Jim Webb Brings His Special Brand of Hospitality to the Local Starbucks
Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?
What kind of smartass crack is that?
Just trying to find out what you want, sir.
What I want is for you to mind your own damned business, are we clear?
Sorry, but I do need to take your order.
Look, pizza-face - Jim Webb doesn't take orders from anyone, so you can shut your piehole.
Do you want coffee or not, sir?
If I wanted coffee I'd go to a G-d damned Starbucks.
Sir, this is a Starbucks.
Am I supposed to be impressed?
Sir, if you don't order I'm going to have to ask you to step out of line.
All right, you don't have to be an a**hole about it. Give me a tall half-caff caramel macchiato with room.
Do you want soy milk with that?
That's between me and my tall half-caff caramel macchiato with room, isn't it?
...
...
I'm going back to med school.
You know what's good with coffee? Fruitcake.
UPDATE: I can't take you anywhere! (H/T: Allah)
Webb is just another opportunistic anti-war democrat like Murtha.
Posted by: Ledger1 | November 30, 2006 at 12:49 AM
I'm not sure I believe Webb's version of events, although I do believe he believes his base will believe he was speaking truth to power. And they may well believe that. But the vast majority of the people who will hear about this incident will not believe the incredible, insufferable arrogance of the man.
Posted by: Karen | November 30, 2006 at 05:08 AM
Is "fruitcake" enough of a warning that you're linking to a site that's Not Safe For Sentient Beings (NSFSB)? My IQ just dropped a dozen points, and I can't afford that.
Posted by: Attila (Pillage Idiot) | November 30, 2006 at 10:37 AM
Yet another reason not to drink coffee...
Posted by: Jeff H | November 30, 2006 at 11:16 AM
Webb's quickly becoming a hero to the young here. My son's classmates (8 of them) had T-shirts on yesterday that "Jim Webb is my HERO!!" and there's a picture of Webb with his fist in Bush's face and blood spurting out of Bush's head. Tacky, but unfortunately very very popular, according to the teachers.
Posted by: renee | December 01, 2006 at 12:43 PM
Shrub should have thought of that before he drafted Webb's son and then had the noive to go and GREET Webb like that! Got his bubble popped, yeah!
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Posted by: MB | December 03, 2006 at 06:18 PM
Ahhhh. Poor little George. Someone was rude to him? How unreasonable of Webb to verbally spank the worst president in history.
Posted by: Anon1 | December 05, 2006 at 10:30 AM
Outstanding analysis! Bravo, sir - bra-vo!
Posted by: John from WuzzaDem | December 05, 2006 at 10:33 AM
Looking forward to meeting my Senator, Jim "Braveheart" Webb, so I can wise off to him and possibly slug the little rat faced traitor.
After all, it's OK to do that, according to Jim Webb.
Posted by: Brian | December 05, 2006 at 01:47 PM
Good for Web not to taking any shite from a week-kneed suck like Shrub, but I must admit this is one of the funniest things I've ever read.
I'm going to poor syrup all over my groin and have some pancakes.
Posted by: LanceThruster | December 09, 2006 at 01:18 AM