-Rudman Commission and Baker-Hamilton Commission to Investigate Certain Security Issues at Los Alamos added, "I've spoken with reporters, anchor persons and producers from all over New York, and every one of them has told me they're fed up with state of press conferences in this country today. The members of this commission have a long history with the press in this town," he continued, "so when we're in the White House, there will be a lot more inside jokes at our pressers - the kind they actually get."

The group said it will begin touring Iowa next week, where they will be giving away autographed copies of their report. "We think we'll do well in Iowa," said Baker. "Iowans know that we can study just about anything, and then follow up with reports that contain buttloads of recommendations . What more do you need in a leader? I mean, leaders."

In a separate press conference in which members of the 9/11 Commission announced the formation of their own exploratory committee, former New Jersey Governor and Commission Chairman Thomas Kean asked, "Does anyone know where the hell Lee is?"

UPDATE: It's on!

HOLY CRAP UPDATE: I'm still laughing at this.

Background here.

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT INSTAPUNK...Don't miss the graphic at the top of this post. Wow.

 

Comments

[km]

I'm out of work as of Jan. 5. Does Iraq Study Group need an experienced campaign manager?

I'm also adept and transforming candidate bullshit into empty-promise-rich direct mail and broadcast advertising. Considering the amount of bullshit the candidate spewed yesterday, I believe I could retire early working for Iraq Study Group.

[Jeff H]

Can the Hemorrhoid Study Group be far behind? I mean, come on, can't they form a group to study something important, that millions of suffering Americans--and probably Iraqis--could then actually benefit from?

[andycanuck]

I'm sorry, but now that the ISG Power Rangers have been removed from their sealed packaging, they've lost all their value.