Hardball: Back To School
I'm Chris Matthews, let's play Hardball. I had a fantastic time during the Hardball College Tour back in 2004, and tonight we're visiting a school that's near and dear to my heart - it's my alma mater, Melton Elementary School.
Let's talk to some of the students in the audience here. How are you, young lady?
You always think you're so smart!
Thanks, I appreciate that. You know, I did graduate in the top 112 of my class.
Yeah, but how may people were in the class?
That's not really important. Let's talk about current events. You've probably heard that House majority leader Tom DeLay has been indicted by grand jury in Texas. If he's actually sentented to jail time...
You don't go to jail from a dite-ment!
Yeah, you have to go to a trial with one of those judge guys and everything! We learned that last week.
I knew that, I knew that, but we did hear from DNC chairman Howard Dean earlier, and he said...
My dad says that guy's even funnier than you.
Governor Dean does have a great sense of humor.
Yeah, my dad was laughing so hard when he said he wanted to hide the tsunami.
Oh, you must mean when Governor Dean said the president couldn't play "Hide the salami."
Whatever.
My mom says you never listen to nobody.
Hey, Mr.
HEY, MR!
Sorry. What were we talking about?
How come you never ask those Democrat guys any hard questions like you do the publican ones?
Yeah, you're a-posed to be fair, 'cause you're on TV.
I treat every guest the same, regardless of their political affiliation.
Nuh-uh.
Uh-huh.
Nuh-uh!
Uh-huh!
NUH-UH!!
UH-HUH! Listen, I've gone after plenty of democrats, in fact, I made a big stink when...
AAAAHAHAHA!
What?
Nothin'.
Well, as I was saying, I made a huge stink when...
AAAAHAHAHA!
What?
Nothin'.
Well, we have to take a break. When we come back, we'll look at how some people are dealing with gas...
AAAAHAHAHA!
WHAT?? Oh, forget it! We'll be right back, you're watching Hardball.
Hey, Bob, didn't we just have a talk about screening the guests a little more throughly?
What a big poopy-head!!!
Posted by: Beth | October 06, 2005 at 06:22 AM
No after-nap snacks for you!
Posted by: spd rdr | October 06, 2005 at 07:14 AM
That's way to frickin' funny! Keep 'em comin'!
Posted by: angus lincoln | October 06, 2005 at 07:34 AM
Beautiful. You've been linked in my menus.
Keep up the good work!
Posted by: The Artist | October 06, 2005 at 08:50 AM
You hate publicans!
Posted by: joey | October 06, 2005 at 09:54 AM
I do not.
Posted by: Chris Matthews | October 06, 2005 at 09:54 AM
Do too! And you eat your boogers.
Posted by: joey | October 06, 2005 at 09:56 AM
Hey, kid, I do not. I'm a fair but tough news guy.
Posted by: Chris Matthews | October 06, 2005 at 09:58 AM
Are not!
Posted by: joey | October 06, 2005 at 10:00 AM
Am too, you little jerk. Where's your mother?
Posted by: Chris Matthews | October 06, 2005 at 10:01 AM
Are not! Are not!
Posted by: joey | October 06, 2005 at 10:03 AM
Bob, somebody needs to get this kid back in the green room before I kick his little butt.
Posted by: Chris Matthews | October 06, 2005 at 10:05 AM
Nee-ner, nee-ner, nee-ner!
Posted by: Dan | October 06, 2005 at 12:06 PM
Finally
Matthews meets his intellectual equal.
Posted by: Dodger | October 06, 2005 at 01:57 PM
AAAAHAHAHA!
Posted by: Redhand | October 06, 2005 at 08:56 PM
Man I wish you'd have appropriated Mr. Doofus for this.
-T
Posted by: The Therapist | October 06, 2005 at 10:20 PM
Wuz, you're too funny!
[gotta link this, where the hell is my Quick Post button? Oh, there it is...]
-- R'cat
CatHouse Chat
Posted by: Romeocat | October 07, 2005 at 07:59 AM
Gas? Farts? Doodoo? Peepee?
Sounds like a regular Chris Matthews program. All stink and shit.
Posted by: Gordon Jones | October 10, 2005 at 02:31 AM