Joe "Macho Man" Wilson Swaggers Into The Local Starbucks

Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?

 

 

Just give me a coffee - biggest you've got.

 

 

Sure. What kind of coffee would you like, sir?

 

 

I don't care, just give me something really butch.

 

 

I don't understand.

 

 

What are you trying to say? Are you saying I have a lisp??

 

 

No, I wasn't saying...

 

 

Because I don't!

 

 

I didn't mean...

 

 

Don't let the impeccably coiffed hair and perfectly dimpled tie fool you - I'm all man.

 

 

I'm sure you are, sir, and I apologize if...

 

 

I mean, my outfit may be color coordinated, and maybe I do own more shoes than most men...

 

 

Nothing wrong with that.

 

 

Damned straight there's not. And who doesn't enjoy the occasional cup of sweet tea while they're listening to Barbra Streisand's greatest hits?

 

 

I, uhh...I don't know.

 

 

I like women!

 

 

I'm sure you do, sir.

 

 

I don't mean I like them just as friends, either, if you know what I mean.

 

 

Yes, sir.

 

 

You do know what I mean, don't you?

 

 

Yes, I know what you mean.

 

 

I mean I like to have sexual intercourse with them.

 

 

I got that, sir.

 

 

So do you have sweet tea here?

 

 

Yes, we do.

 

 

Great. Give me just a teensy cup.

 

 

Coming up.

 

 

Make it with Sweet n' Low - trying to watch my figure.

 

 

That'll be $1.79, please.

 

 

Here you go, and keep the change. Toodles!

Jeez
H/T: Ace

 

Comments

[AnonymousDrivel]

Joe Wilson, Joe Wilson, hmm, Joe... Wilson. Doesn't really ring a bell. Oh, wait. Isn't he one of those "illusions of grandeur" gals with self-inflated perceptions?

Come to think of it, I believe I heard a similar conversation at the shoe store. This bloke wanted open-toe sandals that wouldn't cover his designer nails. Mumbled something about enjoying the feel of air as he carted around with the top of his supercharged convertible down. Probably wasn't him, but it reminded me nonetheless.

[tommy]

I was with him right up to Streisand.

OK maybe not. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

[Amador]

He was a baseball player back in the 70s. Or was that Mookie Wilson ?

[tee bee]

Joe's probably upset that the kid didn't flinch at his macho aura of testosterone.

[benny bird]

Real men dont eat garden burgers or ride pink bicycles and dont eat granola bars

[Michael]

Dammit! I make a point of dimpling my tie. Now I'm going to be all self-conscious about it.

[Smitty]

Joe Wilson or a young David Hemmings?

You make the call!

-cs™

[Kiki B.]

Dimpling your tie? Sounds kinky.

[billthemarine]

puckering your tie would be kinky.