WuzzaDem

Running (Away) With the (RINO) Pack

Bobby! How's it hanging?

 

 

 

 

What's up, Stan?

 

 

 

 

You hear about DeLay getting indicted?

 

 

 

 

I heard. Should be interesting. You know...

 

 

 

 

Hi guys.

 

 

 

 

Oh, hi. I'm Stan, this is Bob.

 

 

 

 

Howdy.

 

 

 

 

I'm Nancy. Nancy, uh, rhino.

 

 

 

 

Pleased to meet you, Nancy. Haven't seen you around here before.

 

 

 

 

Are you kidding? I've lived in this neighborhood forever.

 

 

 

 

Funny, I thought I knew everyone in this...

 

 

 

 

So, Tom DeLay was indicted. Did you hear?

 

 

 

 

We were just talking about that.

 

 

 

 

I was just saying it should be...

 

 

 

 

Well, I say good riddance. Time to purge the ranks and put some real conservatives in office, right?

 

 

 

 

I've heard that indictment is pretty weak.

 

 

 

 

Oh, come on, Bob...

 

 

 

 

I'm Stan.

 

 

 

 

Whatever. DeLay's been spending like a drunken Emu, so I say let's give him the boot while we have the chance.

 

 

 

 

Shouldn't we give him a chance to prove his innocence?

 

 

 

 

Look, if you want to join the Tom DeLay fan club, maybe you should get on the White House payroll.

 

 

 

 

Fan club? What's that supposed to mean?

 

 

 

 

Sure, go ahead and stick up for DeLay. Who cares how many people he's killed, right?

 

 

 

 

Who said he killed anybody?

 

 

 

 

Who knows what he's done? Can you prove he hasn't killed anyone?

 

 

 

 

Of course I can't prove he hasn't killed anyone.

 

 

 

 

No, you can't. So if you want to play into the Democrats' hands, then you go ahead and stand up for someone who may or may not have killed one or more people.

 

 

 

 

You can't say that!

 

 

 

 

People are already saying it.

 

 

 

 

Who's saying that?

 

 

 

 

How should I know? I'm a rhino, not a lawyer.

 

 

 

 

I just don't know how...

 

 

 

 

Do you think he's doing a good job?

 

 

 

 

I've got my complaints, but...

 

 

 

 

Then let's take him out! That's what democracy's all about, right? If you don't like a politician, you give 'em the old heave-ho..

 

 

 

 

Shouldn't we vote him out if we don't think he's doing his job?

 

 

 

 

Listen, Stan...

 

 

 

 

I'm Bob.

 

 

 

 

You keep saying that. Listen, you shouldn't just automatically take DeLay's side just because he's a conservative. If he's done something illegal, then...

 

 

 

 

But we don't know yet if he's done anything illegal.

 

 

 

 

What's important is whether or not people think he's done something illegal.

 

 

 

 

But, if he's innocent, then why should we worry about what people think?

 

 

 

 

Because perception is reality, right, Bob?

 

 

 

 

I'm Stan.

 

 

 

 

I know, I was talking to Bob.

 

 

 

 

I guess it is hard to counter all these accusations...

 

 

 

 

Right, and why wait for the next election? After all, there's no guarantee his constituents will vote him out, right Stan?

 

 

 

 

I'm Bob.

 

 

 

 

I don't care! What I'm trying to say is, we need honest, responsible government.

 

 

 

 

Isn't it dishonest and irresponsible for a district attorney to indict someone if they don't believe that person has broken the law?

 

 

 

 

Whatever. Hey, if you want to toe the Republican party line, It's no sweat off my horn.

 

 

 

 

Who said anything about being Republican?

 

 

 

 

Nothing wrong with blind loyalty to your party. I mean, you've worked hard to build your creds, but if you've got your marching orders from Rush Limbaugh...

 

 

 

 

Whoa, hold on a second, there. I was just about to say maybe it's not such a good idea to go out on a limb for DeLay. Like you say, who knows what the guy's done.

 

 

 

 

Right, right. If you think about it, he's really just a liberal in conservative clothing - remember that crack about there being no pork in the budget?

 

 

 

 

I forgot about that. He should resign just for making that stupid remark!

 

 

 

 

Damned right he should. I don't think what this Texas DA's doing is right, but I just can't bring myself to support DeLay here.

 

 

 

 

Exactly. He stinks of corruption. Or, at least, he stinks of rumors of possible corruption.

 

 

 

 

For all we know, there might be even more rumors coming out.

 

 

 

 

That would be a disaster.

 

 

 

 

Total disater. DeLay can bite me.

 

 

 

 

Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I see by my watch I'm running late. Nice talking to you, Rob, Sam.

 

 

 

 

Bob.

 

 

 

 

Stan.

 

 

 

 

Whatever. See you around.

 

 

 

 

Hey, Bob, did you notice anything unusual about her?

 

 

 

 

Now that you mention it, something didn't seem quite right, but I'm not sure what it was...

 

 

 

 

Come on, man - it's as plain as the horn on your face!

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

She was wearing a watch. Rhinos don't wear watches.

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

You know, because we don't have wrists.

 

 

 

 

Oh, riiiiight! I would have never noticed that.

 

 

 

 

I swear, you can be dense.

 

Related:

AYC? says DeLay is the victim of Pelosi-ism.

Rusty is calling for DeLay's resignation (WTF?), which pissed Will off, and caused Beth to pen a few choice words for Ronnie Earle.

UPDATE: Dan at Riehl World View has more on Travis County, TX DA Ronnie Earle.

Tom DeLay Indicted

Just wanted to let readers know that House majority leader Tom DeLay has been indicted on charges of conspiracy.

Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., will recommend that Rep. David Dreier of California step into those duties, although some of those duties may go to the GOP whip, Rep. Roy Blunt of Missouri.

This comes just one day after Lynndie England, the U.S. soldier pictured holding a leash to a naked (or nude) Iraqi inmate at Abu Ghraib prison in a scandal that prompted global outrage, was sentenced on Tuesday to three years in prison and given a dishonorable discharge, even as so-called "Peace mom" Cindy Sheehan met with AZ Sen. John McCain, a Vietnam veteran whom she called "a warmonger."

No word on whether or not this will affect Sky News' plans to air footage of British supermodel Kate Moss snorting cocaine, and Tom Cruise, who was reportedly "hoaxed" by popular web site Gawker.com, a site that reported Cruise was planning four free lectures at Scientology's Celebrity Centre in October, was not available for comment, nor was US Undersecretary of State Karen Hughes.

UPDATE: Welcome Google users!

Mr. Stick Figure Attends the Michael Brown Hearing

...to the best of my ability.

 

 

 

 

Thank you for those remarks, Director Brown. I'd like to ask you about...

 

 

 

 

How DARE you, Representative Chris Shays of Connecticut!

 

 

 

 

How dare I what? I'm trying to get some answers about what...

 

 

 

 

Don't you know this man has recently dealt with a major disaster? Who knows how long it's been since he slept, and you want to nitpick details about who called who when and said what?

 

 

 

 

I'm not satisfied with some of the statements he's made about...

 

 

 

 

Are you saying you doubt his word? What possible reason could he have for lying?

 

 

 

 

I didn't actually say he was lying, but I do want to...

 

 

 

 

Well, your relentless attack-dog line of questioning certainly makes it appear as though you doubt Director Brown's veracity. Don't you know there's plenty of blame to go around?

 

 

 

 

Well, yes, I think there were failures at all levels - FEMA, Homeland Security, President Bush...

 

 

 

 

Oh. My. GOD! Have you forgotten that the president is from Texas?? Does the name RITA mean anything to you?

 

 

 

 

Well, we also have questions for Michael Chertoff, who certainly...

 

 

 

 

You are aware that Mr. Chertoff resides in the United States, aren't you?

 

 

 

 

What does that have to do with...

 

 

 

 

So there's a good chance that he lives no more than a few states away from the location of a recent disaster. What kind of black-hearted bastard are you, Representative ChromeDome of Connecticut?

 

 

 

 

What are you talking about?

 

 

 

 

Now you're interrogating ME? How dare you! You sit up there where your toilets are flushing and your lights are working...

 

 

 

 

What toilets?

 

 

 

 

Again with the nitpicking! Have you no decency, sir??

 

 

 

 

Look, there are a lot of people up here, why is it you're only questioning me?

 

 

 

 

Because politicians like yourself are a symptom of a much larger...Actually, I just think you're kind of a dick.

 

 

 

 

Security!

 

 

 

 

Man, Washington is a tough town.

 

Deep Thoughts With Jeff and Joe

Gandelmeister - what up Jo-dawg?

 

 

 

Jarvinator!

 

 

 

So, did you catch Karl Rove's little puppet Tim Russert on Sunday?

 

 

 

Easy on the lefty lingo, dude. I'm a moderate, remember?

 

 

 

Right, right, I forgot. I'm a moderate, too.

 

 

 

Good one, man!

 

 

 

No, seriously, I am.

 

 

 

Oh. Sorry.

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

Anyway, did you see the way Russert treated Aaron Broussard on Sunday?

 

 

 

He ambushed the guy.

 

 

 

Speaking of ambushes, you know, Bernie Goldberg tried to say he was "ambushed" on Donny Deutsch's show last July, but I was on that show, and that's just not what happened. In fact...

 

 

 

Jeff...

 

 

 

I mean, so I didn't read the guy's book. Anyone who looks at the cover can tell it sucks, so why shouldn't I say so on national television...

 

 

 

Jeff...

 

 

 

...then, right in front of me, Goldberg starts growing long fangs and razor-sharp claws...

 

 

 

JEFF! Let's try to stay on topic, here.

 

 

 

Sorry about that.

 

 

 

Anyway, I do think a journalist who runs something that's inaccurate has a right to go back to that source to ask follow-up questions.

 

 

 

I don't know, sounds like you're talking about getting bogged down in facts. Facts are the commodity. The truth is harder to find. Justice is harder to fight for. Lessons are what we’re after.

 

 

 

What does that mean?

 

 

 

I don't know, it sounded good when I wrote it.

 

 

 

It did?

 

 

 

Well, it sounded good to me.

 

 

 

Well, as an impartial, moderate, non-partisan centrist with no real political agenda, I'm just afraid Russert's conduct might cause people to think that all journalists are rabid, insensitive right-wing attack dogs like him.

 

 

 

Really. Why can't he be more like Shepard Smith?

 

 

 

Oh, don't even get me started on Shepard. He's my boy.

 

 

 

He's Da Man!

 

 

 

He's the shit!

 

 

 

He's like the Six Million Dollar Man, only shorter, and not bionic.

 

 

 

I'll just pretend I didn't hear that.

 

 

 

Thanks.

 

 

 

We are talking about Shepard Smith post-Katrina, right?

 

 

 

Of course.

 

 

 

Good, because he was a major a$$hole before that.

 

 

 

He was a dick!

 

 

 

He was insufferable.

 

 

 

Typical Faux News android.

 

 

 

So, how do you like teaching journalism?

 

 

 

I spend most of my time trying to correct the misconceptions most of the students have about what it means to be a journalist.

 

 

 

Really?

 

 

 

Oh yeah - talk about being hung up on facts.

 

 

 

At least you're there to set them straight now.

 

 

 

With any luck, we'll have a whole new crop of Shepard Smiths soon.

 

 

 

Maybe even a few Geraldos?

 

 

 

Don't even get me started on Geraldo.

 

 

 

Geraldo's the man!

 

 

 

He's the bomb!

 

 

 

He's the real deal!

 

 

 

He's the Batman of jounalism!

 

 

 

Yeah, um, I have to go now.

 

 

 

See you around.

 

 

 

I like talking to that guy. He's like the Dr. Phil of blogging.

 

Related:

If you don't stop nitpicking that thing, it'll never heal.

To hell with facts, we want the truth!

The MODERATE truth!

Scarborough Country: On the Ball and On the Case

Welcome to Scarborough, I'm Joe Scarborough, and tonight we have a Scarborough Country exclusive report. Let's go to our own Rita Cosby, live in Galveston, Texas. Rita, what's happening?

 

 

 

Joe, I'm here in Galveston, and I can report to you that at this moment there are hundreds, if not thousands of people missing from their homes...

 

 

 

Hold on here, Rita, did you say hundreds of people are missing?

 

 

 

That's right, Joe. Our investigation has found that scores of houses in this town are completely empty, most of them still furnished, many with cars still in the garages, but the occupants are nowhere to be found.

 

 

 

This is absolutely astonishing, Rita. What are the local authorities doing to track these people down?

 

 

 

Joe, you won't believe this, but when I tried to ask local police what kind of investigation they have underway, they basically blew me off, saying they were too busy dealing with water damage and downed power lines to stop and talk to me.

 

 

 

Just a second, Rita. Are you telling me that, right here in the United States, in a city where hundreds of people missing, the police are preoccupied with downed power lines?

 

 

 

That's right, Joe, in fact, I want to show you some video of an encounter I had with a police commander earlier today.

 

 

 

You call this dump a hotel? I specifically asked for a suite - a suite, and you gave me a dumpy single room! Do you know who I am?

 

 

 

That was obviously the wrong video, Joe.

 

 

 

Rita, hold on. I understand we have the Galveston Sheriff on the phone right now. Sir, we were hoping you could answer a few questions about...

 

 

 

Joe, we're making progress clearing out the downed trees, and it appears water damage is relatively...

 

 

 

Sheriff, you may be worried about trees and water right now, but I want to know where the citizens of Galveston are.

 

 

 

Joe, where they are right now isn't really important...

 

 

 

I'm sorry, did you just say it's not important??

 

 

 

That's right, Joe, at this time we're focused on...

 

 

 

Sir, I don't know if you're familiar with Scarborough Country, but thousands of people are watching you right now, and I don't think they're going to be very happy about someone in your position showing such blatant disregard for the citizens he's sworn to protect.

 

 

 

What are you talking about??

 

 

 

And I'll tell you right now, I will be in contact with your superiors, because we're going to get to the bottom of this. If you won't do your job, we'll do it for you.

 

 

 

Are you nuts?!?

 

 

 

Rita, I don't think I've ever seen such indifference and incompetence from a public official in all the years I've been doing this show. I tell you, it boggles the mind.

 

 

 

Yeah, the service in this town really sucks, Joe.

 

 

 

You know, friends, I'm certainly no fan of Bill Clinton, but I've gotta tell you, I don't remember hundreds of people coming up missing from Galveston on his watch.

 

 

 

President Bush had better wake up and smell the coffee, because people are getting sick of all these missing persons stories - believe me, I hear it all the time.

 

 

 

But I'll tell you this, friends - if there's even one person missing, we'll keep reporting on it here on Scarborough Country, night after night after night after night, even when there's no new information.

 

 

 

I don't care how many people call, e-mail or write saying they don't think this is news, or asking how many times I can say "Exclusive," or show the same "Exclusive Photo" over and over and over and over again...

 

 

 

Or how many times the executives here at MSNBC tell me that I can't keep basically doing the same show every night, substituting endless speculation for facts and substance.

 

 

 

None of that matters to me, friends, because here on Scarborough Country, all that matters is...Now I forgot what I was talking about. What the hell was I talking about, Rita?

 

 

 

You've got to be kidding me - how can you not have egg foo yong???

 

 

 

Looks like Rita's busy talking to a source. We have to take a break right now, we'll be right back with more from Scarborough Country, where only common sense is allowed.

 

CNN: Cindy Sheehan, By The Numbers

Good evening, and welcome to Late Edition, I'm Wolf Blitzer. Cindy Sheehan and a group of supporters arrived in Washington, DC yesterday, just days before a massive anti-war demonstration, planned for this Saturday in Washington. CNN's Jack Cafferty has the details.

 

 

 

 

Wolf, Cindy Sheehan's struggle to end the bungled, botched, hopelessly screwed up quagmire in Iraq has been an inspiration the people of this country - the people who can breathe with their mouths closed, anyway.

 

 

 

 

You've gotta wonder what was going through Karl Rove's mind yesterday when Ms. Sheehan arrived, accompanied by hundreds, if not thousands of supporters. We were there when the city was overwhelmed by throngs of anti-war activists, as you'll see in this report.

 

 

 

 

"The army of anti-war demonstrators who came to Washington yesterday..."

 

 

 

 

Jack, I hate to interrupt you, but I only count maybe 25 or 30 people there.

 

 

 

 

If you'll hold your horses, you'll see a lot more people in just a second.

 

 

 

 

Sorry, my mistake.

 

 

 

 

Crowd control had to be a concern for the DC police, and..."

 

 

 

 

Sorry, Jack...

 

 

 

 

What?!?

 

 

 

 

It's just that I can see Cindy Sheehan there. Isn't that just a different shot of the same people?

 

 

 

 

I'm not done!

 

 

 

 

All right, go ahead.

 

 

 

 

"No word on whether or not the White House had additional security personnel on duty, but..."

 

 

 

 

OK, was that snow in that picture?

 

 

 

 

It does get cold in DC, you know, Wolf.

 

 

 

 

It wasn't snowing yesterday - and that looked like a half-pipe in the foreground.

 

 

 

 

Hey, are we here to debate the weather, or to get this lunatic out of the White House?

 

 

 

 

What did you say?

 

 

 

 

I mean, uh, report on the people who say that's what they're trying to do. Not that I have an opinion one way or the other.

 

 

 

 

It's just that you said there were hundreds or even thousands of people there yesterday, and I don't see that in the pictures you're showing.

 

 

 

 

I have more pictures to back up those figures. Look at this one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, come on, Jack!

 

 

 

 

All right, that wasn't a very good camera angle. This one's better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That was obviously a group of Pakistani men.

 

 

 

 

They have an interest in stopping this war, too, you know. For Chrissakes, we're bombing their country into the stone age.

 

 

 

 

We're not bombing Pakistan!

 

 

 

 

Oh boy. Sounds like someone's been watching a little too much Fox News.

 

 

 

 

Are you exaggerating the number of people that were out there yesterday?

 

 

 

 

Of course I'm not. Look at this picture of the crowd in front of the Capitol building.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's the Vatican!

 

 

 

 

Hey, you say tomato, I say tomahto. You're just pissed because Cindy Sheehan is speaking truth to power, and she's going to make sure your precious President Bush doesn't get reelected!

 

 

 

 

Bush isn't running for reelection!

 

 

 

 

Thanks to Mother Sheehan!

 

 

 

 

Not because of...Look, do you have any pictures to back up the crowd figures you gave earlier or not?

 

 

 

 

Yeah, look at this one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's not even a real photograph!

 

 

 

 

So what? "Wolf" isn't a real name, but you don't hear me giving you a ration of sh*t about it on the air.

 

 

 

 

I'm done talking to you. Bob, have the guys in the booth cue up some pictures from Jack's report yesterday. I want to see how many people were there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can see how you might have been mistaken.

 

 

 

 

Apology accepted.

 

Related: Party!

Depressing

UPDATE: Now I know why they were too busy to show up at the Move America Foward Press Conference.

Mother Sheehan Goes to Washington

Cindy Sheehan arrived in Washington, DC today, accompanied by a massive crowd of somewhere between 29 and 30 supporters.

 

 

She bought a giant letter, addressed to the president.

 

 

Once all the camera crews arrived, she signed the letter...

 

 

Then delivered it to the White House.

 

 

Later, she enjoyed a slice...

 

"Mmmm"

 

Then washed it down with a hot cup of java.

 

"Fight the power!"

Funny, she never asked for a second cup in Crawford.

Dan Rather: INXS

So, Dan, tell us how you think you did tonight.

 

 

 

Dave, for the record - no pun intended - I would have to say that after careful consideration of the matter, I really believe that I rocked the house, no doubt about it.

 

 

 

You do know we're doing original songs tonight, right?

 

 

 

Absolutely.

 

 

 

Well, mate, that was definitely one rocking tune...

 

 

 

Slow down there, young man, a fella can only take so much adulation at one time.

 

 

 

I was going to say that it was a rocking tune, but there's a bit of a problem.

 

 

 

Too edgy for INXS?

 

 

 

No, it's just...

 

 

 

Think I need to work the crowd a bit more?

 

 

 

That's not it at all...

 

 

 

Is it the suit? Should I wear something a little more casual on stage?

 

 

 

It's just that we're pretty sure we've heard the song before.

 

 

 

That's what I was going for - the kind of tune that a regular joe could listen to and think to himself, "You know, I'm not sure if I've heard this song before, but I would certainly feel confident in recommending it to my friends and family members."

 

 

 

You are aware that Lynyrd Skynyrd wrote a song, also titled Free Bird, with the exact same music and lyrics, aren't you?

 

 

 

Well, I'm not sure when this Skinner guy wrote his song, but I wrote that some time ago. I'm sure you noticed when I turned my song in this week that I'd had it professionally printed.

 

 

 

Well, mate, if you take a close look at this document you gave us, you can see some fine print at the bottom of the page that says "Lynyrd Skynyrd's Greatest Hits," how do you explain that?

 

 

 

I'm not sure. I will say that there are some partisan rock and roll operatives, particularly among my fellow rockers, who'd like to see me in the bottom three this week.

 

 

 

Listen, mate, I'm afraid this is a violation of the rules of the show.

 

 

 

I don't know where this is coming from, but there's a climate of fear running through this show, stronger than I have ever seen in the more than four weeks I've been here.

 

 

 

Nevertheless, rules are rules...

 

 

 

I'm sure some of my fans may be wondering if I've broken those rules. Folks, nothing could be further from the truth.

 

 

 

I'm sorry, Dan, I'm afraid you're just not right for our band, INXS.

 

 

 

Dude, are you crying?

 

 

 

NO!

 

 

 

Rock on, Dan Rather!

 

 

 

*Sniff* Courage.

 

Encore!

 

Previous INXS posts: Mr Stick Figure: INXS, Dry Cleaner: INXS, Burger King: INXS

Tim Russert Is No Mr. Stick Figure

So, Tim Russert - what's up, dawg?

 

 

 

 

Stick figure, these are exciting and turbulent times, and as a journalist...

 

 

 

 

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Listen, I want to talk about your interview with...

 

 

 

 

Of course, the Bill Clinton interview. You know, it's stirring up quite a bit of controversy, but President Clinton has always been a very direct man, and...

 

 

 

 

Hey, do you have to do a monologue every time you open your mouth? I wasn't talking about the Clinton interview.

 

 

 

 

Did you see the Clinton interview?

 

 

 

 

Yes, I saw the Clinton interview.

 

 

 

 

Can we show a clip?

 

 

 

 

*Sigh* Hey, whatever floats your boat. Roll it, boys!

 

 

 

 

Mr. President, can you give us a laundry list of the things you think the current administration is doing wrong?

 

 

 

 

Well, Tim, past presidents don't generally do that, but I'll give it a shot...

 

 

 

 

...before UN inspections were completed...

 

 

 

 

...undermined the support that we might have had...

 

 

 

 

...don't really have enough troops to do that...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You want people to see that?

 

 

 

 

What do you mean?

 

 

 

 

Never mind - anyway, I'm talking about another politician who wouldn't know the truth if it bit him in the ass.

 

 

 

 

Doesn't ring a bell.

 

 

 

 

Perhaps THIS will refresh your memory!

 

 

 

 

Still don't know who you referring to.

 

 

 

 

It's this guy, you idiot!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ah, yes - Aaron Broussard. You know, that was one of the defining media moments of the hurricane Katrina coverage, a moment in which raw emotion...

 

 

 

 

He was lying, you jackass!

 

 

 

 

Lying?

 

 

 

 

Yeah, lying. You know, BSing, yanking your chain, blowing smoke up your...who does your fact checking, anyway - Chris Matthews?

 

 

 

 

I'm not aware of any discrepancies in his...

 

 

 

 

You didn't notice that his story about when that poor woman died contradicted your own network's reporting?

 

 

 

 

I think we should be very careful, here. We don't want to appear insensitive about someone's death.

 

 

 

 

Oh, but it's OK for someone to LIE about the facts surrounding someone's death?

 

 

 

 

Of course not...

 

 

 

 

Well, that's exactly what he did, you putz, and you didn't challenge him once.

 

 

 

 

That's not exactly true, Stick Figure. I did ask him if he thought the mayor of New Orleans and the governor of Louisiana could have been more effective in evacuating the area.

 

 

 

 

Yeah, then he he went on a five minute rant blaming everyone but them, and you never followed up. I swear, you remind me of Ed.

 

 

 

 

Murrow?

 

 

 

 

No, McMahon!

 

 

 

 

He wasn't a journalist.

 

 

 

 

Exactly! He was a straight man. Johnny Carson would say "Boy, was it cold today," and Ed would say "How cold was it?" and then shut up so Johnny could do his schtick.

 

 

 

 

I think you're mischaracterizing my...

 

 

 

 

Yeah, that's it, you're the Ed McMahon of journalism. You should be proud.

 

 

 

 

In all fairness, there are times when a journalist...

 

 

 

 

I did not know that.

 

 

 

 

Come on, Stick Figure, no one can be sure about...

 

 

 

 

HI-yo!

 

 

 

 

Now you just being...

 

 

 

 

YESsssss!

 

 

 

 

I don't have to listen to this. This interview is over.

 

 

 

 

Don't let the door hit you in the ass, Timmy!

 

 

 

 

I wonder why Brian Williams won't return my calls.

 

Related:

What a (Dick?)

George is in love, too.

Bumped: Another Katrina Myth: Aaron Broussard's "Emotional" Appearance on MTP (Updated: MSNBC/NBC Correction(?))

(Originally posted 9/14/05)

NOTE: The update featuring MSNBC and NBC News' "Correction" is toward the bottom of the page (UPDATE IV).

In yesterday's Chicago Sun-Times [9/12/05], Richard Roeper called Jefferson Parish, LA president Aaron Broussard's tearful outburst, shown September 4th on Meet the Press, "One of the defining media moments of all the hurricane [Katrina] coverage":

 

"The guy who runs this building I'm in, emergency management, he's responsible for everything. His mother was trapped in a St. Bernard nursing home and every day she called him and said, 'Are you coming, son? Is somebody coming?' And he said, 'Yeah, Mama, somebody's coming to get you. Somebody's coming to get you on Tuesday. Somebody's coming to get you on Wednesday. Somebody's coming to get you on Thursday. Somebody's coming to get you on Friday.' And she drowned Friday night. She drowned Friday night.""

Like a lot of people, I didn't think Broussard's story passed the "smell test". We were right: He was lying.

MSNBC's Dateline web site, September 5th:

On Sunday, America met 56-year-old Jefferson Parish president Aaron Broussard in an extraordinary display of raw emotion on NBC’s “Meet the Press” when he talked about a colleague whose mother was trapped in a nursing home awaiting rescue.

The man he was talking about is Thomas Rodrigue, who told “Dateline” that his 92-year-old mother was one of 32 elderly people found dead at the St. Rita’s nursing home.

September 7th, New York Times reported on the deaths at St. Rita's:

St. Bernard Parish officials say that 32 of the home's roughly 60 residents died on Aug. 29, more than a week ago.

August 29th was a Monday. Was Broussard confused about the day on which Rodrigue's mother died?

Susan Candiottoti, reporting on the September 8th broadcast of Newsnight With Aaron Brown:

CANDIOTTI: Sunday night [ed: August 28th], as Katrina struck, Rodrigue was 30 miles away directing emergency personnel for Jefferson Parish. He called the nursing home in St. Bernard Parish again, pleading with officials to get the residents out. He was told they were going to try.

RODRIGUE: I called the St. Bernard officials again and, you know, told them that, you know, they've got to get, you know, these people out. And they said they notified them, and that they weren't -- they refused to leave. And I said, "Well, you need to send the sheriff's office down there and make them leave." And he said, "I'm doing everything I can."

So, Thomas Rodrigue says he was calling the St. Rita's nursing home, and St. Bernard Parish officials on Sunday, August 28th, asking them to send the local sheriff to evacuate the nursing home. Katrina hit St. Bernard Parish on Monday, August 29th, killing his mother.

Broussard claims Rodrigue was talking to his mother for four days after she died, promising her some nebulous "cavalry" was on the way. His story doesn't jibe with the reporting of CNN, MSNBC, the New York Times, or even Thomas Rodrigue's own account.

Why would he lie about such a thing?

Aaron Broussard's crocodile tears came at the tail-end of a tirade against FEMA, in response to a question from Tim Russert asking whether the mayor of New Orleans and the governor of Louisiana could have been "more forceful, much more effective and much more organized in evacuating the area." Just before his "breakdown," Broussard said:

"Sir, they were told like me, every single day, "The cavalry's coming," on a federal level, "The cavalry's coming, the cavalry's coming, the cavalry's coming.""

Who is the "they" he's referring to? It's worth noting that, according to the State of Loisiana's Emergency Preparedned Plan (PDF warning)local officials are responsible for evacuating residents of the various parishes before and during the early stages of the aftermath of a hurricane.

Was Broussard (a Democrat) trying to score political points (and possibly deflect blame away from local government officials) by blaming federal agencies for failing to respond in a timely manner when people's lives were in danger?

If that was his intention, it worked (at least at first). Russert didn't challenge him, even when he made wild accusations of FEMA "cutting [his parish's] emergency [communication] lines" and ordering the Coast Guard not to give them badly needed fuel.

Since any blame for this should be placed on Lousiana state and/or local government officials, any OUTRAGE or RIGHTEOUS indignation should be directed toward them. But don't hold your breath waiting for Tim Russert to issue a correction.

To their credit, even Lies.com issued a correction after initially reporting on reporting on Broussard's accusations has been suspicious of (and asking questions about) Broussard's claims from the very beginning, and recently offered the following:

So, assuming the MSNBC story is accurate, Broussard’s story was at least significantly embellished... Broussard, for all the apparent sincerity in his emotional on-air breakdown, was willing to lie in order to make his story work better as political theater, which in turn makes it harder for me to credit the rest of the slow-FEMA-response anecdotes he described.

I won't be as kind. At best, I think Aaron Broussard is the political equivalent of a price gouger; taking advantage of a tragedy in order to gain political capital. He may very well be purposely trying to blame someone's death on an innocent party (or parties). Either way, it's despicable.

See also: Heh.

Other Katrina Myth posts: "Homeland Security" Wouldn't Let Red Cross Deliver Food and Water to Katrina Victims

UPDATE: Right Thoughts smelled a rat here (no offense to rats) as well, and has been tracking this story.

UPDATE II: I sent a link to this post to Richard Roper, with a short note saying:

It looks like (Aaron Broussard's) story doesn't match the facts as reported by CNN, MSNBC, Dateline, the New York Times, or even the son of the woman who was killed.

Last night (9/14/05) I received the following response:

thanks john, i appreciate the info.

Roeper is now on the record as knowing the facts surrounding the story Broussard recounted to Tim Russert on Meet the Press. I hope he informs his readers.

UPDATE III: I made a mistake on the date of the Sunday noted in the Newsnight With Aaron Brown interview with Thomas Rodrigue. It was the 28th, not the 27th. I neglected to link the transcript as well, that's been fixed. Neither of these mistakes would have changed the subtance of the post.

UPDATE IV: Check out this morning's MSNBC/NBC News article:

"An emotional moment and a misunderstanding"

New details and interviews with the son whose mother died in the flood show that the tragedy unfolded from Saturday through Monday, Aug. 29 — not Monday through Friday, Sept. 2 as recounted by Broussard...

Since the broadcast of the interview, which elevated Broussard to national prominence, a number of bloggers have questioned the validity of Broussard’s story...

The chronology of the phone calls described by Broussard came under particular scrutiny by bloggers.

Rodrigue said he didn’t see or hear Broussard’s comments on Meet the Press. When told of the sequence of phone calls that Broussard described on Meet the Press, Rodrigue said “No, no, that’s not true.”

(H/T: The Anchoress)

The article goes on to quote a spokewoman for Broussard, who says it was "A misunderstanding."

Rodrigue himself says he believe Broussard "Must have been confused."

I think it's worth noting that anyone who's watched the interview can plainly see that Broussard is reading from prepared notes throughout. If this was a misunderstanding, it was one that was carefully prepared.

UPDATE V: Satire from The Therapist: Broussard To Retract Drowning Timeline On Wednesday,Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday

Dean and Ted's Excellent Surprise

Dean Reynolds here for ABC News, here outside the Astrodome, where I'll be getting reaction to the President's speech from some of the evacuees who are still here.

 

 

 

Excuse me, ma'am, what part of the President's speech made you the most angry?

 

 

 

What kind of question is that?

 

 

 

It's what we journalists call an "impartial" question. That means...

 

 

 

I know what impartial means, the question you just asked me was what we non-jounalists call a "leading" question.

 

 

 

Leading?

 

 

 

You know, a question so framed as to guide the person questioned in making his reply.

 

 

 

Right, right. So, which part made you the angriest?

 

 

 

Are you on some kind of medication?

 

 

 

How about you, miss - I'm sure you agree that the "promises" the President made are just too little, too late, but...

 

 

 

I don't agree with that at all.

 

 

 

All right, it sounds like you're willing to give him another chance after he botched the evacuation...

 

 

 

Why would you say he botched the evacuation? Louisiana's emergency preparedness plan says the state and various parishes are responsible for evacuating citizens in the early stages of a hurricane.

 

 

 

Well, there's plenty of blame to go around, maybe this isn't the time to...

 

 

 

Well, if there's plenty to go around, maybe you could assign some to Mayor Nagin, since he let those buses sit idle and flood. That wasn't Bush, you know.

 

 

 

That may be true, but the President could have sent troops in...

 

 

 

So you think he should have invoked the Insurrection Act for the first time since the Civil War?

 

 

 

The what?

 

 

 

Are you familiar with the Posse Comitatus Act?

 

 

 

Well, I mean, I, uh...

 

 

 

You don't know your a** from a hole in the ground!

 

 

 

Who gave you a job as a reporter?

 

 

 

I work for ABC!

 

 

 

That explains the leading questions.

 

 

 

Why aren't you trying to find out why there was no food and water at the evacuation centers they sent us to?

 

 

 

Maybe you could poke around and see if you can find the governor while you're at it.

 

 

 

Yeah, ask her some of those "impartial" questions.

 

 

 

You think you can get us to bash the president just because we're black?

 

 

 

He thinks we're stupid!

 

 

 

No, not at all, I didn't even notice you were stupid - I mean I didn't notice you were black! I mean, I just wanted to get a reaction to Bush's speech from the perspective of poor people.

 

 

 

So you just assume we're poor because we're black?

 

 

 

I, I, I...

 

 

 

I may not be pulling down six figures, but I know the difference between a reporter and an idiot.

 

 

 

Guess which one you are.

 

 

 

Yes, well...I...back to you, Ted.

 

Here's the video! (From Newsbuster.org, H/T: PoliPundit)

More from AYC

And from The Therapist

After Reviewing the Constitution, Michael Newdow Vows to Take His Battle With a Local Fast-Food Establishment All the Way to the Supreme Court If Necessary

 

Sorry, I've read this thing from front to back and I don't see any mention of "tartar sauce."

 

 

 

What a loser!

 

More:

Michelle Malkin

The Therapist owes me a new keyboard

Speaking of Which

Captain Ed

Al Qaeda: "Plenty Of Blame To Go Around"

Welcome to Good Morning America, I'm Diane Sawyer, and I'll be smiling for the entire first half of the show, even when it's inappropriate. Be sure to stay tuned, because later I'll be demonstrating expressions of deep empathy, genuine concern and profound sadness.

 

 

 

 

Yesterday, Al Qaeda released yet another videotape of the mysterious man known only as Azam the American, who threatened terrorist attacks against Los Angeles and Melbourne.

 

 

 

 

This morning, we bring you a Good Morning America exclusive. We have just received another tape featuring a masked Al Qaeda representative who speaks fluent English, and had some rather harsh criticism for American government officials.

 

 

 

 

We haven't yet been able to verify whether or not this is in fact the same person who appeared on yesterday's tape, and I haven't seen it yet, but from what I've been told it is quite frightening, so viewer discretion is advised.

 

 

 

 

Make no mistake, infidels - the recent events in your southern territories are further evidence that you have angered Allah.

 

 

 

 

And you risk incurring even greater wrath by engaging in finger-pointing and politicization!

 

 

 

 

Allah believes there is plenty of blame to go around, but the liars at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue are ultimately responsible for the incompetence that your own Keith Olbermann is exposing on a nightly basis!

 

 

 

 

Rid yourselves of your current leaders or suffer the consequences!

 

 

 

 

At least your federal leaders.

 

 

 

 

Do not blame your state or local officials! Do they not shoulder enough of a burden just getting their infidel employees to come to work on a day when Allah bestows sunshine upon you?

 

 

 

 

Blame those officials, and Allah will literally smite you in your infidel nose!

 

 

 

 

It was Allah who flooded the buses! Do not blame the mayor of...Oops.

 

 

 

 

Go to commercial, Bob. Go to commercial!

 

Other infidels:

Do not BS Allah: You're no "moderate"!

The white-haired infidel has gone too far!

White infidels??

"Very black" infidels!

Note: Thanks to Mrs R. (AKA Mrs. WuzzaDem) at AYC for the Photoshop assistance.

Mary Landrieu Bobs, Weaves, Implodes

I'm Chris Wallace, welcome to Fox News Sunday.

 

 

 

Joining us now to discuss the continuing human drama unfolding in the wake of hurricane Katrina are Louisiana's two senators, Democrat Mary Landrieu, who's here in the studio with us...

 

 

 

Hi, Chris.

 

 

 

...and Republican David Vitter, who's been visiting with thousands of evacuees in Houston. He joins us from just outside the Astrodome.

 

 

 

Good morning, Chris.

 

 

 

Senators, I want to thank you both for being here with us today, I know you must be extremely busy dealing with the aftermath of this tragedy. Senator...

 

 

 

Chris, I hate to interrupt you, but I just wanted to point out that I've visited the hurricane victims, too.

 

 

 

I'm sure you have. Senator Vitter...

 

 

 

On the ground, displaying compassion, dressed in civilian clothes, just as my colleague is now.

 

 

 

Thanks for pointing that out, Senator.

 

 

 

I'd be there right now, but I, um, had a lot of paperwork to catch up on.

 

 

 

I don't doubt that.

 

 

 

You know - hurricane paperwork.

 

 

 

Senator Landrieu, I'm sure everyone knows that you've spent time with the victims of this hurricane. After all, you are a US Senator to the state of Louisiana.

 

 

 

Thanks, Chris.

 

 

 

Now, I want to talk about...

 

 

 

I'm sorry, maybe I'm being a little oversensitive, but were you being sarcastic just then?

 

 

 

No, not at all.

 

 

 

Because it sounded kind of sarcastic - like maybe you don't believe I've actually been to Louisiana since the flood.

 

 

 

Senator, I can assure you that I was being completely sincere. Can I ask Senator Vitter a question now?

 

 

 

Sure. Sorry.

 

 

 

Senator Vitter...

 

 

 

Chris, I'm sorry, but I just can't let your sarcastic remark go unanswered...

 

 

 

I wasn't being...

 

 

 

Now, just to prove that I have been on the front lines, I want to show a picture that was taken when I was with one of the evacuees.

 

 

 

There's no reason to...

 

 

 

Now, here you can see me with a little girl - and I'm displaying a lot of compassion here - you can clearly see a Coast Guard officer in the background...

 

 

 

Senator, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but that appears to be a Sri Lankan military officer in the background.

 

 

 

A what? Oh, I guess it does look like that, doesn't it.

 

 

 

Wasn't this photo taken when you visited Sri Lanka after the tsunami?

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

Well, you both saw the interview we just did with Vice Admiral Thad Allen, who replaced FEMA Director Mike Brown as the head man in charge of the recovery efforts in Louisiana. Senator Landrieu, how do you feel about this personnel change - was this a good move on the part of the president?

 

 

 

Chris, my staff members have had several lengthy phone conversations with Vice Admiral Allen, and based on the feedback I've gotten from them, I'm confident he's the right man for the job.

 

 

 

Senator Vitter?

 

 

 

Chris, I've met with the Admiral, in fact I was with him Thursday for a full briefing, and I've been very impressed with him.

 

 

 

A lot of people have been saying...

 

 

 

Chris, sorry for interrupting, but I just wanted to make it clear that I plan to meet with Admiral Allen as soon as possible. I've just been very busy with, uh...

 

 

 

Hurricane paperwork?

 

 

 

Exactly. But I can assure you that I will be meeting with him, and I'm sure I'll be impressed with him, just as my colleague was.

 

 

 

Senator Landrieu, you've been especially critical of the federal government's response to the hurricane and subsequent flood. Here's a clip of you on the floor of the Senate just a few days ago.

 

 

 

And I intend to find out why the federal response, particularly the response of FEMA, was so incompetent and insulting to the people of our state.

 

 

 

Senator, there's a lot of talk right now about the blame game, and...

 

 

 

That's not my fault.

 

 

 

I didn't say it was.

 

 

 

Because this senator won't be playing.

 

 

 

That's good to know, but...

 

 

 

Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of blame to go around - some at the federal level, certainly with FEMA, of course plenty of blame to be placed on Homeland Security, certainly the President himself will have a lot to answer for...I think that's about it, but that's plenty of blame, and I for one don't intend to engage in finger-pointing.

 

 

 

But, isn't that exactly what you were doing in the clip we just saw, and in the statement you just made?

 

 

 

You know who's playing the blame game? The president. He's the one who's to blame for all the criticism of state and local...

 

 

 

Isn't that finger-pointing?

 

 

 

What's wrong with finger-pointing, Chris?

 

 

 

You just said you weren't going to engage in...

 

 

 

Well, I've deceided to make an exception in the case of people who deserved to have fingers pointed at them for blaming other people.

 

 

 

Let's move on. Senator, what are your feelings about New Orleans' mayor Ray Nagin ordering a mandatory evacuation, and then leaving hundreds of buses to flood instead of using them to get people out of the city? Here's a picture of the buses.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chris, I don't know if you noticed, but those buses were flooded.

 

 

 

They weren't flooded on Saturday or Sunday, when they could have been used to aid in the evacuation effort.

 

 

 

Not if they were flooded.

 

 

 

But they weren't flooded

 

 

 

Let's see that picture again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hel-LO?

 

 

 

Senator, I think you're missing the point. The buses were not flooded when the evacuation was ordered, yet Mayor Nagin failed to use them to evacuate the citizens of New Orleans.

 

 

 

Chris, you might be worried about what happens to a bunch of buses, but I think Mayor Nagin was more worried about the people of his city.

 

 

 

But he could have used the buses to get the people out.

 

 

 

Not if they were FLOODED!

 

 

 

They weren't...Forget it, we're out of time, and I have a headache.

 

 

 

FLOODED!

 

 

 

A splitting headache. I'm Chris Wallace, thanks for joining us, and we'll see you next Fox News Sunday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chris? Hello?

 

This is much funnier. Actually, it's quite bizarre.

No time to watch? Residual Forces transcribed some of this train wreck.

UPDATE: Commenter Anonymous Drivel said:

Heck, John. You didn't have to work for this one. At all. When you're going to plagiarize a transcript, at least tell us that you decided to take the day off.

I considered using the actual transcript of the show, then waiting to see if anyone who hadn't seen this meltdown would notice that it wasn't satire. I don't think they would.

WTF was Landrieu thinking going on FNS? If she'd appeared on Meet the Press, she could have sat back and fielded some of Tim Russert's softballs, just like NO mayor Ray Nagin did yesterday.

Some of the things she said defy explanation, but, of course, no one from the MSM will ask her to explain why Mayor Nagin "Has a hard enough time getting his people to work on a sunny day."

??????

Isn't that racist "code language," that implies the people working for Nagin (many of whom are black) are "shiftless" or "lazy"? Not when it comes from the mouth of a Democrat.

Oh, wait - I forgot, she explained that one by saying "This administration does not support mass transit."

Again: ?????

All I can say is, watch the video. As Anonymous Drivel says:

That video should run as a permanent loop for wannabe-Senators on what not to do. One couldn't construct a better mess.

It's pretty sad when you think about it: A United States Senator should listen to Anonymous Drivel for career advice.

Another Katrina Myth: "Homeland Security" Wouldn't Let Red Cross Deliver Food and Water to Katrina Victims

Myth: Representatives of the US Dept. of Homeland Security prevented the Red Cross from delivering a shipment of food and water to evacuees housed at the Superdome and the New Orleans Convention Center on September 2, 2005.

According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (via DU screed):

As the National Guard delivered food to the New Orleans convention center yesterday, American Red Cross officials said that federal emergency management authorities would not allow them to do the same. [All emphasis mine]

In a September 5th Houston Chronicle article, US Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Houston):

"...lambasted the Louisiana office of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, saying it should have let the Red Cross into New Orleans immediately after the hurricane passed one week ago.

Here's the Red Cross FAQ entry (entitled "Hurricane Katrina: Why is the Red Cross not in New Orleans?") that liberal web sites (and irresponsible politicians) are using to indict FEMA and the USDHS:

Access to New Orleans is controlled by the National Guard and local authorities and while we are in constant contact with them, we simply cannot enter New Orleans against their orders.

Truth: Yesterday I called the National Affairs office of the Red Cross (202-303-5551) and talked with Red Cross spokesperson Lesly Simmons, who told me that the shipment was not turned away by the US Dept of Homeland Security, but by this agency:

The Louisiana Office of Homeland Security and Emergency Preparedness (LHLS & EP); formally the Louisiana Office of Emergency Preparedness (LOEP), was created by the Civil Act of 1950 and is under the Louisiana Military Department.

Ms. Simmons also told me that the Red Cross has never mentioned any involvement in this incident by FEMA, because FEMA wasn't involved. But lazy reporters and partisan Democrats eager to pin as much blame as they can for any mishaps or screw-ups in the wake of this tragedy on the federal government (Read: George W. Bush) can't be bothered with facts that don't fit their agenda.

So we now know that the "Homeland Security" forces who, according to the Red Cross, turned away a shipment of food and water intended for News Orleans evacuees, were employees of a Louisiana state agency, ultimately under the control of Governor Kathleen Blanco (D). Where's the OUTRAGE? Where's the RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION?

There may be valid reasons to criticize USDHS, but this isn't one of them. Any OUTRAGE or RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION over this incident should be directed at Louisiana state officials. But don't hold your breath waiting for US Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Houston) to "lambast" Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco (D).

Note: I placed the call to the Red Cross before I saw this post at Radio Blogger yesterday (H/T: Right Wing News), but I think it's important to note that anyone (including reporters at the Houston Chronicle or Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, conspiracy theorists at Pandagon, or even US Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, (D-Houston)) who wants to know the truth can simply pick up the phone and call the Red Cross. It takes all of five minutes, which leaves you plenty of time for afternoon errands, OUTRAGE, and RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION.

UPDATE: An e-mailer inquired as to my background in journalism. Let's see, I have a goofy satire blog, I've watched 60 Minutes before, try to catch the news when I can...Oh, and I know how to dial a damned phone. Sorry, no laminated "press pass".

Also reporting:

Ace: Louisiana Received More Corps of Engineers Funding Than Any Other State Over Past Five Years.

CHICKENHAWKS!

RACISTS!

The "Disaster Porn" stars of cable news: Part I and Part II.

The Katrina Commission: January 2006 (Part I)

So, "Witness 23," can you tell the members of this commission why you have asked that we not use your real name, and that your face not be shown on television?

 

 

 

Well, Senator, even though I'm governor of the state of Louisiana, I've managed to keep my name and face out of the news for the last four months or so, and frankly, I'd like to keep it that way.

 

 

 

Well, I can't speak for all of my colleagues, but I want to assure you that I'll do everything in my power to help you maintain your anonymity.

 

The "Disaster Porn" Stars of Cable News (Part II)

I'm Alex Witt, thanks for tuning in to MSNBC for the latest on Hurricane Katrina. We'd hoped to talk with New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin at this time, but it looks like he's running a little late, so let's go to Joe Scraborough live from Biloxi, Mississippi. What's the situation on the ground there, Joe?

 

 

 

Alex, I've said this many times over the past few days, and I'll say it again; I have never seen, and I never thought I'd see the kind of complete and utter destruction that I've witnessed here. I tell you, it boggles the mind, and it's just heartbreaking.

 

 

 

Joe, as you've probably heard, Senator Hillary Clinton has called for a 9/11-style probe into the federal government's response to this terrible disaster, President Bush says he intends to...

 

 

 

Alex, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I've just got to get this off my chest or my head is just going to explode. You know, I'm from an area in Florida we call the Redneck Riviera.

 

 

 

You've mentioned that once or twice.

 

 

 

Now, we've certainly seen our share of hurricanes down there. Maybe they weren't as destructive as Katrina, but we lived through Andrew, so we know a little something about hurricanes.

 

 

 

So, when I hear these people, these politicians, grandstanding for the TV cameras...Well, let me put it this way: when I was elected to Congress in 1994, I developed a reputation for going after both Democrats and Republicans.

 

 

 

Right, right.

 

 

 

And I do the same thing every day on my show, Scarborough Country.

 

 

 

Uh-huh.

 

 

 

You know, I've had people call me a right-winger, or say I'm nothing but a Bush toady - those people have obviously never watched Scarborough Country.

 

 

 

Yyyyeaaaah.

 

 

 

Because, if they had, they'd know that, just like I did in Congress, I'll call someone out if I think they're wrong, no matter what party they're in.

 

 

 

Mmmm-hmmm.

 

 

 

I won't accept talking points for answers, I don't care if those talking points come from the left or the right.

 

 

 

O-Kay.

 

 

 

And if there's anyone out there who doesn't believe me, I suggest they read my book, Rome Wasn't Burnt In a Day, where I chronicle the massive...What were we talking about?

 

 

 

Never mind, Joe, we're out of time for this segment, but thanks for that very informative report.

 

 

 

I mentioned the Redneck Riviera, right?

 

 

 

You did.

 

 

 

Just a second, it'll come back to me.

 

 

 

Joe Scarborough, live in Mississippi. Thanks again, Joe.

 

 

 

Oh - the hurricane!

 

 

 

Thanks again, Joe. Now let's talk to...Carlos? I think this should read Carl Quintanilla, who's reporting from New Orleans. Carl?

 

 

 

It's Carlos, Alex.

 

 

 

Since when?

 

 

 

I go by Carlos sometimes.

 

 

 

I don't remember you ever...never mind. So what's happening in New Orleans?

 

 

 

Alex, those of us who witnessed firsthand the thousands of people - most of them poor, most of them black - being forced into the Superdome without adequate food or water, and then herded onto buses at a slow, torturous pace, will never forget it. I know it's etched into my memory.

 

 

 

And I think there's no getting around the unpleasant fact that what we witnessed was a massive violation of these people's civil rights.

 

 

 

How so, Carl?

 

 

 

Carlos.

 

 

 

Whatever - what was the civil rights violation?

 

 

 

Were you listening? I just told you, most of these people were black.

 

 

 

And?

 

 

 

And, uh, did I mention they were poor?

 

 

 

Yes. I'm still not following you.

 

 

 

Well, it's just that, you know, they were...they were...No offense, Alex, but I don't think you can really understand what these people have gone through unless you've lived below the poverty line, "the man" forcing you to live day-to-day, always wondering where your next meal will come from.

 

 

 

You grew up in Beverly Hills, Carl!

 

 

 

That may be, but as a proud Spaniard, my heart will always be in old Napoli.

 

 

 

That's in Italy.

 

 

 

What's your point?

 

 

 

Never mind, Carlos. I understand New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin is with us now, he's in...Oh, it looks he doesn't wants us to mention his present location. Mayor Nagin, welcome to the show.

 

 

 

Thanks. Sorry I'm late, I tried to catch a bus to get here, but I'll be damned if you can find one in this town. Had to take a cab.

 

 

 

But you're standing right in front of...

 

 

 

Don't say anything about my location! I'm trying to keep a low profile right now, the CIA is after me.

 

 

 

I'm sorry, did you say the CIA is after you?

 

 

 

Do I stutter?? Yes, the CIA. They want to take me out for criticizing Bush.

 

 

 

That's a very serious charge, Mr. Mayor. Have you reported this to anyone?

 

 

 

I tried to, but I got the run-around. I called 411 and they wouldn't do sh*t. Just told me I had to call some other G*d damned number if I wanted help!

 

 

 

I think 911 is the number you should call if you think you're in danger.

 

 

 

That's exactly what that b*tch from 411 said! I guess you're all working from the same script.

 

 

 

I'm not...Mayor Nagin, we've seen a number of state, local and federal officials on television today, and there seems to be a recurrent...

 

 

 

To hell with TV interviews! I'm sick of all these people doing TV interviews! I want a moratorium on TV interviews!

 

 

 

But you're doing a TV interview right now.

 

 

 

The only reason I'm here right now is because people want answers, and they want them now. They want to know why it took so long for the federal government to respond. We need answers so we can prevent something like this from happening again!

 

 

 

You bring up a very good point, sir. People are asking why it took the federal government so long to respond, where the City of New Orleans' evacuation plan might have failed, if it did...

 

 

 

Hold up! Where the City of New Orleans' evacuation plan failed?? Is that why you wanted to talk to me - so you could try to pin the blame for this on the City?? We've got people that need help right now, so this is hardly the time to be asking who was to blame for what.

 

 

 

But you were saying that you want answers so that...

 

 

 

So, now you want go back and look at what I said in the past, pull out some quote and take it out of context. This is nothing but an ambush!

 

 

 

You just said...

 

 

 

This interview is over. There's diesel fumes coming from somewhere, anyway - I'm starting to get a headache. Taxi!

 

 

 

Well, that's all the time we have for tonight, I'm Alex Witt, thanks for watching MSNBC, be sure to tune in same tomorrow for the latest on hurricane Katrina. Or don't. Did I say that out loud?

 

See also: Part I

Monday Linkage (On Tuesday)

AYC asks about what's-her-name. Do you know?

Chad from In The Bullpen has a must-read Katrina post.

Equally important is Vodkapundit's post.

The Therapist believes analysts may have to revise their "Nagin" numbers - again. If you don't know who Nagin is, you must be watching a lot of television (and reading newspapers).

UPDATE: Looks like Jesse Jackson is at it again. The man just gives and gives.

The "Disaster Porn" Stars of Cable News (Part I)

Let's bring in Jack Cafferty now. Jack, was there a - I want to choose my words carefully, here - was there a failure on the part of the Governor of...

 

 

 

You're damned right there was, Aaron, and I don't know why you're tiptoeing around the issue. Mississippi's governor, Haley Barbour, is nothing but a Republican hack, and he's responsible for the death and suffering of an as yet unknown number of Mississippi's citizens...

 

 

 

Jack...

 

 

 

Does he care? Hell no!

 

 

 

Jack...

 

 

 

Why the hell is he getting a pass? The guy should be charged with negligent homicide and thrown in the pokey!

 

 

 

Jack...

 

 

 

I tell you, if I saw that son of a bitch right now, I'd put my hands around his throat and choke him until his eyeballs popped out of his...

 

 

 

Jack! I was going to ask you about Louisiana's Democratic Governor, Kathleen Blanco.

 

 

 

Blanco?

 

 

 

Yes, Blanco. Do you think...

 

 

 

So what do you want to do, Aaron? Do you want to point fingers while there are still bodies floating in the water?

 

 

 

The question was intended to...

 

 

 

What kind of crap is this, Brown?? The woman has her hands full dealing with this disaster, and you want want play the blame game??? That's a cheap shot! I swear, if you were here, I'd...

 

 

 

Let's go to Anderson Cooper, who's on the ground in Mississippi. Anderson...

 

 

 

Mississippi?!?!

 

 

 

Anderson, I've just been told that a number of local, state and federal officials are meeting at this very moment to...

 

 

 

Screw them, Aaron!

 

 

 

We get it, already - you're pissed off, you want answers, you're mad as hell and you're not going to take it any more, yada yada yada. Like I said, these people are meeting...

 

 

 

Aaron, I care more about the people that are suffering here right now...

 

 

 

Water?

 

 

 

No thanks, I've got plenty in the trailer. Aaron, there's a human dimension to this tragedy, and what these politicians don't realize...

 

 

 

Please - water!

 

 

 

Listen, we're doing interviews in about a half-hour. Talk to my producer, maybe we can squeeze you in.

 

 

 

I'm dying of thirst!

 

 

 

Great. Be sure to mention that when you're on camera.

 

 

 

Aaron, these people need food, they need....uh...

 

 

 

WATER!

 

 

 

Right, thanks. They need water, they need shelter, but most of all, they need to regain their dignity. I want to show you some footage now of a man standing outside in nothing but his underwear...

 

 

 

*CLICK*

 

 

 

Geraldo Rivera and Shepard Smith are both outside the Superdome in New Orleans - Shepard, what does it look like out there now that the area has been evacuated?

 

 

 

Paige, an eerie quiet has fallen over this area, and I want to show you someting I found on the ground here.

 

 

 

It's a toaster, Paige. You know, as an old southern boy, I can tell you that the people down here like their bread, and they like it toasted.

 

 

 

Paige, I just found some "D" batteries here. I think there's a distinct possibility that these batteries were, in the frenzied, hectic atmosphere of the evacuation, separated from the very toaster our own Shepard Smith now holds in his hands.

 

 

 

Toasters don't work on batteries, Geraldo.

 

 

 

Shep-O, perhaps in a moment of panic and hunger, some desperate soul attempted to fashion a power source that would allow him to enjoy a warm and hearty meal of toasted bread.

 

 

 

Or maybe these batteries fell out of a flashlight - who knows?

 

 

 

Paige, one can't help but wonder...

 

 

 

Paige, I just found a discarded cheese grater on the ground. You know, one can't help but think that this lonely grater, this simple yet highly functional kitchen tool, has seen happier times. Perhaps it was used to grate cheddar for nachos, maybe mozzarella for a pizza, possibly even parmesan for a nice pasta dinner...

 

 

 

Paige, there's an old light bulb on the ground here - a lone 60-watt bulb, broken and discarded, a metaphor for...

 

 

 

Paige, believe it or not I just found a man's wallet laying on the ground - It's even got some cash and credit cards in it. Somewhere out there is a man who's lost everything, even the very...

 

 

 

Geraldo, isn't that your drivers license in the wallet?

 

 

 

What?

 

 

 

That's your wallet!

 

 

 

Oh, uh...I guess it is. Must have fallen out of my pocket.

 

 

 

One second, Paige, I see someone walking by here - Excuse me, sir?

 

 

 

Yes?

 

 

 

Hey, how you doin' there, man?

 

 

 

What's up, bro?

 

 

 

What it be like, my man?

 

 

 

What's goin' down, negro?

 

 

 

Yo, yo, yo, what is the dizzle with this hurricashizzle?

 

 

 

Would you mind speaking English?

 

 

 

It's cool, man. I'm just "rapping" with you in the vernacular of the street. You know, as a fellow ethnic minority...

 

 

 

Give the "ethnic minority" crap a rest, dude - everyone knows your name is Jerry Rivers!

 

 

 

Hey, my man here knows...

 

 

 

I'm not your man, now would you please...

 

 

 

Whoa! Is that a gun under your coat?

 

 

 

That's definitely a gun.

 

 

 

Did you boost that from a gun shop?

 

 

 

He obviously took possession of it during the inevitable uprising that occurred in the aftermath of...

 

 

 

I did no such thing!

 

 

 

Don't worry, man, we're cool.

 

 

 

Yeah, we'll keep it on the lowdown.

 

 

 

I think you mean the down-low. Can you believe this cracker?

 

 

 

Listen! Both of you - I didn't steal this gun, I'm a police officer.

 

 

 

Police officer?!? Why aren't you out there helping these people?? Can't you see they're thirsty? They're thirsty!

 

 

 

Just let them, go, man! Why can't you just let those people walk out of there??

 

 

 

The area's been evacuated!

 

 

 

Shouldn't you be looking for survivors?? There are survivors out there, sir - what do you intend to do about it?? What are you going to do about it? He won't answer me! He won't answer me!

 

 

 

Find 'em, man! You gotta find 'em! Don't leave my people behind!

 

 

 

I was trying to get to work when you stopped me. Get out of my way.

 

 

 

Paige, I hardly know what to say. What our viewers have just witnessed here on live television is an example of the authorities finally taking responsibility, and taking action - action that could save someone's life - as a direct result of pressure from the media. I've gotta tell you, some days it feels good to be a reporter.

 

 

 

I hear you, Shep. You know, when I think about what might have happened if we weren't here today, I...I...sorry, you're going to have to give me a minute, man.

 

 

 

*CLICK*

 

 

 

I'm Alex Witt, thanks for tuning in to MSNBC...

 

To be continued...

UPDATE: Part II

My Interview(?) With Sobek

I thought this was off the record.

Never trust a lawyer.