Tim Russert Is No Mr. Stick Figure

So, Tim Russert - what's up, dawg?

 

 

 

 

Stick figure, these are exciting and turbulent times, and as a journalist...

 

 

 

 

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Listen, I want to talk about your interview with...

 

 

 

 

Of course, the Bill Clinton interview. You know, it's stirring up quite a bit of controversy, but President Clinton has always been a very direct man, and...

 

 

 

 

Hey, do you have to do a monologue every time you open your mouth? I wasn't talking about the Clinton interview.

 

 

 

 

Did you see the Clinton interview?

 

 

 

 

Yes, I saw the Clinton interview.

 

 

 

 

Can we show a clip?

 

 

 

 

*Sigh* Hey, whatever floats your boat. Roll it, boys!

 

 

 

 

Mr. President, can you give us a laundry list of the things you think the current administration is doing wrong?

 

 

 

 

Well, Tim, past presidents don't generally do that, but I'll give it a shot...

 

 

 

 

...before UN inspections were completed...

 

 

 

 

...undermined the support that we might have had...

 

 

 

 

...don't really have enough troops to do that...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You want people to see that?

 

 

 

 

What do you mean?

 

 

 

 

Never mind - anyway, I'm talking about another politician who wouldn't know the truth if it bit him in the ass.

 

 

 

 

Doesn't ring a bell.

 

 

 

 

Perhaps THIS will refresh your memory!

 

 

 

 

Still don't know who you referring to.

 

 

 

 

It's this guy, you idiot!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ah, yes - Aaron Broussard. You know, that was one of the defining media moments of the hurricane Katrina coverage, a moment in which raw emotion...

 

 

 

 

He was lying, you jackass!

 

 

 

 

Lying?

 

 

 

 

Yeah, lying. You know, BSing, yanking your chain, blowing smoke up your...who does your fact checking, anyway - Chris Matthews?

 

 

 

 

I'm not aware of any discrepancies in his...

 

 

 

 

You didn't notice that his story about when that poor woman died contradicted your own network's reporting?

 

 

 

 

I think we should be very careful, here. We don't want to appear insensitive about someone's death.

 

 

 

 

Oh, but it's OK for someone to LIE about the facts surrounding someone's death?

 

 

 

 

Of course not...

 

 

 

 

Well, that's exactly what he did, you putz, and you didn't challenge him once.

 

 

 

 

That's not exactly true, Stick Figure. I did ask him if he thought the mayor of New Orleans and the governor of Louisiana could have been more effective in evacuating the area.

 

 

 

 

Yeah, then he he went on a five minute rant blaming everyone but them, and you never followed up. I swear, you remind me of Ed.

 

 

 

 

Murrow?

 

 

 

 

No, McMahon!

 

 

 

 

He wasn't a journalist.

 

 

 

 

Exactly! He was a straight man. Johnny Carson would say "Boy, was it cold today," and Ed would say "How cold was it?" and then shut up so Johnny could do his schtick.

 

 

 

 

I think you're mischaracterizing my...

 

 

 

 

Yeah, that's it, you're the Ed McMahon of journalism. You should be proud.

 

 

 

 

In all fairness, there are times when a journalist...

 

 

 

 

I did not know that.

 

 

 

 

Come on, Stick Figure, no one can be sure about...

 

 

 

 

HI-yo!

 

 

 

 

Now you just being...

 

 

 

 

YESsssss!

 

 

 

 

I don't have to listen to this. This interview is over.

 

 

 

 

Don't let the door hit you in the ass, Timmy!

 

 

 

 

I wonder why Brian Williams won't return my calls.

 

Related:

What a (Dick?)

George is in love, too.

Comments

[AnonymousDrivel]

Only you, Mr. Figure, have the cajones to ask the tough questions. You put even O'Reilly to shame! I hope you'll continue to walk loudly and carry a big, um, stick.

[The Therapist]

That cupid pic nearly killed me.

Ban me.

--Mr. Idiot

[Bullshark]

If I keep reading at work I'll get fired. Too much laughter from my cubicle!

[Mr. Stick Figure]

DrivelMeister! What up, Dawg?

Hey, T, I don't make this stuff up, you know.

[bird of paridise]

Of course clinton was lying his mouth was open and thats why you can tell bill clintons lying

[The Man]

Boy, you sure know how to gloat!

[The Man]

Boy, you sure know how to gloat.

[robin]

Stick, FoxNews is calling.

[tee bee]

After seeing Williams on that premier of news programs, the Daily Show, I'm pretty sure the Stickman can expect a call very soon from Bri-bri.

[linda]

You are so clever and funny!

[SK]

Too funny...sad it's also true:)

[Mr. Stick Figure]

Ack! I just saw a rerun of Williams on The Daily Show.

What a %$#*#!& tool!

Hey, that's not what I said. Who edited my comment?

[John from WuzzaDem]

I did.

[Mr. Stick Figure]

Well knock it the *$%#@!& off!

You did it again! Censorship! Censorship!

[John from WuzzaDem]

It's not censorship! I'm not a government representative.

This is my blog, and I can edit comments for content.

[Mr. Stick Figure]

Whatever. No skin off my a** anyway.

Hey!

[Kiki B.]

As an aside. No offense, Stick Figure, it's just that I need to use your interview to post to John since he hasn't written the News reporter/anchor, Our Band: INXS crossover post, yet.

Well, anyway, I was just wondering after watching Rockstar: INXS tonight, if the bands new name was going to be "Our Band: INXS". Stick, what do you think? (Don't make John edit your comments again)

[Jerry]

Tim Russert's in the can with the Dems. He thinks he's a fair and unbiased observer and reporters of world events. Turns out he's one of the worst.

[AnonymousDrivel]

Well, Mr. Figure, I hope John won't cut your mic like they do at so many rallies these days. You know, that Sheehan person was jus

[AnonymousDrivel]

HEY! I'm being oppressed! You saw it! Come see the repression inherent in the system! Bloody giveaway...

[Redhand]

"Tim Russert's in the can with the Dems. He thinks he's a fair and unbiased observer and reporters of world events. Turns out he's one of the worst."

Absolutely. And this was one helluva brilliant satire, Wuzzadem.

[Gordon]

Bravo, Mr. Figure! Have you considered interviewing Mr. Dufus?

[Jakester]

Great stuff, keep it up