Jesse MacBeth: On The Job
What's the problem...officer?
We'll get to that in a minute, sir, but first I have to tell you that I'll be adding a charge of nonpulloveration.
Charge of what?
You failed to pull over, sir. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't executed the pullovering maneuver.
What maneuver? I didn't hear any siren, I just parked here because this is my condo complex.
Are you telling me you didn't see the red light behind you?
I thought that was some kind of gag. That doesn't look like any police vehicle I've ever seen.
I'm part of an elite squad, sir. That's a special issue patrol vehicle.
Is that a civil war medal on your, uh...uniform?
That's right. I spent 5 years in Grenada Bay, I was there during the Tet Offensive.
OK...um...What do you want?
I'm going to have to cite you for violating the 22nd amendment.
The 22nd amendment to the Constitution?
I guess.
That doesn't make any sense.
Sir, if you insist on causing trouble I'll have to cite you for excessive argumentation, and I'm pretty sure that's a fellatio.
I think you mean felony, don't you?
I don't need a civilian to tell me how to do my job. I'm going to give you this ticket, just follow the instructions.
What is this?
Sorry, wrong ticket. I meant to give you this.
But, this is...
Am I going to have to use my laser gun, sir?
I think you mean tas...Never mind. I'll take care of this...ticket right away.
Move out, sir!
*Sigh* Civilians.
UPDATE: AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! (Thanks to AnonymousDrivel)
You mean that Jesse MacBeth is going to give that motorist a fellatio? It's that some form of police brutality? Jesse's hands are as cold as ice.
Posted by: TT | May 25, 2006 at 12:29 AM
You and Iowahawk should tour.
I'd pay a deception (☺US) or two for that.
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel | May 25, 2006 at 02:34 AM
I'd pay full ticket price for an Iowahawk/Wuzzadem show. I don't know what they'd actually do, but I'd pay for the good seats.
Posted by: Preston Taylor Holmes | May 25, 2006 at 05:55 AM
lolol...Barney Fife had nothing on him.
Posted by: dragonlady474 | May 25, 2006 at 07:14 AM
This is extremely humoratious.
Posted by: KM | May 25, 2006 at 10:10 AM
Nice!
Posted by: Good Lt | May 25, 2006 at 11:17 AM
Fellatio is illegal?!?!?!
Posted by: MrsJoseGoldbloom | May 25, 2006 at 12:04 PM
I rather liked the jack o'lantern emblem on his hat.
-cs™
Posted by: Smitty | May 25, 2006 at 09:37 PM
RE: PTH (May 25, 2006 8:55:17 AM)
...I don't know what they'd actually do, but I'd pay for the good seats.
It would have to be kinda like those "performing artists" thingies. You know, live blogging. I have to think that a thingy live-blogged would be something worth seeing.
And just to preempt Dodger, some say:
El tren es grande.
Or so I've heard. Maybe they could provide subtitles.
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel | May 26, 2006 at 01:01 AM
You only f-f-f-ffforgot his s-s-s-s-ssstuter.
Hilarious stuff.
Posted by: Jeremy | May 26, 2006 at 01:42 PM
Could you do the Senate offers Social Security benefits to all spanish speaking people with any trace of native American blood lines skit ? Also, a purple heart and honorary degree ?
Posted by: Amador | May 26, 2006 at 07:06 PM
Hilarious!
Posted by: Clark | May 27, 2006 at 09:28 AM
I must've read this thing five times already. That special issue patrol vehicle cracks me every time.
Posted by: Tuning Spork | May 29, 2006 at 05:40 PM
John, you are a fuckin' comedic genius! This is pretty much the FUNNIEST one I've seen so far. You da man.
Posted by: Skizz | May 31, 2006 at 02:45 PM