WuzzaDem

Let's Play Who's Got the Worse Tin Ear?

Is it John Kerry or Max Cleland?

"I think people will remember John Kerry's press conference today as the moment we Democrats stopped once and forever accepting the disgraceful smears of Republicans. John Kerry showed our Party how to fight back with the truth. John Kerry is a patriot who has fought tooth and nail for veterans ever since he came home from Vietnam."

 

"...personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam..."

 

"He has stood with his brothers in arms unlike this Administration which exploits our troops to make a political point and divide America."

Brothers in arms. Is that anything like Band of Brothers?

 

“John Kerry should apologize to no one for his criticism of the President and his broken policy in Iraq. George Bush is the one who owes our troops an apology. This is text book Republican campaign tactics."

Here's a textbook for you:

That reminds me - in light of the events of the past two days, I'd like to say:

Thank you John O'Neill.
Thank you Jerome Corsi.
Thank you Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. If not for you, this clown might actually be sitting in the Oval Office.

Small favors and all that.

 

John Kerry: "I Was An Asswipe Before I Was A Moron" (UPDATED)

After this:

“You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”

John Kerry issues this press release:

Washington – Senator John Kerry issued the following statement in response to White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, assorted right wing nut-jobs, and right wing talk show hosts desperately distorting Kerry’s comments about President Bush to divert attention from their disastrous record:

“If anyone thinks a veteran would criticize the more than 140,000 heroes serving in Iraq and not the president who got us stuck there, they're crazy. This is the classic G.O.P. playbook. I’m sick and tired of these despicable Republican attacks that always seem to come from those who never can be found to serve in war, but love to attack those who did.

Hard to argue with that. What kind of dipshit would accuse a veteran of criticizing our troops in a time of war?

Oh...Never mind. You know, what's so pathetic about this is that even if you gave him every benefit of a doubt and believed he was joking about Bush, it was still a nonsensical, idiotic, unfunny jackass thing to say. This is who the left wanted (and still wants) to lead this country.

Special MORON Update:

I think I speak for everyone when I say that I sincerely hope no one took this guy out behind the hotel and worked him over with a rubber hose. Or kicked him square in the nuts. Yeah, I really hope no one kicked him in the nuts. Repeatedly.

The mouth-foamers of the DU variety think that "Speaking truth to power" means running up to elected officials (like U.S. Senators) in public and screaming in their faces, demanding answers to your questions.

Good luck with that. Oh, and you might want to wear a cup.

Oodles Of Updates Update: Lots more here.

Great Minds Think Alike Update: Sorry Greg.

THE NO-BRAIN ZONE: Chrissy to the rescue!

Two words: Un. Believable.

MORON UPDATE UPDATE: Now the lefty blogs, outraged that conservatives are focusing on a "manufactured controversy", are trying bring attention to the real news of the day:

Republican's Staff Assault Marine Vet

That's right, the dickhead who was yelling in George Allen's face today is a "former marine, law student and citizen journalist."

Now he's pressing charges against Allen:

"It just isn't the America I know and love. Somebody needs to take a stand against those that would bully and intimidate their fellow citizens. That stand begins right here, right now."

Again, good luck with that.

MEDIA DECORUM UPDATE:

Well, it is Halloween.

"And the big bad Republican said..."

UPDATE TO THE MORON UPDATE UPDATE: A Kossack! That's a shock.

LOOK AT ME! (SERIOUSLY, PLEASE LOOK AT ME, BECAUSE MY RATINGS ARE IN THE TOILET) UPDATE: Keith Olbermann informs both of the people watching his show (one of them is from NewsBusters) that Bush is "too stupid" to know Kerry was was talking about him, not the troops. Hey, the man knows his stupid. Thanks to Smitty (-cs™) for the tip.

 

What's Missing in Iraq: Iraqi Leadership [Mrs. R.]

If there is one thing Americans can understand and appreciate, it is the power of the spoken word delivered with passion. With passion comes eloquence; with eloquence, the power to inspire.

Our Founding Fathers had passion. So did Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Ronald Reagan. Their ability to communicate a passion for freedom inspired millions to seek courage and summon strength, even in the most trying of times.

The question is, are there any leaders in Iraq who share this passion? Even one?

If so, hand him a bullhorn. Let him take to airwaves and address the Iraqi people whenever, wherever possible - every day, if necessary. Don't let the blood of brave soldiers and innocent civilians dry upon deserted streets where no one gathers.

If, however, not a single Iraqi leader can convincingly sing the praises of democracy, inspire hope or instill courage in his fellow countrymen, how can more U.S. troops allay fear or quell unrest?

It is not the job of US soldiers to win the hearts and minds of Iraqi citizens, nor should it be. Our soldiers are kind of busy risking life and limb to secure the podium. Winning the hearts and minds of Iraqis, instilling hope and inspiring courage, is the job of the newly and democratically elected leaders of Iraq.

Perhaps this should be the benchmark presented to Iraq's leadership:

Speak up, speak loudly, and speak soon.

The soldiers have done their job, so have the Iraqi citizens who braved terrorist threats to cast a ballot. It's time for the leaders of Iraq to hold up their end of the bargain.

 

Look at the Little Propaganda Tools! Aren't They Cute? [Mrs. R.]

Yes, this campaign season has been pretty sleazy, but that's politics.

However, there's a TV ad running in California that manages to descend the muck by dragging young kids into it.

View the video, or continue reading...

 

 

"I think President Bush should take his oil-loving..."

 

"Land-grabbing..."

 

"Crony-promoting..."

 

"Corporate-coddling..."

 

 

"Warmongering..."

 

"Stem cell-vetoing..."

 

"Constituion-bashing..."

 

"Privacy-invading..."

 

"Ideology out of California."

 

 

 

The future of California is in our hands.

 

"And don't even get me started on Rumsfeld."

 

 

 

Whether it's politics, religion, or beauty pageants, is there anything sleazier than coercing young children into delivering messages they don't yet understand, nor should be expected to understand? Messages about war, stem cell research, and parental notification?

The Indoctrination of American Youth, Mind and Body...

Making this ad even more distasteful: Proposition 85, one of the propositions this ad opposes, seeks to overturn current California law that allows girls as young as 12 to have an abortion without notifying their parents.

(Proposition 90, contrary to what the boy above implies, limits the state's "land-grabbing" authority, i.e., government seizure of private property for private use).

Is there anything more cowardly than letting kids do your dirty work?

Using young children as propaganda tools may not be original - but it sure is bottom- of-the-barrel, whatever the religious, political, or pageant affiliation.

 

 

Wanted: Michelle Malkin

Michelle Malkin, notorious back-stabbing, Republican-bashing, NAMBLA-lovin' sanctimonious apologist for the Democratic party and paid Fox News shill, may have sabotaged Republicans' efforts to maintain a majority in the House and/or Senate.

Now that Ms. Malkin has shown her "true colors" she is considered to be extremely dangerous, and anyone encountering her is advised to begin speaking immediately without first engaging his brain.

Effective strategies include accusations of "selling out", impugning of integrity, and leveling charges of dhimmitude.

 

The Just-for-Men New World Order...[Mrs. R.]

 

Men are sure lookingfine these days, especially to other men. Just ask any travel agent. They're booking mancations faster than they can write provocative copy for their brochures.

CONTENT WARNING: Gay stuff.

It Could Be Better...Then Again, Maybe Not [Mrs. R.]

CONTENT WARNING: This post expresses views that could be construed as socially conservative and/or religious in nature.

 

Society as a Hole: When Boomers Collide [Mrs. R.]

Liberals, rejoice! In the next five to ten years, the first generation (ever!) of American children reared on easily-accessible, hardcore Internet pornography will reach adulthood, hit the workforce, and start having children of their own!

 

 

 

But wait! There's more! Unlike previous generations of Americans, an unprecedented number of Porn Boomers come from broken homes or single-parent families, are woefully undereducated, and boast of little or no religious upbringing, whatsoever!

 

(Content Warning: Even trashier graphics ensue...)

Cranio-Sacral Therapy?

Puh-lease!

Seriously - enhancing the Para-sympathetic drive to neutralize the negative effects of the sympathetic nerve system in the body? Get real.

And don't even get me started on Somato-emotional release.

Ugh.

 

Cranio-Sacral Therapy

w00T!

Cranio-Sacral Therapy!

Way to enhance the Para-sympathetic drive and neutralize the negative effects of the sympathetic nerve system in the body, dude!

Cranio. Freaking. Sacral. Therapy.

Just sayin'.

UPDATE: Somato-emotional release? You really think that's the best way to un-cast negative percussions on the physical body to facilitate healing? Get real.

 

Jim Webb: Mmmmm...Foot

"...and I offer my humble apologies to any camel jockeys I may have inadvertently offended."

Geez:

"Every movie needs a villain," Webb says. He could let the statement end there, but instead, he does a strange thing. In the midst of a Senate race marked by accusations of racial insensitivity on both sides, he says this:

"Towel-heads and rednecks — of which I am one. If you write that word, please say that. I mean, I don't use that pejoratively, I use it defensively. Towel-heads and rednecks became the easy villains in so many movies out there."

Later, Webb's press secretary learns of this quote, and the next day Webb is calling a reporter from a fundraiser in Atlanta:

"I used the words that are used to stereotype them," he says, adding that he was using both terms "defensively." "I'm really upset if this is going to end up being the guppy that eats the whale here."

Related (kinda): From the WaPo article:

"I'm of the realist school of writing," Webb says. "You have a duty to portray things as they really are."

Really?

"Why did he kiss the little boy's penis?" wondered Dzung.

"I do not know," said Manh. And then he shook his head, amazed at Dzung's serenity.

Jim Webb: Just keepin' it real.

Related (sorta): WaPo Macaca count: 92!

 

When Idiots Collide

Man, I am screwed.

 

 

What seems to be the problem?

 

 

Taxes.

 

 

Have you considered moving to the Netherlands? Much better tax rates there, you know.

 

 

You don't understand, man - the government is coming after me for millions in back taxes. I'm in big trouble.

 

 

No problem, just file an amended return and blame it on the media.

 

 

The media?

 

 

And the Republicans.

 

 

Don't even talk to me about the media, man. Right now I'm going after the tabloids for some bullsh*t they printed about me.

 

 

I saw that story - they said you were kissing some "mystery blonde" - I thought it was true.

 

 

A lot of people did, but there's no way I'd be kissing some chick when me and Jen were still together.

 

 

They said it was a chick? I must have missed that part.

 

 

What's that supposed to mean?

 

 

Take it easy, friend, no one here's judging you.

 

 

Judging me for what?

 

 

Hey, man, what you and your partner do behind closed doors is nobody's business but yours.

 

 

Why would I be with a guy? I'm dating Jennifer Aniston!

 

 

You took the words right out of my mouth.

 

 

Two words, my friend: the Netherlands. No one there would care about your alternate lifestyle.

 

 

I don't have an alternate...

 

 

Do they have an ethics commission in the Netherlands?

 

 

Not that I know of.

 

 

Interesting.

 

 

You people are idiots - I'm out of here.

 

 

What am I going to do about my tax problem?

 

 

Why don't you just pay it back out of your campaign funds?

 

 

I don't have any campaign funds.

 

 

That's too bad - really comes in handy when you're a little short.

 

 

I'm not just a little short. I'm into the government for millions.

 

 

Maybe I can help you out. I know a little something about taxes.

 

 

Could you?

 

 

Sure. Let me get a pen and paper...

 

 

Watch your arm!

 

 

RRRRIP!

 

 

Oh-oh.

 

 

 

 

MOTHERF***ER!

 

 

That's a write-off!

 

 

Dammit! I was going to sell this!

 

 

Just say it was a clerical error.

 

 

Clerical error? Are you nuts? This painting is ruined!

 

 

Just slap a little duct tape on there, touch up the paint, they'll never know. Don't worry, we won't say anything.

 

 

Right. Like we say in the Netherlands, Mum's the word.

 

 

Oh, come on - just look at this...

 

 

Careful!

 

 

CRASH!

 

 

 

 

That's...not good.

 

 

SON OF A BI**H!

 

 

A little Super Glue and...

 

 

You don't understand - that's not even my statue, it belongs to the city of...

 

 

Excuse me, sir, I'm afraid you're going to have to come with me.

 

 

It was an accident! I didn't even...

 

 

I wasn't talking to you, sir.

 

 

It was a clerical error!

 

 

I wasn't talking to you, either, sir.

 

 

I'm following the tax codes that apply in the Nether...

 

 

I'm talking to this gentleman. Come with me, please.

 

 

Oh well - I knew this was coming.

 

 

Chin up, my friend! You know, in the Neth...

 

 

Man, just shut up about the Netherlands, already!

 

 

A bit cranky, isn't he?

 

 

So, do you really think that duct tape thing will work?

 

 

Worth a shot.

 

 

Well, let's get started. My buyer should be here in less than an hour.

 

 

Right, then. You know, in the...

 

 

Sir, we've had a few complaints, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to shut up about the Netherlands, already.

 

 

Tough town.

 

Hillary Extends An Olive Branch

I just want to offer my most sincere apology.

 

 

Even though this wasn't something I did, I feel terrible because it was someone associated with me.

 

 

I wish it hadn't happened, but it did, and I'm sorry.

 

 

You've done too much good work to be treated with such disrespect.

 

 

So, once again, I'm sorry.

 

 

...

 

 

Are you there?

 

 

 

Oh, sorry, we're having a little party and it's kind of loud here. Listen, I'd love to chat, but I've got John Kerry on the other line. Bye!

 

 

Bye!

 

 

God bless that woman.

 

 

Senator, that's Senator Lieberman on line two for you.

 

 

I'm not talking to that traitor!

 

 

I'll tell him you're in a meeting.

 

 

He's got some nerve calling me after what he's done.

 

REALITY CHECK:

 

Do these jack-boots make my butt look big?

 

Stewart’s alleged crime consists of making the views of her imprisoned client known to a Reuters journalist, in violation of unprecedented and patently unconstitutional Special Administrative Measures (SAMs) devised by the Clinton government.

 

Nobel Peace Prize Officially Surpassed In Prestige By McDonalds "Employee Of The Week" Award

Ack:

Cindy Sheehan was at BookPeople on Lamar & 6th Street signing autographs for her new book entitled "Peace Mom".
...
"What I really hope to do with it is to inspire people to do what they can to make the world a better place and to let them know that one person really can make a difference," Cindy Sheehan.

Sheehan also announced at the signing that she's a finalist for a Nobel Peace Prize.

 

"I'm just flattered that the people at Hormel would even consider me."

UPDATE: Here's "Mother Sheehan" on HuffPo, giving her opinion of other mothers who've lost sons and daughters in the war - mothers who don't share her opinion on the war.

I have been silent on the Gold Star Moms who still support this man and his war by saying that they deserve the right to their opinions because they are in as much pain as I am. I would challenge them, though, at this point to start thinking for themselves. Iraq DID NOT have WMD; Iraq WAS NOT linked to Al Qaeda and 9/11; Iraq WAS NOT a threat or danger to America. How can these moms who still support George Bush and his insane war in Iraq want more innocent blood shed just because their sons or daughters have been killed? I don't understand it. I don't understand how any mother could want another mother to feel the pain we feel. I am starting to lose a little compassion for them. I know they have been as brainwashed as the rest of America, but they know the pain and heartache and they should not wish it on another. However, I still feel their pain so acutely and pray for these "continue the murder and mayhem" moms to see the light.

Absolute moral authority for me, not thee.

 

What Could Be Funnier Than An Episode Of South Park That Makes Fun of 9/11 "Truthers"?

I'll tell you what: The "truthers" discussing the possible impact of said South Park episode on " the movement."

Micayah:

My guess is they will completely make fun of 9/11 truth movement.

Good guess, but "truther" Method feels the need to keep Micayah honest after that remark:

Question - If that happens, is it going to stop you from doing your own investigative research and spreading the truth?

Even IF thats the case, who cares? We aren't trying to win any popularity contest. Our goal is spreading truth, not becoming homecoming king/queen.

Not trying to win a popularity contest? The hell you say!

Meanwhile, 911wasaninsidejob is disappointed with South Park's creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone:

Man i used to have a lot of respect for trey and matt until now, I can see exactly where this is going, they are going to completely make fun of our entire movement and make everyone in our generation (pretty much everyone watches south park in the 10-20 age range) laugh at the "conspiracies" of 9/11...why did they do this?

Why, Trey and Matt? WHY? I mean, don't they usually take jabs at people who are already making asses out of themselves?

But wait! Ross11988, is optimistic:

Lets not get ahead of ourselves, it just said they were going to talk about lies which included 9/11.

Typical 9/11 conspiracy optimist. Meanwhile, Sureshot sees this as an opportunity to add to the ranks of reality-based conspiracy theorists:

Well anyways like I said, I think this will get more people wanting to look at these "silly" conspiracy theories only to find themselves having themselves having restless nights researching controlled demolitons.

Yeah, I can see that happening: "You know, if Cartman thinks there's something to this, maybe I should do some research."

Still, Sureshot's theory really gets fellow "truther" Skorzeny fired up:

That would be super-great if the characters in the show actually realize that 9/11 was the work of the Zionist NWO! I think it will cause people to research it for themselves. Is this Cartman character pretty well respected among his friends?

Good question! Actually, now that I think of it, that's a very stupid question. Hey, let's use that idiotic question to examine the mind of a typical "truther", shall we?

"Cartman":

Question from 9/11 konspiracy kook:

"Is he pretty well respected among his friends?"

Answer from sane person:

"..."

Answer from sane person after realizing that "truther" was actually serious:

"It's a cartoon character, you jackass!"

And, finally, TheQuest, demonstrating the "truther" belief that there's a conspiracy anywhere you look for one, thinks the whole thing might be a set-up:

Not to be a downer, we should probably bridge this one because it kinda looks silly here. Does anyone else feel the same? It's quite possible this southpark episode was made knowing we'd post it here. I say let's bridge this thread.

Looks like they've figured out our strategy: The best way to discredit these people is to get them to open their mouths in public.

H/T: Cake or Death

UPDATE: Greg from The Political Pitbull has posted the entire episode. Coincidence? I think not.

UPDATE II: Link fixed. I thought maybe the Loose Brains guys took what TheQuest said to heart and deleted the thread, but it turns out they just "consolidated" all the South Park threads. Conicidence? I think not.

UPDATE III: At the web site of noted 9-11 conspiracy asswipe Alex Jones, Aaron Dykes is "fact-checking" a cartoon. Hel-LO?

The show did not challenge any of the claims made by various members of the 9/11 truth movement (though they did present various elements in an mixed, but un clarified blanket theory which poorly represented serious points and research explored). It mentioned that steel couldn't be melted by the jet fuel fires, but connected it with blame for the Jews, allowing for a continuation of Cartman attacking Kyle and the Jewish faith.

 

Alex Jones: Just keepin' it (a cartoon, that is) real.

(H/T: Screw Loose Change)

 

OK, I'll Start

This picture is just begging for captions.

"Don't you know who I am? I work with Tracy Morgan, dammit!"

Think It's Wrong For Bloggers to "Out" People? Then Don't Read This Post

Sorry, I've tried to ignore this, but my conscience won't allow it any more. I know the person I'm about to expose won't understand this right now, but I'm doing it for his own good. I truly believe he'll be happier if he just admits who he is - publicly - but I don't think he will, so I'm going to do it for him.

If you think I'm wrong for doing this, all I can say is, it's my blog. If you don't like it, you can leave.

There's no easy way to do this, so,I'll just come right out and say it: spurwing plover is krazy kagu. Wait, maybe I should say krazy kagu is spurwing plover. Whatever.

At various times on this blog, he's gone by spurwing plover, benny bird, BIRDZILLA, and bird of paradise. It's always easy to spot him, because his, uh...his names are always bird-related. Yeah, that's it.

Anyway, K-man, er, B-Man...whatever - I know you don't believe this, but Patterico did this for your own good. Some day, you'll thank him.

RELATED: The Mrs. was hot on the trail of spurwing/benny/BIRDZILLA/BoP/kagu not long ago.

Retired Geezer reported a sighting as well.

 

Obligatory "Meanwhile, Back In the Real World" Post

Blah, blah, blah, trivial issues, blah, blah, blah distractions, blah, blah, blah, what's really important, blah, blah, blah, that's what we'll be talking about, blah, blah, blah, sticking to the issues.

OK, that's out of the way, so now I can go back to posting about whatever I want.

At least, I think that's how it works.

 

Ted Turner: Does This Head Make My Ass Look Big?

"I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords."

GMAFB:

"There are a lot of things about this war that disturbed me, and one of them was the attitude that was well expressed by our president, he said it vary clearly, he said "Either you're with us, or you're against us," and I had a problem with that, because I hadn't really made my mind up yet."

I wonder if he ever did.

UPDATE: DOH!

I just really wonder, during the last, uh, war...you know, what business did it have of the news sets to have the American flag flying in the background?

Sons of BITCHES! American flags? That's outrageous!

 

The "Dennis Hastert Hangs Tough" Victory Dance...(by Mrs. R.)

 

 

Could You Repeat That Question?...(by Mrs. R.)

 

I'm sorry about what happened, but I was completely unaware of Mr. Foley's disgusting behavior until last Friday, when I was shown the IMs between Mr. Foley and a former page.

 

 

Anyone have any questions?

 

 

 

Speaker Hastert, it's been reported that a former Republican congressional aide told members of your staff about Foley back in 2003...

 

 

 

Are you saying that your staff members failed to tell you about Mr. Foley?

 

 

 

What?

 

Is There an Expiration Date on Dennis Hastert's Resignation?...(by Mrs. R.)

Yes, and in order for Dennis Hastert's resignation to effectively counter public perception that Republican leadership may be just as amoral, corrupt, and/or incompetent as Democratic leadership, and in order for Mr. Hastert's resignation to appear sincere vs. forced, such resignation must be proffered by...

Oops...Never mind.

Just Because They Can?

Is that why the blog "Passionate America" plastered the name, IM address, MySpace profile and multiple photos of someone they claim is a page who took part in IM conversations with Mark Foley?

I read the post, and there's plenty of information about how they discovered this person's identity, but no explanation as to why they exposed him - in the second sentence of the post, the author says "I will explain to you why I believe it necessary to reveal Jordan Edmund's identity," but never does.

I'm with Greg at Political Pit Bull:

This was beyond irresponsible. As bloggers, we are beholden only to ourselves and our judgment. For most blogs, it's up one person, and one person alone, to use his or her common sense to deem what is and what is not appropriate to share with the world. This exposure of a victim's identity obviously falls into the latter category.

I agree. And while I don't generally consider Raw Story to be a reliable source, they claim the wrong person was outed.

UPDATE: Michelle nails it:

For the past two days, a conservative blogger has ginned up publicity for his work outing a 21-year-old young man--a former congressional page and current deputy campaign manager for a heartland Republican congressman--who received sexually explicit instant messages from disgraced Florida GOP Rep. Mark Foley when he was 17 and 18 years old. I have received several e-mails from the blogger and readers flogging the post.

I refused to link to the blogger then and even though the Drudge Report has plastered screaming headlines about the blogger's scoop, I refuse to link to it now. There was absolutely no good reason to expose the former congressional page's name and identity. Seizing on ABC News' redaction failure and reporting errors (more on that in a moment) to play gotcha in a feeble attempt to avenge Foley is not a sufficient reason to obliterate the young man's privacy. The young man was the prey, not the predator.

UPDATE II: The Hill reports:

The source who in July gave news media Rep. Mark Foley’s (R-Fla.) suspect e-mails to a former House page says the documents came to him from a House GOP aide. ... The source bolstered the claim by sharing un-redacted e-mails in which the former page first alerted his congressional sponsor’s office of Foley’s attentions. The copies of these e-mails, now available to the public, have the names of senders and recipients blotted out.

So much for the VLWC.

UPDATE III: What were these guys thinking? (via La Shawn Barber)

 

The Advantages of Winning Less-Than-Admirable Battles but Losing the War...(by Mrs. R.)

 

 

Honey Bunches of Nancys...(by Mrs. R.)

 

EEEEEEK!!!

 

 

SOMEBODY!!! ...HELP!!!

 

 

SOME OUR FELLOW REPUBLICANS ARE TRYING TO THROW DENNIS HASTERT UNDER THE BUS!!!

 

 

SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!!! PLEASE!!! STOP THEM!!! NOW!!!

 

 

Sorry, ladies, but it's gotta be done.

 

 

Otherwise it'll be a slow death by a thousand tiny little buses.

 

 

And not just for Hastert, but for conservatives everywhere.

 

 

 

WE DON'T CARE!!! JUST DON'T HURT SPEAKER HASTERT!!! PLEASE, WE BEG OF YOU!!!

 

 

Maybe it would be best if you ladies turned your head, or go inside and bake some cupcakes.

 

 

I'll let you know when when it's all over.

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Jeopardy, With Bill Frist

Welcome back to Jeopardy, I'm Alex Trebek.

 

 

Bill Frist is attempting a comeback and has control of the board - Bill?

 

 

I'll take political parties for $1,200, Alex.

 

 

I had a sneaking suspicion that would be your choice.

 

 

Really, why?

 

 

Well, because you...never mind, let's look at the clue.

 

 

They counted several war heroes among their ranks, believed in the supremacy of Congress over the Executive Branch and favored a program of modernization and economic development.

 

 

Bill!

 

 

The Taliban!

 

 

No, sorry, the answer is the Whig Party.

 

 

The Whig Party.

 

 

Right, the Whig Party. That's what I said.

 

 

No, that's not what you said.

 

 

I'm pretty sure it is.

 

 

I'm afraid not. You said the Taliban.

 

 

That doesn't sound like something I'd say, Alex. I think you might be misquoting me.

 

 

I'm not misquoting you - you said Taliban.

 

 

Why would I say that? The Taliban is a murderous band of terrorists who...

 

 

I don't know why you would say that - I don't think anyone does.

 

 

Alex, I really think this is unfair of you...

 

 

Look, I don't have time to argue with you, so I'm going to show you the video of your answer. Can we show that clip, guys?

 

 

The Taliban!

 

 

There! Are you satisfied now?

 

 

You're distorting what I said, Alex.

 

 

I'm not distorting anything.

 

 

Well then, you're taking my remarks out of context.

 

 

How could I possibly...never mind. Look you didn't answer in the form of a question, anyway, so let's just move on.

 

 

Alex, if you'll just look at that clip again, I think you'll see that I accentuated the last syllable of Taliban, just as I would if I were asking a question.

 

 

It doesn't matter, because...

 

 

Talibaaaan?

 

 

The answer was Whig Party! I don't care how you said it, your answer was wrong! WRONG!

 

 

Now we're out of time. I want to apologize to our other contestants and out viewers, we'll...

 

 

Whi-iiiig?

 

 

We'll be back tomorrow.

Why would anyone doubt The FristMeister?

Man, those Whigs are real bastards.

 

I Think It's Going to Be All Downhill From Here...(by Mrs. R.)

Just four days into the Foley scandal and the right has blown another tire.

(I'm not crazy about linking liberal blogs, but they've got the goods).

These statements from Matt Drudge (posted at Firedog Lake) are so very disturbing, and on so many levels. (Audio clips here).

Clip #1: And if anything, these kids are less innocent — these 16 and 17 year-old beasts…and I've seen what they're doing on YouTube and I've seen what they're doing all over the internet — oh yeah — you just have to tune into any part of their pop culture. You're not going to tell me these are innocent babies. Have you read the transcripts that ABC posted going into the weekend of these instant messages, back and forth? The kids are egging the Congressman on! The kids are trying to get this out of him. We haven't got the whole story on this. Clip #2: You could say "well Drudge, it's abuse of power, a congressman abusing these impressionable, young 17 year-old beasts, talking about their sex lives with a grown man, on the Internet" Because you have to remember, those of us who have seen some of the transcripts of these nasty instant messages. This was two ways, ladies and gentlemen. These kids were playing Foley for everything he was worth. Oh yeah. Oh, I haven't…they were talking about how many times they'd masturbated, how many times they'd done it with their girlfriends this weekend…all these things and these "innocent children." And this "poor" congressman sitting there typing, "oh am I going to get any," you know?

If Mr. Drudge's stated position on this is anywhere near where Republicans are mooring, I'm setting sail.

Now Is Never a Good Time to Start Thinking Like Democrats...(by Mrs. R.)

The debate amongst some conservatives re Speaker Hastert's culpability in the Foley mess seems to be based on the false premise that Mr. Hastert's resignation spells the end of the GOP as we know it - which, in turn, triggers apocalypse.

Where did that logic come from? DailyKos or ThinkProgress? Because they're making the same argument. The only difference is that in their version, the demise of the GOP activates harmonic convergence.

If warranted, how does a little house cleaning hurt Republicans? Would it be better if House Republicans just wade around in the muck for a few months?

It's been suggested that Republicans hang tough behind their scandals the way Democrats do. Why? Because Democrats get away with it, so the argument goes.

Yes, Democrats get away with a lot of stuff that Republicans can't - if you call that getting away with stuff. Let's keep in mind that Democrats have lost three national elections in a row, and keep our aspirations in check.

Maybe American voters expect a little more from Republicans. If they do, that's a good thing.

UPDATE: Too late...Republicans are acting like Democrats (see post above), digging in their heels just like Clinton & friends did. Sure, Clinton survived, but Dems have been paying for it ever since. No lessons learned here.

Political Sex Scandals & More Important Things:...(by Mrs. R.)

Some people are really turned off by Political Sex Scandals. They'd rather the public focus its attention on More Important Things, like National Security or the War in Iraq.

Who wouldn't? But consider this:

Some people are really turned on by Political Sex Scandals; most notably, the Elected Officials involved in Political Sex Scandals. Shouldn't they be the ones focusing their attention on More Important Things?

Aren't Elected Officials involved in Political Sex Scandals, themselves, a National Security threat, especially if they serve on the House Intelligence Committee, as former U.S representative Gary Condit did?

(For the record, the disappearance of Washington intern Chandra Levy is what led to the revelation Mr. Condit's Political Sex Scandal. Ms. Levy's murder, seemingly forgotten, has revealed nothing).

If an Elected Official with access to sensitive classified material is willing to lie under oath, or obstruct law enforcement investigations/judicial inquiry in a effort to keep the lid on a Political Sex Scandal, can we trust this Elected Official to withstand the pressures of a blackmailer's threats? And is that a gamble anyone wants to take?

Like it or not, Political Sex Scandals often involve and/or affect More Important Things.

Look! A Republican Sex Scandal!

It sure doesn't take much to redirect the expressed concerns of Democrats, their political operatives, and members of the press away from the War in Iraq and point them in the direction of a Republican Political Sex Scandal. What they don't seem to realize is that this easy shift of anguish suggests their expressed concerns are politically motivated rather than heartfelt.

Anyway, I, for one, would just as soon enlist the aid of Democrats, their political operatives, and members of the press in efforts to rid Congress of Political Sex Scandals. Everyone benefits. And in the meantime, all three will have less time to undermine the Global War on Terror, the war in Iraq, and the Bush administration's efforts to fight both.

Should, however, the investigation into Mark Foley's Political Sex Scandal widen to include Democrats, their political operatives, and/or members of the press, look for all three to beg relief from the public's obsession with Political Sex Scandals, accompanied by their pleas that we all focus our attention on More Important Things, like National Security or the War in Iraq.

Remove from Cart...(by Mrs. R.)

 

 

Anyone Who Didn't Step Up Needs to Step Down...(by Mrs. R.)

Mark Foley is a sexual predator who aggressively sought sexual interaction with at least one teenage boy; an underage minor who was still in high school and living with his parents.

Imagine a 52-year-old man entering your home without your knowledge. Imagine this man entering the upstairs bedroom of your teenage son while you are downstairs in the kitchen. Imagine the man using sexually explicit language to arouse your son for the purpose of arousing and gratifying himself.

That is essentially what Mark Foley did. It is what all pedophiles do when they use the Internet to gain access to their victims in the sanctity of their own home.

That's why House Speaker Dennis Hastert, majority leader John Boehner, Louisiana Congressman Rodney Alexander, and National Republican Congressional Committee Chairman Thomas Reynolds need to make it painfully clear who knew what when and what they did, or did not do, to unseat Rep. Mark Foley once they learned he was trolling the halls of Congress for underage male pages.

From all indications, they did not do enough. And it doesn't appear this news on this is going to get any better.

While some will certainly question the timing and motives of Democrats who are demanding a who-knew-what-when investigation of Rep. Foley's unseemly relationship with congressional page, Democrats should not be faulted for doing so, despite of how disingenuous their expressed concerns may be.

The consequences of such an inquiry are something Republican leaders in the House should have considered when they chose to keep Mr. Foley's predatory behaviors a state secret.

UPDATE: The Senate Gets in on the Act

According to this just published Reuter's story:

Senate minority leader Harry Reid is now calling for the Attorney General to launch a "full-blown" investigation of Rep. Foley and Republican leaders.

Good. Let's investigate everybody in Congress who may have known about Foley and deal with them accordingly, even if some of them may be Democrats.

There's no way that Democrats can be certain that all of their asses are covered, so let's see what emerges.

Piggyback Pork in Disabled Veterans' Clothing...(by Mrs. R.)

I'd rather be ragging on Democrats, but it looks like another Republican could use a trip to the woodshed.

Instead of beating Nancy Pelosi to the podium in order to demand an investigation into Rep. Mark Foley's despicable behavior and betrayal of public trust, Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.) had better things to do on Friday.

It seems Rep. Hunter, who is also the chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, was too busy serving the financial interests of Vail and Vickers Ltd., a private company that operates a big-game hunting enterprise (charging up to $17,000 a hunt) on an island in the Channel Islands National Park, which is located off the California coast just south of Santa Barbara.

Under a previous settlement the company was to halt its operation on the island by 2011.

Rep. Hunter, however, succeeded in inserting a provision into an important defense bill which will allow Vail and Vickers Ltd. to continue its for-profit hunts on the island indefinitely.

How did Rep. Hunter manage to sneak this unrelated provision into a bill that sets the guidelines for military spending, a bill which was passed by a 398 to 23 vote in the House?

According to this Washington Post article:

Hunter's language, which he said would allow disabled veterans to hunt on Santa Rosa, bars the interior secretary from removing or "exterminating" the deer and elk on the island. Hunter said in debate that veterans "don't have to pay any money" to hunt the remaining animals.

Not only did Rep. Hunter use disabled veterans to qualify the provision's insertion into a military spending bill, it appears he exploited our nation's finest to serve the interests of Vail and Vickers Ltd. (which, one assumes, somehow serves the interests of Rep. Hunter).

Adding insult to injury, Hunter throws crumbs to our military heroes by stipulating they "don't have to pay any money" to shoot the rich folks' leftovers.

Somebody stop me. This is twisted on so many levels.