The "Disaster Porn" Stars of Cable News (Part II)

I'm Alex Witt, thanks for tuning in to MSNBC for the latest on Hurricane Katrina. We'd hoped to talk with New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin at this time, but it looks like he's running a little late, so let's go to Joe Scraborough live from Biloxi, Mississippi. What's the situation on the ground there, Joe?

 

 

 

Alex, I've said this many times over the past few days, and I'll say it again; I have never seen, and I never thought I'd see the kind of complete and utter destruction that I've witnessed here. I tell you, it boggles the mind, and it's just heartbreaking.

 

 

 

Joe, as you've probably heard, Senator Hillary Clinton has called for a 9/11-style probe into the federal government's response to this terrible disaster, President Bush says he intends to...

 

 

 

Alex, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I've just got to get this off my chest or my head is just going to explode. You know, I'm from an area in Florida we call the Redneck Riviera.

 

 

 

You've mentioned that once or twice.

 

 

 

Now, we've certainly seen our share of hurricanes down there. Maybe they weren't as destructive as Katrina, but we lived through Andrew, so we know a little something about hurricanes.

 

 

 

So, when I hear these people, these politicians, grandstanding for the TV cameras...Well, let me put it this way: when I was elected to Congress in 1994, I developed a reputation for going after both Democrats and Republicans.

 

 

 

Right, right.

 

 

 

And I do the same thing every day on my show, Scarborough Country.

 

 

 

Uh-huh.

 

 

 

You know, I've had people call me a right-winger, or say I'm nothing but a Bush toady - those people have obviously never watched Scarborough Country.

 

 

 

Yyyyeaaaah.

 

 

 

Because, if they had, they'd know that, just like I did in Congress, I'll call someone out if I think they're wrong, no matter what party they're in.

 

 

 

Mmmm-hmmm.

 

 

 

I won't accept talking points for answers, I don't care if those talking points come from the left or the right.

 

 

 

O-Kay.

 

 

 

And if there's anyone out there who doesn't believe me, I suggest they read my book, Rome Wasn't Burnt In a Day, where I chronicle the massive...What were we talking about?

 

 

 

Never mind, Joe, we're out of time for this segment, but thanks for that very informative report.

 

 

 

I mentioned the Redneck Riviera, right?

 

 

 

You did.

 

 

 

Just a second, it'll come back to me.

 

 

 

Joe Scarborough, live in Mississippi. Thanks again, Joe.

 

 

 

Oh - the hurricane!

 

 

 

Thanks again, Joe. Now let's talk to...Carlos? I think this should read Carl Quintanilla, who's reporting from New Orleans. Carl?

 

 

 

It's Carlos, Alex.

 

 

 

Since when?

 

 

 

I go by Carlos sometimes.

 

 

 

I don't remember you ever...never mind. So what's happening in New Orleans?

 

 

 

Alex, those of us who witnessed firsthand the thousands of people - most of them poor, most of them black - being forced into the Superdome without adequate food or water, and then herded onto buses at a slow, torturous pace, will never forget it. I know it's etched into my memory.

 

 

 

And I think there's no getting around the unpleasant fact that what we witnessed was a massive violation of these people's civil rights.

 

 

 

How so, Carl?

 

 

 

Carlos.

 

 

 

Whatever - what was the civil rights violation?

 

 

 

Were you listening? I just told you, most of these people were black.

 

 

 

And?

 

 

 

And, uh, did I mention they were poor?

 

 

 

Yes. I'm still not following you.

 

 

 

Well, it's just that, you know, they were...they were...No offense, Alex, but I don't think you can really understand what these people have gone through unless you've lived below the poverty line, "the man" forcing you to live day-to-day, always wondering where your next meal will come from.

 

 

 

You grew up in Beverly Hills, Carl!

 

 

 

That may be, but as a proud Spaniard, my heart will always be in old Napoli.

 

 

 

That's in Italy.

 

 

 

What's your point?

 

 

 

Never mind, Carlos. I understand New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin is with us now, he's in...Oh, it looks he doesn't wants us to mention his present location. Mayor Nagin, welcome to the show.

 

 

 

Thanks. Sorry I'm late, I tried to catch a bus to get here, but I'll be damned if you can find one in this town. Had to take a cab.

 

 

 

But you're standing right in front of...

 

 

 

Don't say anything about my location! I'm trying to keep a low profile right now, the CIA is after me.

 

 

 

I'm sorry, did you say the CIA is after you?

 

 

 

Do I stutter?? Yes, the CIA. They want to take me out for criticizing Bush.

 

 

 

That's a very serious charge, Mr. Mayor. Have you reported this to anyone?

 

 

 

I tried to, but I got the run-around. I called 411 and they wouldn't do sh*t. Just told me I had to call some other G*d damned number if I wanted help!

 

 

 

I think 911 is the number you should call if you think you're in danger.

 

 

 

That's exactly what that b*tch from 411 said! I guess you're all working from the same script.

 

 

 

I'm not...Mayor Nagin, we've seen a number of state, local and federal officials on television today, and there seems to be a recurrent...

 

 

 

To hell with TV interviews! I'm sick of all these people doing TV interviews! I want a moratorium on TV interviews!

 

 

 

But you're doing a TV interview right now.

 

 

 

The only reason I'm here right now is because people want answers, and they want them now. They want to know why it took so long for the federal government to respond. We need answers so we can prevent something like this from happening again!

 

 

 

You bring up a very good point, sir. People are asking why it took the federal government so long to respond, where the City of New Orleans' evacuation plan might have failed, if it did...

 

 

 

Hold up! Where the City of New Orleans' evacuation plan failed?? Is that why you wanted to talk to me - so you could try to pin the blame for this on the City?? We've got people that need help right now, so this is hardly the time to be asking who was to blame for what.

 

 

 

But you were saying that you want answers so that...

 

 

 

So, now you want go back and look at what I said in the past, pull out some quote and take it out of context. This is nothing but an ambush!

 

 

 

You just said...

 

 

 

This interview is over. There's diesel fumes coming from somewhere, anyway - I'm starting to get a headache. Taxi!

 

 

 

Well, that's all the time we have for tonight, I'm Alex Witt, thanks for watching MSNBC, be sure to tune in same tomorrow for the latest on hurricane Katrina. Or don't. Did I say that out loud?

 

See also: Part I

Comments

That was great.

"Thanks. Sorry I'm late, I tried to catch a bus to get here, but I'll be damned if you can find one in this town."

Lol!

[Dom]

"I tried to, but I got the run-around. I called 411 and they wouldn't do sh*t. Just told me I had to call some other G*d damned number if I wanted help!"

Beautiful work!

[SK]

This is truly a work of art:)

[bird of paridise]

NEWS FLASH SEAN PENN TRIES TO HELP LAY THE BLAME OF PRESIDENT BUSH AND BIG BUISNESS FOR NOT ABIDING BY THE KYOTO TREATY BUT HIS BOAT THE S.S. DISASTER AREA SANK BEFORE HE COULD GET VERY FAR

[Kiki B.]

Bob Denver then instructs Sean Penn on how to foil all attempts to be rescued.

[dtlc]

Great work.

Mr. Satire

[quiggs]

Here's something funny: If you change the window height on your browser just right, and then lean on the page-up or page-down buttons, this post turns into a cool animated cartoon!
Thought you'd want to know.

[mitch]

Please, please tell me there's a Part III in the works...

[Gordon]

Wow! You've assured your spot in the firmament of great humor bloggers.

[SeanS]

This needs to be in the Carnival of Comedy. Definitely a winner.

[seawitch]

Just now seeing this. I was still without power when all the news coverage was pouring out of Mississippi. Sometimes I'm thankful that I was without power so I didn't have to watch the sanctimonious bastards of the news shows showing the destruction of my hometown, Gulfport.