Exclusive: Saddam Hussein's Last Will and Testament

No kiddin':

As the hour of his death approached, Saddam received two of his half brothers in his cell on Thursday and was said to have given them his personal belongings and a copy of his will.

We managed to get a copy of the will:

I, Saddam Hussein Abd al-Majidida al-Tikriti, being of sound mind and body, declare this to be my Will, and I revoke any and all wills and codicils I previously made, especially that one where I really went off on my kids for denting the gold-plated bumper of one of my cars.

I hereby leave the following personal property to my brother Ernest (I know, I know):

One bag of Doritos.

Two pairs of Fruit of the Loom "tighty whities" (please excuse the Doritos stains).

One half-bag of Doritos.

Two white dress shirts, one with Doritos stains on the collar (OK, both have Doritos stains on the collar, but one is a lot worse than the other).

One quarter-bag of Doritos.

One dark grey sport coat, with slight Doritos stain inside the breast pocket. Some stains on the lapels, too. Maybe a little bit of staining on the right sleeve. And the left sleeve.

One pair of "Mr. Magoo" style glasses with orange smudges on the lenses.

One empty Doritos bag.

Comments

[Donnah]

Good stuff.
I was pleased to learn today about his Burger King penchant. We'd barely gotten to know the big guy and now he's gone.

[John from WuzzaDem]

We'd barely gotten to know the big guy and now he's gone.

Saddam, we hardly knew ye.

But, you know, we didn't really want to know ye, so no regrets.

[capitano]

Saddam channeled Ron White near the end and was overheard telling his audience:

How about those Euro-states? They are all about abolishing the death penalty -- mine is putting in an express lane!

[Ray G]

NPR interviewed a guy from southern Iraq, and he said that Saddam deserved to die, even without a trial. NPR did nothing to correct the statement, and while the trial did seem to have a foregone conclusion, it's a bit much to say that there was essentially no trial.

It makes me think; the Iraqis must be getting their news from NPR, CNN and Dan Rather.

[Jeff H]

How the hell did those Doritos get in there? I wasn't aware that Doritos were on the "Oil-for-Food" approved rations list.

[Amador]

How do you say 'scuse dude' in pig latin ?
rim shot.