The Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame "Solitude" Tour

Week 1:

We're back with Ambassador Joseph Wilson, who's giving the Bush administration a piece of his mind!

 

 

That's right Oprah. These disgusting, vile criminals, who lied to this country and illegally invaded a sovereign nation, need to be taken out, and I'm going to be speaking out against them every chance I get.

 

 

WHOOOO!

 

 

Now, when you say "taken out", you mean politically, of course.

 

 

I mean taken out. I think we should drive a stake through the heart of every neoconservative, if that's what it takes.

 

 

WHOOOO!

 

 

They're gonna come after you, Joe.

 

 

They'd better not, because I've already said I want to be left alone.

 

 

You heard the man: Leave him alone!

 

 

WHOOOO!

 

 

Looks like the ladies like you, Joe.

 

 

I like the ladies!

 

 

WHOOOO!

 

 

The man likes his women!

 

 

WHOOOO!

 

 

That's right, Oprah. I'm not some limp-wrist fairy like Ken Mehlman or David Dreier - I really like women.

 

 

WHOooo...?

 

 

We'll...uh...be right back.

 

 

Week 3:

 

 

All right, calm down, everyone. You'll all have a chance to leave me alone; there's plenty of Joe to go around.

 

 

Valerie, who are you wearing?

 

 

Oscar de la Renta - the design just screams "Leave me alone!"

 

 

Week 5:

 

 

Yo, Georgie!

 

 

Hey, Joe. You give 'em hell, buddy!

 

 

You know I will!

 

 

And they'd better leave me alone when I do!

 

 

Week 8:

 

 

So, in 2002 you were sent to Niger.

 

 

Right, I was basically sent by my wife.

 

 

You mean Vice President Cheney, right?

 

 

I'm not married to Dick Cheney!

 

 

No, I mean...

 

 

Who do you think I am - Ken Mehlman?

 

 

It's just that you've said in the past that you were sent because the Vice President wanted to know....

 

 

Oh, right, right...the Vice President. I was just confused for a second, because...because...

 

 

We can just edit that out.

 

 

Oh, thanks.

 

 

No problem - we do it all the time.

 

Week 11:

 

...so, rather than addressing the facts - including the fact that George Bush lied in his State of the Union Speech, they're resorting to personal attacks.

 

 

Let's take some calls for Ambassador Joe Wilson - CINCINNATI!

 

 

Hi, Larry, I was wondering why Mr. Wilson keeps saying his critics are lying when his own report indicated that Iraq had in fact tried to purchase uranium from the government of Niger.

 

 

Well, Larry, if that caller would have had the guts to stay on the line I would have told him to stop watching Fox News and get the facts, because...

 

 

I'm still here.

 

 

Oh.

 

 

And I didn't get my information from Fox News - I read the Senate Intelligence Committee report that said what you told the CIA was exactly what the President said in those "sixteen words" in his State of the Union address.

 

 

Right...the...uhhh...Let's take another call, Larry.

 

 

WALLA WALLA, you're on with Ambassador Joe Wilson.

 

 

Yeah, Larry, I want to know where I can get a copy of the report that guy was talking about.

 

 

Can't you people just leave me alone??

 

 

Week 13:

 

And now I'd be glad to answer your questions, but please keep it brief so that everyone has a chance.

 

 

...

 

 

Any questions at all.

 

 

...

 

 

Right. So, I guess that's...Yes, what's your question?

 

 

Do you validate parking?

 

 

Week 14:

 

Angelina! Hey, Angelina!

 

 

 

 

Angelina! It's me - Joe Wilson!

 

 

 

 

She must be in a hurry.

 

 

Week 16:

 

Welcome back to Car Talk With Buddy Budsen, I'm here with Joey Wilson. Joey, my producer tells me you drive an AMC Ambassador, is it hard to find parts for those?

 

 

It's Joseph Wilson, and I don't drive an Ambassador, I am an Ambassador.

 

 

Glad to hear it. So, what kind of mileage do you get on the highway?

 

Week 18:

 

Yo, Georgie!

 

 

 

 

Over here, George!

 

 

 

 

I'll give him a call later.

 

Week 21:

 

We'll take your calls for Robert Kennedy Jr. now - WASHINGTON, DC!

 

 

Larry, it's Joe Wilson. Sorry to call you like this, but I guess you haven't gotten my messages, so...

 

 

Sorry, folks, looks like we lost that call...

 

 

I'm still here, Larry. I just wanted to let you know I'm available to...

 

 

Did we lose him yet? OK. Sorry, looks like we lost that call. DETROIT!

 

Week 24:

 

Let's take some calls here on Car Talk. Looks like we've got Joe calling from Washington, DC. What's on your mind, Joe?

 

 

Buddy, it's Joe Wilson. Remember me?

 

 

Can't say as I do.

 

 

I was on the show not long ago.

 

 

We have a lot of people on the show, Joe.

 

 

I'm the...uhh...the guy who drives the Ambassador. I was just wondering if I could come back on and...

 

 

Hey, thanks for checking in, Joe. Let's go to Marty in Indianapolis.

 

Week 26:

 

Well, at least they're leaving us alone now.

 

 

Yeah, that's really...great.

 

 

Yeah...great.

 

Comments

[AnonymousDrivel]

If only Joe had sympathizers to spread his story, he wouldn't be in such a morass. Poor guy. Someone should give this patriot a break. I mean, what's he gots ta' do to get respect?!

[Splashman]

I'd suggest he go pro with that whistling-belly-button trick.

[Mike D in SC]

It's my pet peeve, but I was born there, so please indulge me:

It's CinciNNaTi, not CinciNaTTi.

[Brian]

Joe can go join fellow has-been sob-sister Cindi Sheehan down in Crawford Texas.

Hope it's 115 degrees.

[hunter]

This skewer of your is so friggin' sharp and durable.
keep up the good work. There are so many dems to skewer and only so many hours in the day.

[Vermont Neighbor]

Fantastic, funny stuff. Left jab, right jab.... it's always right to jab the left!

Keep up the great work. Love the screen captures.

[Swamp Rabbit]

Is this a case of life imitating art or the other way around,,, Oh hell, just leave me alone!

[Elmo]

http://faculty.concord.edu/chrisz/hobby/67-Marlin-1.html

I'm pretty sure it was a Marlin [with the floral print interior (yumm)].

[John from WuzzaDem]

It's CinciNNaTi, not CinciNaTTi.

Fixed! Sorry, I'm a bit dyselxic.

[Klabdak]

The only sign of life in CinciNNaTi is the sign that says "I-71 North, Cleveland - 240 miles."

[John from WuzzaDem]

The only sign of life in CinciNNaTi is the sign that says "I-71 North, Cleveland - 240 miles."

Now, that's just mEAn.

[Klabdak]

Yeah, but if you grew up in Cleveland you would uNdErStAnD. We are always ribbing each other.

[John from WuzzaDem]

Oh, I sEe, iT'S aN OhIO thiNg.

[Damian G.]

"Do you validate parking?"

Priceless.

[MT]

Awesome! Damn that's good. I feel better now.

Great work...thanks for the therapy. :P

[Amador]

Bravo ! I guess Joe Wilson is from oHIo ? Well, how do you pronounce Cincinatti anyway ?

Angelina has probably worked with them. UN,etc.

Your missing the ONE program at Peace Corps, Joe Wilson(Peace Corps), Snow's Darfur and AID(Plame) money. It all happended at the Press Party.

[Miriam Sawyer]

The sign says: "140 miles to Columbus." Cleveland is way too far away.

[Jeff H]

I wonder when one of them will crash their Isuzu into a security barrier at 2:45 am, and blame it on, let's see... Is it phenergan, or ambien, or pain pills, or bipolar disorder, or alcohol...no, wait, it's NEVER alcohol...

[wronwright]

Joe Wilson is NOT from Cincinnati. At least I hope not. It's bad enough that Ted Turner, Steven Speilberg, and George Clooney hail from here.

Really folks, they're aberrations. Most Cincinnatians carry their heads on their shoulders, not up their asses.

[Karridine]

I just discovered you, via the Sock Puppets debacle, and I was ROFLMAO...

You got SOME STUFF, here...

May I do audio recordings of any of your work? For posting on my blog, which is a Non-Profit venture. Didn't start out that way, but hey...

You've got my email addy, and my blog is:
BrainSurgeryWithSpoons.blogspot.com

Great stuff here...

[buzz]

you have to show Wilson with booze

[TJ's Anti-contrarian Blog]

Hilarious. I'm glad I finally found this.

[Keith]

Valerie Plame is hot