Sorry About The Extended Absence

Can't be helped right now. I'll probably be out at least another week.

Comments

[Kiki B.]

He's not in Rehab. He's on a beach in Hawaii sipping tropical cocktails. Lucky Dog! Do the hula once for me, John.

[Cheap Bimbo]

Maybe the highest heels, and fishnet stockings are not alluring enough for you Johnny. I may have to go out and add my longest, blackish, false eyelashes and reddest lipstick. Now you have to leave me again? Is it my ivory and gold cigarette holder? My Joan Crawford eyebrows? My Marilyn Monroe mole? Oh Johnny, why'd ya have leave me? Violent sobbing.

[Gordon]

So cryptic. Who knew that John was Black Ops for Rove's Cyber-assasin corps?

You go Johnny! We'll be waiting!

[AnonymousDrivel]

Aw, man! The previous post was just gettin' going. Now, John's interruption made me lose my train of thought.

Let's see, where was I? Oh yeah. Searching for RAID to get that infernal cricket! How does it always knows when to stop chirping? And what's with its tag-teaming with the owl? It's a conspiracy... I just know it.

[Jeff H]

Hey, I didn't think birdshot would do this much damage...

[Retired Geezer]

John is meeting with Dave at GR and Jack M. to discuss ....
What?

[Dodger]

So, was this an official post? Or a non-post to tell us us there was no post. John hasn't gone "postal", has he?

[Charles]

Dude, I am having WITHDRAWAL here! Come back and post something FUNNY!

[tee bee]

Dude, that's the height of egotism. Everyone else gets a stand-in, a punter, some guest bloggers, but noooooooooo, no one's funny enough to be John while he's out doing his community service hours.

Okay. No one's funny enough to be you while you're out doing your community service hours. Can't you get the judge to consider this community service? It keeps Jeff from drinking, Cranky Gordon shows up for work to use the computer so he can read your blog, and cheap bimbo... well, there's a cheap bimbo. The judge should consider that a good thing, too.

[Klabdak]

It looks like the insurgents have set a new deadline on John.

[Crickets]

Resume chirping

*Chirp*
*Chirp*
*Chirp*
*Chirp*
*Chirp*

[Retired Geezer]

I hope when John gets back he posts some Conversations with Inanimate Objects.

[Jeff H]

Retired Geezer: "I hope when John gets back he posts some Conversations with Inanimate Objects."

Why bother? We're all doing a nice job of that amongst ourselves.

[AnonymousDrivel]

Jeff H.,

Who are you calling "Inanimate"? I can assure you my Inanimosity is as animated as an IMAX cartoon for lack of sleep. Jiminy be d*mned! (*reaching for slipper*)

[Jimmy 3rdPerson]

JIMMY's GETTING MAD! I am going to sic Kosmo Kramer on you.

[tee bee]

Squirrel, please.

[Gordon]

Yeah, what Tee Bee said. By you blogging you're keeping the economy going.

[Enas Yorl]

Echoes!

Overhead the albatross hangs motionless upon the air
And deep beneath the rolling waves
In labyrinths of coral caves
The echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand
And everything is green and submarine

[Amador]

Great poem, but,
Do water echoes willow ?

[tee bee]

Reciting poetry. That's the official low-water mark, I think.

Not that your pick was bad, Enas. I just can't picture what John would do adrift on the ocean with a boatload of losers stupid enough to kill an albatross. Everybody knows there's more meat on a stork.

[Jeff H]

Try to find a stork at sea, tee bee. Better luck finding a KFC two piece meal in Pam Anderson's bra.

[Michael]

Better luck finding a KFC two piece meal in Pam Anderson's bra.

It could happen. I, for one, am willing to look.

[Enas Yorl]

Echoes - continued

And no one showed us to the land
And no one knows the wheres or whys
But something stirs and something tries
And starts to climb toward the light

Strangers passing in the street
By chance two separate glances meet
And I am you and what I see is me
And do I take you by the hand
And lead you through the land
And help me understand the best I can

[AnonymousDrivel]

Open Mic Night, eh?

Feelings,
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
Feelings,
Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Ahem, woe is me. I have NO talent.

[Enas Yorl]

AnonymousDrivel, C minus celebrity Jaye P Morgan has Gonged your performance. Please leave the stage.

Echoes - concluded

And no one calls us to move on
And no one forces down our eyes
And no one speaks and no one tries
And no one flies around the sun

Cloudless everyday you fall upon my waking eyes
Inviting and inciting me to rise
And through the window in the wall
Comes streaming in on sunlight wings
A million bright ambassadors of morning

And no one sings me lullabies
And no one makes me close my eyes
And so I throw the windows wide
And call to you across the sky

[AnonymousDrivel]

Enas,

That's waaay more than I deserve. And I'm not having anything to do with popsicles to boost my score, so I'll just leave with the home-version boardgame and drown my sorrows with a fifth of Southern Comfort. Hey, is Cheap Bimbo around? I bet she like games.

[Jeff H]

Michael: whatever you find in Pammy's bra, you won't be able to eat it. Silicone ain't very nutritious.

[Bitchnmoan]

It is ultimatum time:

John, if there aren't at least two extremely funny posts up by tomorrow, Wuzzadem is coming off my favorites list! I hate that it has come to this, but you've left me no choice.

[tee bee]

Actually, Bitch, now that Bob's not around all the time with his flashy pictures, stick figures and slick city humor, Jeff's been able to work on his stuff a lot more. He's getting pretty funny.

Just don't give AD the mic again unless he gets some better material and some colored girls to back him up.

[Cheap Bimbo]

Oh Johnny, Johnny, I've moved your stuff out of the main folder into a subfolder, way, way down in a long list. The more inactive, the lower down in the list, until . . . moved to the inactive folder, then to be checked at least a year. Don't let this be your fate, Johnny. Don't make find a new blogger for my fishnets, and high, high, heels.

Oh, and AnonymousDrivel, I like some games, but not those played anonymously, and I am unanimous in that. X ;->