Terrorists and Totalitarian Health Care Professionals, Please Line Up on This Side of the Courtroom...(by Mrs. R.)
The Seriously Ill and Severely Disabled, Please Line Up on the Other Side of the Courtroom, Next to the Mafia Guys...
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Judge, I need your okay to wiretap any overseas
phone calls made by this man.
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Where's the documentary evidence to justify such
a request?
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We're working on it, your honor. We should
have it to you by the end of the week.
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Well then, I guess you'll get your authorization
at the end of the week...
Assuming, of course, the evidence against this gentleman is incontrovertible. |
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But, judge, this guy is leaving for Pakistan
on Thursday.
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Director, this court is not going to violate
the constitutional rights of a foreign national by authorizing wiretaps
on his overseas phone calls based on mere hearsay.
At least not while I'm on the bench... |
Next case...
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Hey, judge, I was wondering if you could give
me the thumbs up to starve my severely disabled wife to death so I can
marry the mother of my two children...
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By the way, do I need any documentary evidence
stating that this is what my wife would have wanted me to do under the
circumstances?
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Nah.
Your word is good here. Thumbs-up request granted. Good luck to you, sir... |
Next case...
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Judge, would you please force
my 16-year-old cancer patient to take the poison I have prescribed
for him?
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For what purpose have you prescribed this poison?
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If he doesn't take it, he could die.
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What, if I may ask, is the success rate of your
poison therapy?
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Not great, you honor.
Many cancer patients do not survive more than three or four months once they start the treatment... |
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Peter Jennings and Dana Reeve are just two examples
that come to mind.
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A few, however, do survive a lot longer...
Which some believe is in spite of the poison therapy. |
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So, I take it this young man is being belligerent.
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Extremely so. Perhaps because he had such
an unpleasant experience during his first series of poison treatments.
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That's too damn bad...
I hereby order that you start poisoning the boy immediately! |
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Oh, and one other thing, your honor, could
you do something about the boy's parents?
They have been most uncooperative throughout this entire process. |
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Certainly, doctor.
Bailiff, see to it that the boy's parents are pilloried in the town square and made a proper spectacle of. |
Next case...
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Your honor, since you denied Director Mueller's request to authorize
wiretaps on foreign nationals with suspected terrorist ties...
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A request unsubstantiated by any evidence of
wrongdoing...
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I submit that any court-ordered wiretaps
of my phone conversations...
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Based solely on rumor and innuendo, is a violation
of my constitutional rights.
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Rights which I, as a veteran who served this
country in World War II, take very seriously.
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Boo-hoo, Mr. Corleo-nee!
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Excuse me, your honor?
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Do you have any idea how powerful I've become
since the feds got you guys off my back? I'm accountable to no one...not
even you!
Now get the hell out of my courtroom! |
Outside the courtroom...
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Excuse me, Mr. Corleone, as one veteran to
another, you think you could help me find out what this guy is up to?
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Where's the documentary evidence to justify such
a request?
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Well, uh...
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Lighten up, Bob...That was a joke.
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- posted by Mrs. R.
Bloody Brilliant!!
Posted by: jtb-in-texas | July 24, 2006 at 11:18 AM
Bring back Judge Smails! He wouldn't have any trouble locking up the jihadi. Not sure where he'd settle elsewhere, but 1 out of 4 would still be an improvement.
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel | July 24, 2006 at 12:40 PM
Thanks, AD, I had to google Judge Smails.
Posted by: Mrs. R. | July 24, 2006 at 03:26 PM
A splendid dose of judicial tyranny, and we taught that we were governed by elected officials. How could we be so silly?
Posted by: docdave | July 24, 2006 at 06:51 PM
docdave,
The problem is, voters at the ballot box rarely associate a candidate with the judges they've appointed. So no one ends up suffering the consequences for less-than-stellar appointments.
We're always being warned about what would happen if judges were elected vs. appointed. "OMG, the sky would fall."
At this point, I'd welcome a hand-shaking, potato-salad eating, baby-kissing judiciary over a king-on-the-throne judiciary.
Posted by: Mrs. R. | July 25, 2006 at 08:03 AM