Murthac The Magnificent

Murthac, I have in my hand the first envelope, which has been hermetically sealed and kept since noon today in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnalls' porch.

 

 

 

 

Can't be too careful after what happened in Ohio in 2004.

 

 

 

 

Let's see - 50 million people freed from the grip of a brutal dictator, thousands of schools built, free elections and a free press for the first time in over fifty years.

 

 

 

 

Brutal dictator, schools opened, free elections, free press.

 

 

 

 

That's what I just said.

 

 

 

 

Just trying to help, oh great one.

 

 

 

 

May your next campaign be managed by Bob Shrum. I will now open the envelope...

 

 

 

 

The question is: How would you describe a total failure on the part of the U.S. military in Iraq?

 

 

 

 

I've always been skeptical of this so-called 'progress' in Iraq.

 

 

 

 

Well, it's become apparent to me there's been no progress in Iraq. That's why we should pull the troops out immediately.

 

 

 

 

Murthac, didn't you just say last year that pulling the troops out early would result in a civil war, and ultimately an international disaster?

 

 

 

 

Listen Red Riding Hood, I've been to Iraq since then, and I've talked to the commanders on the ground.

 

 

 

 

And of course, they told you there's no way we can defeat the insurgents.

 

 

 

 

No, they say they're confident we can defeat the insurgents - actually, they call them terrorists, but they say we're winning.

 

 

 

 

But, you know, that's what they're supposed to say. I could tell they didn't really mean it.

 

 

 

 

YESSSSS!

 

 

 

 

I hold in my hand the last envelope.

 

 

 

 

Yaaaaaay!

 

 

 

 

May you be stranded on a desert island with Nancy Pelosi and Carl Levin.

 

 

 

 

The envelope.

 

 

 

 

I'm not going to provide any specifics about the Democratic agenda until 2006, because we right now we don't control the House, the Senate or the White House.

 

 

 

 

Uh, Murthac...

 

 

 

 

I will now open the envelope.

 

 

 

 

Murthac...

 

 

 

 

What is another way of saying you really don't have an agenda?

 

 

 

 

I really wish we'd skipped that one.

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Retired Geezer]

Nailed it.

[Smitty]

Point blank too.

-cs™

[Don]

Funnier than the old SNL Hartman-Carvey skit. Hi-yo! YES!

[Buckley F. Williams]

Nice one.

[AnonymousDrivel]

Yep. Murthac has the foresight of Jimmy Carter, the hindsight of Bill Clinton, and the incite of Howard Dean. Quite a trifecta this hawk displays. Worse, he shows a bit of tailfeather, too.

[Jeff H]

At least he isn't shakin' that tailfeather...

...yet...

[Damian G.]

YEA!!!

Photoshop-tastic!!!

[Kiki B.]

Funk and Wagnalls. What a blast from the past. I remember the Funk and Wagnalls Dictionary from my elementary school days. It's a good thing I'm in Jr. High now. Really, I am. Honest. I just look mature for my age.

[anthony]

Love it!

[anthony]

I forgot to say - ingenious! - correct my spelling if necessary.

[Jeff H]

Kiki, probably not a good idea to identify yourself as a middle school girl--too many creepy types roaming the blogosphere, pretending to be caring commenters, who might take advantage of you.

Hey, wait a minute...

[Kiki B.]

Ummm...and you would know this, HOW, Jeff? With a name like Jeff H., I have a hard time believing that you're one of those middle school girls. I mean, I know that those weird, hippy-type parents name their children anything nowadays, but Jeff H.? I really think it's time you quit trying to pass yourself off as Buffy of WuzzaDem Jr. H.S.

BTW, those creepy types would have a coronary if they saw me. ;-) If I were in Jr. High, I think that would mean I would have failed 7th grade about 25 times...Lol.