Who Should You Believe - AP or Bloggers?

Hi, I'm a blogger.

 

 

And I'm a journalist for the Associated Press.

 

 

You're a journalist for AP? What are you working on?

 

 

Well, I just got back from Iran.

 

 

Were you reporting on those students that heckled Ahmadinejad?

 

 

Maybe you bloggers haven't heard, but we are fighting a war over there. I think that's a little more important than what some rowdy students might be doing.

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

Wait, are you talking about Iraq?

 

 

Oh, right, Iraq. I do that all the time - they're spelled almost exactly alike, you know.

 

 

I know. And, by the way, everyone knows we're fighting a war in Iraq.

 

 

Thanks to the Associated Press!

 

 

Um...yeah. So, what's it like over there?

 

 

It's tough - surviving on rations, having to watch your back every minute, blistering heat.

 

 

You really gotta feel for the troops over there.

 

 

Who?

 

 

...

 

 

Never mind. So, did you come away with any interesting stories?

 

 

Well, since the story will be out in the next couple of hours, I suppose I can let you in on this.

 

 

I broke a story about a particularly nasty incident involving some al-Qaeda people attacking a group of Sunnis.

 

 

Are you sure you've got that right? I'm pretty sure al-Qaeda is a Sunni organization.

 

 

Who can keep track - maybe they were sheilas.

 

 

You mean Shiites?

 

 

I guess. Anyway, that's not important - whatever they were, the one group dragged a bunch of the others out of their mask...

 

 

Mosque.

 

 

Whatever. They dragged these guys into the street and burned them alive.

 

 

Wow! Those must have been some pretty gruesome pictures.

 

 

Pictures... right. We didn't really get any pictures.

 

 

Oh. Well, I feel for you, man. I don't know if I could handle seeing something like that.

 

 

I didn't actually see what happened. Personally.

 

 

So, someone else from AP saw what happened?

 

 

Actually, we got the details from a source. That's a term we journalists use for...

 

 

I know what a source is. So, who was this source of yours?

 

 

Good question.

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

So...who was it?

 

 

I believe his name is, uh...Sadam Hussein. Yes, that's it.

 

 

Dude, Sadam Hussein is the former dictator of Iraq.

 

 

...

 

 

You know, the guy who was recently sentenced to death?

 

 

Oh, riiiight. I read about that somewhere. Come to think of it, my source's name is Barack Hussein.

 

 

That's the first and middle name of a U.S. Senator.

 

 

Sorry, I'm a little tired right now from the jet lag. Six-hour flight, you know.

 

 

Um, I've never been to Iraq, but I think it takes a lot longer than six hours to fly there.

 

 

Not if you fly first class. Anyway, my source's name should be easy to find out - he's Iraq's Interior Minister.

 

 

That's a story in itself - but I guess you already thought of that. Being a journalist.

 

 

Or did he work for the Interior Minister?

 

 

You might want to check into that.

 

 

Maybe he was an interior decorator.

 

 

Good thing they have editors at the AP.

 

 

Wait, I'm thinking of our source in Iran. Do we even have a source in Iraq?

 

 

Somebody should keep an eye on this guy.

UPDATE: I was almost asleep when I posted this, neglected to say the post is especially for Michelle and Curt.

Michelle, Curt, if you do go, stay safe. Personally, I don't trust Eason Jordan as far as I can throw him. After all, the man has a checkered past, to put it mildly.

 

Comments

[Henry]

Totally awesome!

The wife and I find those commercials to be as absurd as AP's reporting, and I use a Mac. lol

You should send this to Steve Jobs.

[Lloyd]

Now I know I'm middle-aged. I despise those commercials and those actors so much that I couldn't read this. I assume it was funny.

[pcguy]

Hmmmmm......

[TT]

AP Guy: "Who can keep track... Let me scratch my butt a minute before answering...

"Did you know that I am in the UK at the Warf and that I sit across the table from Hussein?

"He gives me the strait rod on all of the news from the Middle East. Don’t question me… I sit across from Hussein. He has all the news..."

[Dan Patterson]

Shelia's in masks.

I'd pay to see that. Wait a minute. I HAVE paid to see that.

[Red Stater]

GREAT WORK... i love your style with the back and forth chatter and the images... brilliant.

God Speed to Michelle and Curt.

Jamil Hussein or david podvin, whatever your name is,(AP source) you've been had!

-red

[Syntax]

Hi, I wrote a rambling, seven-paragraph comment on bloviating bloggers (no, I didn't see the irony).

My original thoughts included calling Michelle Malkin a racist, "self-hater" (because she's not "white"), and an "anchor baby", and said that, while bloggers sit around in their pajamas, the AP consist of professionals who are educated in journalism. I missed the irony there as well.

I admitted that Malkin might be "on to something" with this "Jamil Hussein thing", but said that that doesn't matter to me, because she has a "right-wing agenda".

All in only seven paragrphs.

P.S. I also think the "textbook definition" of a hypocrit [sic] is someone who criticizes the mainstream media while publishing columns in MSM outlets. I don't remember where I got that textbook.

[Fallen' Angel]

The only thing that keeps this from being hysterical instead of just funny is how much truth there is to it.

Still loved it though!

[Cookie]

I cried as I laughed...because there was so much truth to it...Great Post....

[Jabba the Tutt]

Brilliantly done! You got the tone of the commercials dead on. I like the commercials. My wife takes acting classes, so I watch the commercials for the acting. You accomplished something very tough, getting that tone just right.

[Kev]

This is grest! I like the Mac commercials, and you've come up with a brilliant parody that totally nails the style of the originals. Congrats on the well-deserved Instalanche.

[Sherlock]

I must disagree with the "right on"-type comments above. While it is a great re-use of the commercial as a vehicle for a dialog, I think the roles are assigned incorrectly. It may be an effective visual cue to have the AP represented by a nerd in a suit, but it is a simplistic one.

My perception is that bloggers are the nerds who are wedded to the "quaint" idea that the media should strive to present the unbiased truth, while the AP/MSM are the "cool" folks who know what the truth should be, even if it requires an Orwellian twisting of the facts to make it so.

And what could scream "MSM" louder than the "cool" guy's smugness, so pervasive in Mac users, and their fondness for laying clique-style put-downs on those who are not as cool, which after all is the central message of the real commercial this parodys, isn't it? Mac fanatics hold the original patent on haughty eye-rolling condescention - the AP/MSM could sit at Steve Jobs' feet and learn what elitism really is!!

ps. If you disagree with my observations, I suggest you just watch the flames this generates, and then ask yourself what part of the political spectrum it reminds you of.

[Whell]

Except that you know for damn sure that the AP apparatchiks think of themselves as "Mac" and their dreaded "warbloggers" as "PC". And that's one of the problems: the AP figures they are way too cool to be questioned by the likes of people who failed to vote for John Kerry.

[Sherlock]

I think Whell just made the same point I did, but using a lot fewer words.

[Mike O]

I really hate those commercials; this is the first good use of the material.

Captain Jamil might actually exist, but it's whose forces he's a Captain in that is the question. Al-Qaeda? Syrian Military Intelligence? Iranian Special Forces? Jack Murtha's Irregulars? Who?

[Ulno]

I wonder if someone could called up Dan Rather and Marla Mapes to do an in-depth investigation of Jamil Hussein? My understanding is that they still have a licensed copy of Microsoft Word available, so any "loose ends" could be easily cleaned up.