He Said/He Said (UPDATED - AGAIN!)

What's up, homesock?

How's it hangin'?

Hey, did you hear what Glenn Greenwald...

Jealous, much?

It's Glenn Greenwald!

That's right. I've written a New York Times bestselling book on executive authority, broken a story on my blog about wiretapping that led to front-page stories on most major newspapers in the country, and Russ Feingold read from my blog during the Censure hearings.

Don't you think it's a little unseemly to be bragging about yourself?

No. I mean, maybe. I have to go, I have some very important, uh, constitutional-type stuff to do.

Good DAY, sir.

Can you believe that guy?

What a tool. So anyway, me and the Mrs. are thinking about seeing that pirate movie this weekend.

Yeah, I hear it's pretty good, you know, as pirate movies go.

How DARE you criticize Glenn Greenwald!

I wasn't talking about...Oh, brother.

For your information, Mr. Greenwald has written a New York Times bestselling book on executive authority, broken a story on his blog about wiretapping that led to front-page stories on most major newspapers in the country, and Russ Feingold read from my blog...

Don't you mean his blog?

Right, right - Russ Feingold read from his blog during the Censure hearings.

Yeah, seems like I heard that somewhere before.

Good DAY, sir!

Did that guy look familiar to you?

Of course he did, you moron, that was...

I guess it's up to me to set you straight about Glenn Green...

Knock it off, already. We know it's you.

He looks just like that guy who was just here.

I'm sure I don't know who you're talking about. Besides, our moustaches are completely different.

This is just embarrassing.

You are aware that Mr. Greenwald has written a New York Times bestselling book on executive...

We know, we know. Listen, why don't you just tell "Mr. Greenwald"...

Well, I've never met the man personally, but I did recently e-mail him, and this is the reply I received:

Dear person I've never met personally: Thanks for your note. As a matter of fact I did write a New York Times bestselling book on executive authority, and I am indeed the person who broke a story on his blog about wiretapping that led...

Yeah, yeah, we get the idea. Listen, why don't you just quit while you're ahead. You're really making an ass out of yourself.

I have no idea what you're talking about, but I will not stand here and be insulted. Good DAY, sir.

You think he's related to that other guy?

I swear, you can be such an idiot. Look, Glenn Greenwald is obviously...

Are you obsessed with me?

Hey, now that I think of it, he looks kind of like...

What is that you're carrying?

What? Oh...this...well, uh...people do share moustaches, you know.

He's right, you know. I read that at Wizbang!

So I live in Brazil and may or may not share a moustache with one or more people - what does that prove?

WTF are you talking about? I never even mentioned...

I don't even know why I'm talking to you - you're not published. Good DAY, sir.

That guy's got issues.

Did someone mention Glenn Greenwald?

Serious issues.
UPDATE: VIDEO!
UPDATE II:

Where are all the real conservatives?
UPDATE III: I don't care who you are, that right there is funny. (BTW, I agree with at least one of these people(?))















I love you John! I mean that in a manly, Viking kind of way of course.
Posted by: Kingslasher | July 23, 2006 at 05:13 AM
Nice glenn of sock puppets. It's been decided that the collective noun for sock puppets is glenn.
Posted by: Dale | July 23, 2006 at 05:47 AM
This is certainly the most authorative round up of the subject yet.
Posted by: Sortelli | July 23, 2006 at 05:58 AM
Well that certainly clarifies things. I heard he wrote a book.
Posted by: Jane | July 23, 2006 at 08:29 AM
Very enjoyable. I like Dale's suggestion, a "glenn of sock puppets". LMAO!!
Posted by: Skul | July 23, 2006 at 09:21 AM
John,
You. Ruthless. B*st*rd.
LOL. I think it's safe to get off the floor now.
This authoritative review deserves consideration for the NYT front page. Well, in the opinion pages assuredly. The only thing missing, from an editorial POV, is IP spoofing/packet-header forgeing and associated grasping at straws. Maybe in installment two.
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel | July 23, 2006 at 09:30 AM
Tthat is TEH funniest thing I've seen in a long, long time. I hope that when people ask for an explanation of the Great Greenwald Kerfuffle this will be made available in a hyperlink-annotated edition.
Posted by: Dan Collins | July 23, 2006 at 10:10 AM
Nice work, as usual! Talent on loan from God I dare say.
Posted by: Laddy | July 23, 2006 at 10:16 AM
"Well, I've never met the man personally, but I did recently e-mail him, and this is the reply I received:
"Dear person I've never met personally: Thanks for your note."
Genius.
Posted by: Patterico | July 23, 2006 at 10:17 AM
Oh. My. God.
The blogwar is over. In a stunning upset, Wuzzadem wins.
And gales of laughter rang throughout the peaceful valley forevermore...
Posted by: Pablo | July 23, 2006 at 10:25 AM
Poor Glenn, he got Hiltziked out in the middle of nowhere.
Posted by: Kingpin | July 23, 2006 at 10:49 AM
What a riot. Excellent post.
Posted by: DRJ | July 23, 2006 at 11:13 AM
Bravo.
Standing O.
Posted by: Darleen | July 23, 2006 at 11:29 AM
Hogwash! Good day, sir!
Posted by: Glenn G. | July 23, 2006 at 12:04 PM
Someone ought to tell Greenwald not to share moustaches with "other" people. It's not very sanitary.
Posted by: Sean M. | July 23, 2006 at 12:57 PM
Five stars. Excellent.
Posted by: Gotta Know | July 23, 2006 at 01:06 PM
Please, please note that you've updated this great post.
Posted by: mh | July 23, 2006 at 02:14 PM
Funny stuff. Incidentally, anyone else wonder how many tens of thousands of copies of Greenwald's "best-selling" book are sitting in George Soros' garage?
Posted by: Jim in Chicago | July 23, 2006 at 03:35 PM
He's authored Soros on Soros: Staying Ahead of the Curve, accumulated enough wealth to be one of the richest men in America, been a major political financier for years, and encouraged a liberal philosophy for the masses at numerous, private functions, and I'll thank you not to besmirch Mr. Soros, a great European-American. Good DAY, sir.
Posted by: AnonymousSorosDrivel, III | July 23, 2006 at 05:27 PM
That was great! Very funny.
Posted by: drolmorg | July 23, 2006 at 05:58 PM
LOL...I loved the ray charles puppet with the banjo. That was a great post it kept me on the edge of my seat. :)
Posted by: MrsJoseGoldbloom | July 23, 2006 at 06:19 PM
Very funny.
Posted by: addison | July 23, 2006 at 07:03 PM
EGGS-Cellent!
Next time, maybe we can cooperate... give a listen to the MP3s posted at Brain Surgery With Spoons dot blogspot dot com
"Home Improvement Around Glenn's Place"
and
"I Am NOT A Sock-Puppet, Are We?"
Verging on hilarious!
Posted by: Karridine | July 23, 2006 at 07:15 PM
How do we know that you're not #33 liontooth?
;^)
Posted by: andycanuck | July 23, 2006 at 08:04 PM
That Ace, he's some funny guy. It's too bad he never reads anyone's blog.
BTW, I'm commenting from a Starbucks hotspot, so just don't bother with the IP thingee this time, OK?
Posted by: Space of Aids | July 23, 2006 at 08:25 PM
How do we know that you're not #33 liontooth?
;^)
OK, now I get it. I scrolled through the comments here a couple of times, scratching my head. 8-)
Posted by: John from WuzzaDem | July 23, 2006 at 08:32 PM
That was just damn funny. - Lorica
Posted by: Lorica | July 23, 2006 at 08:51 PM
Well, you know, it COULD be that Glenn was only holding that fake moustache because one of the others gave it to him. You don't actually have PROOF that it was him the whole time, because it's possible he has a bevy of identical friends sticking up for him, who all have a thing about wearing fake moustaches.
Seriously, people. BE REASONABLE ABOUT THIS.
Posted by: Sortelli | July 23, 2006 at 10:19 PM
The thread was hilarious, adding the Update II made it priceless. You are a fricking genius! I've laughed out loud between 15 to 20 times now.
How do we know that you're not #33 liontooth?
;^)
Who's liontooth? Got to go, time for my meds, or is it my brazillian friend, or am I a lion or a brazillian?
;)
BTW, sorry I didn't make it clear in the other thread to SCROLL DOWN FOR THE UPDATE.
Posted by: liontooth | July 23, 2006 at 10:43 PM
Such clarity. Thank you, John.
Long may you serve the blog kingdom.
Posted by: Good Lt | July 23, 2006 at 11:23 PM