Howard Dean, Jack Abramoff, and The Time-Space Continuum
We now join Fox News Sunday, already in progress.
The president claims he hardly knows Jack Abramoff, and now we hear there are pictures of the two of them smiling and laughing together.
In all fairness, Governor, I'm sure that you've taken pictures with thousands of people you didn't know.
Chris, if there's one picture or two pictures, maybe it doesn't make much of a difference, but if it's a repeated series of pictures, you can tell if there's a close relationship or not.
I don't know how you could possibly tell that just from seeing a picture.
Well, let me show you an example.
That looks like a photograph of Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal from the film Brokeback Mountain.
Exactly. Looks pretty innocent, doesn't it? But look at this next one.
I'm not following you.
Getting a little closer. Now, check this out.
Is that the kind of thing you want to see in the White House?
No. No, it's not.
Governor, you and other top Democrats are going after what you call a Republican culture of corruption, and say that no Democrat received any money from Abramoff.
That's right, Chris. Not one dime of Jack Abramoff's money went to any Democrat or any Democratic organization.
Governor, I want to show you something right now, and I guess this also ties in to our earlier conversation about those alleged photos of Jack Abramoff and the president. Look at this.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but that appears to be a photo of you accepting a large amount of cash from Jack Abramoff.
I don't think it's fair to show that picture without providing any context.
All right, what's the context we're missing?
Well, for one thing, you can't see the denomination of the bills.
...
Chris, the important thing is that Democrats want to clean up Washington, and if the American people will put us back in power in '06, we will have on the president's desk things that outlaw all those kinds of behaviors.
And what if the president doesn't like some aspect or another of this proposed legislation?
Well, then I guess we'll just have to wait until America elects a Democrat as president in 2008, and whether that happens to be John McCain, or...
Governor, I hate to interrupt you, but you know John McCain is a Republican, don't you?
Chris, I'm talking about Senator John McCain from Arizona.
So am I. Senator McCain is a Republican.
Are you sure?
I'm absolutely positive.
Wow, he sure doesn't act like one. Well, we've still got Richard Lugar. Anyway, the point I was making is that we'll have major campaign finance reform legislation passed within 50 days of the 2008 election.
Fifty days? Isn't that a very aggesssive target?
No, because the first thing we're going to do is pass legislation that makes it possible to do everything in half the time it takes now.
Is that even possible?
Not as long as there's a Republican in the White House. It's just one more reason people need to vote Democrat.
Governor, I'd really like to hear more about this, but we're running out of time, so...
You won't run out of time once we're back in power!
What I mean is that we've got to break for a word from our sponsors.
We'll outlaw sponsors.
Actually, I like having sponsors.
Then we'll pass a law that gives you twice as many as you have now.
That's nice of you...
In half the time!
Well, we really do have to go now.
That wouldn't happen on our watch.
I'm sure it wouldn't.
Remember everyone; Lugar/Hagel in '08!
I'm Chris Wallace. Thanks for joining us, and we'll see you next Fox News Sunday.
When we're back in power, it'll be Fox News Saturday!
Ian has the video.
Twice the sponsors in half the time on Fox-News Saturday!
Hahahahaha!
And we won't run out of time.
Anyway, notice how many times Howie says 'not one dime'.
Of course he's risking if he says 'not one damn dime', he'll be showing his hand then.
I wouldn't be surprised one bit if it was McCain/Specter for the Democratic nomination in '08.
-cs™
Posted by: Smitty | January 30, 2006 at 12:18 AM
It is about time the democrats started coming up with some fresh ideas. This half the time thing would really help the American people, and would really get the economy growing.
Posted by: Pile On | January 30, 2006 at 03:26 AM
He is all things to all people lol.
Posted by: dragonlady474 | January 30, 2006 at 06:13 AM
Congratulations! You've been nominated by Peakah for one of the "Best So Far" Humor Blog Awards, January 2006 at Bloggin' Outloud - http://blogginoutloud.blogspot.com/2006/02/best-so-far-blog-awards.html
Please feel free to participate, nominate, and spread the word. Thanks! Lyn from FBO
Posted by: Lyn | January 30, 2006 at 07:22 AM
I think Dr. Dean is playing, "hide the salami" with the truth!
Posted by: MCPO Airdale | January 30, 2006 at 07:24 AM
I think Dr. Dean is a mental case.
Posted by: wxjames | January 30, 2006 at 07:51 AM
I hate Dean so much, I would change the channel if Jesus was interviewing him.
Posted by: Jeff H | January 30, 2006 at 10:23 AM
Jeff H!! ROFLMAO! I can't believe you said that.
Posted by: dragonlady474 | January 30, 2006 at 10:32 AM
"Well, for one thing, you can't see the denomination of the bills."
ROFLMAO too - very droll.
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel | January 30, 2006 at 03:24 PM
Another good one, John! :)
Posted by: EveningStar | January 30, 2006 at 05:43 PM
Thanks, ES.
Posted by: John from WuzzaDem | January 30, 2006 at 11:08 PM