Law & Order SMU (Special Mayberry Unit)

In the criminal justice system, there are two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; and the attorneys, who prosecute the offenders.

The first half of our show follows law enforcement officials as they investigate crimes and apprehend suspects, sometimes with surprising results.

Chung-chung! [Law & Order sound]

Otis, what are you doin' in that cell?

 

 

 

Sorry, Andy, I had a little too much to drink, so I locked myself up.

 

 

 

Now, Otis, I told you, you can't keep comin' in here drunk every weekend.

 

 

 

He told you, Otis, you can't keep comin' in here drunk every weekend.

 

 

 

I can handle this, Barney.

 

 

 

I'm just tryin' to help, Andy.

 

 

 

Well, I don't need your help right now.

 

 

 

I'm real sorry, Andy.

 

 

 

He's real sorry, Andy.

 

 

 

Barney!

 

 

In the second half, the focus shifts to the criminal court system, where the case is resolved as it works its way through a complicated justice system.

Chung-chung!

 

 

Well, I'm sorry, Otis, but a night in jail just ain't enough this time. I'm gonna have to fine you five dollars.

 

 

 

Five dollars?!? That's a lotta money, Andy.

 

 

 

Five dollars is a lotta money, Andy.

 

 

 

Would you hush up, Barney?

 

 

 

Otis, I don't like doin' this, but the law's the law.

 

 

 

You heard him, Otis. The law's the law.

 

 

 

Barney!

 

 

 

I ain't got five dollars right now, Andy. Can I pay you in a couple of weeks?

 

 

 

Wellll...

 

 

 

You know I'm good for it, Andy.

 

 

 

You know he's good for it, Andy.

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

Sorry, Andy.

 

 

 

Well, I don't suppose a couple of weeks would hurt.

 

 

 

Thanks, Andy.

 

 

 

You're welcome.

 

 

 

Well, guess that about wraps her up, huh?

 

 

 

Yup.

 

 

 

Yyyyyyeaaah.

 

 

 

Mmmm-hmmm.

 

 

 

Burrrp!

Chung-chung!

Tune in next week for another exciting episode of Law & Order SMU.

 

Comments

[Kiki B.]

An aside to my normally witty and urbane posts. ;-)

Dear Friends,

My sis-in-law recently received an email from her cousin, Kelly. Kelly's friend is Angela Sackett who is right now appearing on The Food Network's "Next Food Network Stars Season 2" show. She has been in ahead in the voting, but today has fallen behind. Do you all think you could go over and vote for her? I have been doing so once a day(that's all that's allowed). Thanks! Here's the link:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_nf_vote/text/0,2495,FOOD_20356_38539,00.html

[Dodger]

Man, those courtroom scenes with the fur flying and the jockeying for position. Riveting.

[adolfo velasquez]

I can't believe I read the whole thing.

[AnonymousDrivel]

Justice was served and the roughened edge of civilization made whole. I'm forever grateful Law & Order SMU was able to illustrate such deep conflict and the resolution of it in such a concise, pointed documdrama.

Frankly, I enjoyed seeing the wily Otis debate the oppressive, financial burden placed on the underclass by "the Man"; however, I'd liked to have seen the compassion of a concerned citizen, say Goober, giving up his tip money to ease the pain and suffering of a drunken oaf, thus signifying the inhumanity of law and the triumph of social intervention to rectify an unjust blight in the potato field of jurisprudence.

Speaking of potato fields, where's BPwSCaC?

[RightWingRocker]

TAKE ME DRUNK, I'M HOME AGAIN!!

RWR

[Swamp Rabbit]

God I love this blog!

[Karl Maher]

Next week, will Otis join some border-watching outfit and vomit on illegal aliens? Cause, you know, Mayberry snuggles right up to Virginia.

[a4g]

So, wait... Is Otis the far-right Christian terrorist that takes innocent Muslims hostage in a mosque? Or is it Andy?

TV confuses me.

[BIRDZILLA]

And ottis was a regular inhabinant of the MAYBERRY jail and have you ever been the starship construction factory in BEDFORD FALLS? that where the USS STARGAZER was constructed

[LargeBill]

Maybe it's my age showing but I can hear each of their voices as I read the text. Great post.

[AnonymousDrivel]

BIRDZILLA,

?

Oops,I mean ?!

Have you and Otis been hittin' the cider again?

[Sue Bob]

Hic!

[Don]

I always wondered why Mayberry had a sherrif AND a deputy. Not like there was a lot of crime going on there. And where were the necessary government social safety nets to take care of poor souls like Otis?

[AnonymousDrivel]

Again with the Babelizing loop? Fer cryin' out loud. Maybe if the U.N. takes over the internet they'll be able to screen this nonsense.

[Jeff H]

I always suspected Howard was a serial killer.

[Dodger]

Floyd always worried me a little.

[Jeff H]

Yeah, Floyd always did seem a little "light in the loafers"...

[Floyd]

Oooo, uh uh, Aaaaaaandy. What did that fella mean, sayin' I'm "light in the loafers"? I don't even wear loafers, Aaaaaaandy.

[It's Me, It's Me! It's Ernest T.!]

Floyd, I'll show you what he meant.

[Dodger]

Jeff
I've been thinking about your theory about Howard and I think you may be right. Ever notice how he would be absent for several episodes at a time. Where was he? Also, remember his over-protective, over-bearing mother?

[Jeff H]

Dodger, I think we're really onto something here. Perhaps Hitchock based Norman Bates on Howard Sprague.