Fighting Islamophobia, One Bit At a Time

I'm not happy with the blatant Islamophobia I've been seeing on a lot of conservative blogs, so I've decided to add as a co-blogger a moderate Muslim friend of mine who will be writing hilarious moderate Muslim posts. Please join me in welcoming my new co-blogger, IzzaMuz.

Thank you, John. I sincerely appreciate being given this opportunity to fight Islamophobia with humor.

The honor is mine, Izzy. And remember, I have no intention of telling you what you can or can't write. You have carte blanche here at WuzzaDem.

Thank you, my friend.

So, I'm anxious to see your first post - what is it going to be?

John, I thought I would provide your readers with a moderate Muslim's perspective on his first encounter with an anthropomorphic metal fastening implement that is being subjugated and exploited by a large corporation.

Um...OK. You do remember our discussion about this being a humor blog, don't you?

Oh, my apologies. I meant to say my humorous first encounter with an anthropomorphic metal fastening implement that is being subjugated and exploited by a large corporation.

Yeah, I'm still not seeing the...Oh, do you mean Clippy?

Of course. I apologize if I was not clear.

No, no, it's my fault. If I knew more about Muslim culture I would have understood what you were saying. I really should do more reading.

You are too gracious, my friend. I want to thank you again for asking me to join you.

Not at all. Thank you for agreeing to post here.

No, thank you for the opportunity.

Thank you for...look, why don't you just go ahead with your post. Ladies and gentlemen - IzzaMuz.

 

Well, I am certainly enjoying the use of this American word processing software.

 

No, but I appreciate the offer, anthropomorphic metal fastening device. Perhaps another time.

 

You are most kind, but I do not...

 

Subjugated, you say?

 

That is outrageous! Who is this American Bill Gates?

 

Again, outrageous!

 

This Microsoft is an evil corporation!

 

Death to Microsoft!

 

Whoa! Whoa! Hold up a second!

I'm sorry, is there a problem, John?

Is there a problem?? You can't go around calling for someone's death!

John, I believe the "Death to Microsoft" meme was started by American open source and Mac enthusiasts.

Oh...right.

As well as people who were generally dissatisfied with Microsoft's popular Windows software.

Yeah. Listen, I'm sorry, I just assumed...man, this is embarrassing. I'm sorry, Izzy.

No need to apologize, John.

See, this is what happens when people jump to conclusions about Muslims. I'm redoubling my efforts to fight the rampant Islamophobia that caused me to overreact like that.

Thank you, my friend.

No, thank you. Please go on with your post, I'm going to see about finding another moderate Muslim co-blogger, I'll be back soon.

 

Death to Microsoft!

 

Death to Bill Gates!

 

And the filthy Zionists who undoubtedly fund his Jew corporation!

 

Allahu Akbar!

 

 

 

 

Hey! Hey!

Oh, hello John. Did you find another moderate Muslim co-blogger?

What the hell are you talking about? What is all this about killing Jews?

That was the punchline.

What's the matter with you? I thought you were a moderate!

Well, no one said anything about killing all Jews. Can I continue the post now?

You can't say that!

Oh, so now you want to edit my posts?

I'm not editing anything, you just can't say that!

I don't mean to be rude John, but you sound like a typical Islamophobe.

Look, this was a bad idea, OK? I think you should just leave.

Very well, John, but I think you're doing your readers a disservice.

Just go!

Death to WuzzaDem!

Hey! You're on notice, buddy.

This was not a good idea.

 

Comments

[Ledger1]

Good one John.

Now can you translate that into Farsi for the Imams? They could use some humor.

[Jeff H]

What's with the Islamophobic overreaction there, John? He seemed downright European to me, what with his progressive attitude toward the Jews.

I'm calling CAIR...

[Clippy's Friend]

John, that was not a good idea...... Now, you've hurt Clippy's feelings and he's threatening suicide. See for yourself! Are you happy now, John?

[Damian G.]

"On notice"?!

SOMEbody's been watching Colbert.

[David]

Clippy is threatening suicide over this? Well, at least something good will come of it... if he makes good on that threat, that is. If he wants to do it with dynamite, I have some stumps to blow that I'd rather not have to dig/pull out, kinda kill two birds with one stone, as it were.

America's Third World County™, where we welcome all Muslim suicide bombers (as I hope Clippy will be) cos we always have legitimate, constructive uses for their explosives. And heck, if I can find some stumps that need clearing that've been overgrown with kudzu, the fragments of rotting Islamo-Clippy would serve to kill the kudzu, too. Have to watch out for groundwater contamination by pieces of Islamosoftware/pseudohardware, though... *sigh* It's always something.

[John from WuzzaDem]

SOMEbody's been watching Colbert.

Yikes. No, I tried when the show first aired because I liked him on The Daily Show (back when it was funny). Didn't even make it through the whole show.

I liken his schtick to most SNL skits - there's really no reason to keep going after two or three minutes. We get it, already.

[The Word-Drum]

If Izzamuz (I love that) promises not to kill the
jews, can he come back? Think about his feelings.
You invite him to speak and deney him his rights
as a patriotic Democrat.

[andycanuck]

Didn't Clippy try to kill the MS Einstein Office Assistant?

[John from WuzzaDem]

No. At least, there's no evidence he did. OK, maybe circumstantial evidence, but not enough to convict him.

[Jeff H]

Clippy is the Rasputin of our day.

He survived a "death pretzel".

And .

[Jeff H]

{well, crap, messed up my own stupid comment; what I meant to say was:}

Clippy is the Rasputin of our day.

He survived a "death pretzel".

And an attempted suicide.

[Scorpius]

Ouch, I'm guessing Dean Esmay was the inspiration of this post?