Mr. Stick Figure: Chilling Free Speech Or Keepin' It Real?
(John from WuzzaDem)
Issue one: Poll faulting! This week, President Bush's approval numbers...
Ah, excuse me, Mr. McBlowhard, what do you think you're doing?
It appears I'm part of what is colloquially referred to as a 'bit'.
A bit? Then why aren't you...
As in satire: The age-old art of holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn through the use of a literary work, or, in this case, pictures.
I know what satire is, you nimrod! I was trying to ask why you aren't talking about Harriet Miers.
That's scheduled for 'Issue 3' this week, first I wanted to delve into the controversy swirling around...
Yeah, blah, blah, blah, whatever. Listen, if you're not hopping mad at someone about the Miers brouhaha, then no one wants to hear what you have to say, so take off.
Are you telling me that issues of import concerning...
Here's an interesting fact: "Take off" is not a 'colloqiualism' for "Please do blather on endlessly about some boring sh*t that's of interest to no one but you."
I just want to go on record as saying...
Are you still here?? Hit the road, egghead!
Do you believe that guy?
Folks, Joe Scarborough here with breaking news, the grand jury investigating the CIA leak case has just returned indictments on...
Hey, raccoon eyes! What's your deal?
I'm reading breaking news on the CIA leak investigation. The grand jury just indicted...
Did they indict Hariet Miers?
Well, no, of course they didn't.
Did they clear Harriet Miers?
No, Harriet Miers was never a target of the investigation.
Do you have a comment from Harriet Miers?
A comment from Harriet Miers?? No, I just...
Then nobody cares!
But this is a...
I SAID, NOBODY CARES!
Ah tell you somthin' 'bout Harriet Miers.
Finally! OK, go ahead.
You ever see them ol' washin' boards people used to wash their clothes with?
Yeah, I've seen those.
I 'member those from when ah wuz jus' a little squirt. My momma, bless her heart, she'd spend hours just scrubbin' and scrubbin' and scrubbin' clothes on one o' them ol' washboards, you know.
Right, right.
She'd scrub them clothes so hard, her hands would just swell up. She'd have big ol' sore hands, big giant knuckles, and she used that one arm so much, she had herself a forearm like Popeye, 'cept without the tattoo, but I never once heard her complain.
OK, I think I see where you're going with this.
Then she'd spend hours wringin' them wet clothes out - hands all sore, wringin' them clothes, and wringin' 'em...
Ah, now I see the metaphor; hands, wringing...
Course, the clothes would be all wrinkly when they was dry, so she'd have take a hot iron to 'em.
Not really sure how that fits into the metaphor.
Now, she always did her scrubbin' with her right arm, so she'd make sure to do her ironin' with her left arm, so one didn't get bigger then the other.
Definitely lost me there.
And she'd spend hours just pushin' that ol' iron back and forth, and back and forth, and...
All right, that's enough!
Whatsa matter?
You said you had a comment about Harriet Miers, but all you're doing is boring the crap out of everyone, droning on and on about how your mother had to do laundry by hand because she didn't have a washer and dryer.
Who said she didn't have a washer and dryer?
That's it, I've had it with you - hit the bricks, chromedome!
See, you conservatives always say you're for family values, but you don't wanna hear...
I said, hit the bricks!
I swear, I'm getting one of those pounding headaches that feel like...
As you know, the ten of you were chosen as finalists for...
Hey, freak show - this better have something to do with Harriet Miers.
Harriet who?
Don't tell me you haven't been following the news about President Bush's nominee to the Supreme Court.
The supreme what?
Don't you watch the news or read the paper?
No, brother. I try not to crowd my head with too much information.
I think we may have found the next senator for the state of Louisiana.
State of what?
Actually, he might be a better fit for New Jersey.
"Who said she didn't have a washer and dryer?" ROFL!
John, I must say that the stick figure is one of my favorite bits ever since you introduced him.
Posted by: SeanS | October 28, 2005 at 01:09 AM
Um, I thought you were dead...
Perhaps it was your "evil twin"???
Posted by: Jeff H | October 28, 2005 at 05:25 AM
In your dreams, cornpone!
It'd take a lot more than the so-called wit of some hayseed from Bugtussle to kill me off.
Bring it on!
Posted by: Mr. Stick Figure | October 28, 2005 at 11:00 AM
Cornpone???
Look here, wise ass, it's hayseed...Mister Hayseed, to you!!!
Posted by: Jeff H | October 28, 2005 at 07:14 PM
Stick Figure says: "...no one wants to hear what you have to say, so take off."
Very telling colloquialism. Yo! Figure... part Canadian? If so, which part? And if it's an extremity, then I don't wanna know.
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel | October 30, 2005 at 05:14 AM