Dan Rather: INXS

So, Dan, tell us how you think you did tonight.

 

 

 

Dave, for the record - no pun intended - I would have to say that after careful consideration of the matter, I really believe that I rocked the house, no doubt about it.

 

 

 

You do know we're doing original songs tonight, right?

 

 

 

Absolutely.

 

 

 

Well, mate, that was definitely one rocking tune...

 

 

 

Slow down there, young man, a fella can only take so much adulation at one time.

 

 

 

I was going to say that it was a rocking tune, but there's a bit of a problem.

 

 

 

Too edgy for INXS?

 

 

 

No, it's just...

 

 

 

Think I need to work the crowd a bit more?

 

 

 

That's not it at all...

 

 

 

Is it the suit? Should I wear something a little more casual on stage?

 

 

 

It's just that we're pretty sure we've heard the song before.

 

 

 

That's what I was going for - the kind of tune that a regular joe could listen to and think to himself, "You know, I'm not sure if I've heard this song before, but I would certainly feel confident in recommending it to my friends and family members."

 

 

 

You are aware that Lynyrd Skynyrd wrote a song, also titled Free Bird, with the exact same music and lyrics, aren't you?

 

 

 

Well, I'm not sure when this Skinner guy wrote his song, but I wrote that some time ago. I'm sure you noticed when I turned my song in this week that I'd had it professionally printed.

 

 

 

Well, mate, if you take a close look at this document you gave us, you can see some fine print at the bottom of the page that says "Lynyrd Skynyrd's Greatest Hits," how do you explain that?

 

 

 

I'm not sure. I will say that there are some partisan rock and roll operatives, particularly among my fellow rockers, who'd like to see me in the bottom three this week.

 

 

 

Listen, mate, I'm afraid this is a violation of the rules of the show.

 

 

 

I don't know where this is coming from, but there's a climate of fear running through this show, stronger than I have ever seen in the more than four weeks I've been here.

 

 

 

Nevertheless, rules are rules...

 

 

 

I'm sure some of my fans may be wondering if I've broken those rules. Folks, nothing could be further from the truth.

 

 

 

I'm sorry, Dan, I'm afraid you're just not right for our band, INXS.

 

 

 

Dude, are you crying?

 

 

 

NO!

 

 

 

Rock on, Dan Rather!

 

 

 

*Sniff* Courage.

 

Encore!

 

Previous INXS posts: Mr Stick Figure: INXS, Dry Cleaner: INXS, Burger King: INXS

Comments

[Steve O]

I am busting a gut here!

If I were a rich man, I'd try to sign you up to take on Jon Stewart, who as you recall also has a fake news show.

[Preston Taylor Holmes]

Rock on, John. I hope these posts don't disappear when the show is over. Or maybe I do. I don't know.

[Beth]

Hey, Rather didn't WIN? THE HORROR! Must have been dead air time or something.

(Even if you do cancel INXS when this train wreck is finished, keep Skanky Navarro around for the creepy factor.)

[robin]

OK, that's priceless. Dan finally has the platform he deserves. But I am mystified why he would choose Lynyrd Skynyrd--Dixie Chicks would be more his speed. But, rock on, old dude.

[John from WuzzaDem]

I think he's having trouble hitting those high notes these days.

[Kiki B.]

I am feeling the love now! You can't get much better than a Dan Rather, INXS crossover. :-) Dan Rather rocking the house? ROFL. Oh my! Now THAT is a picture. BTW, wasn't Dan Rather the lead singer for Lynyrd Skynyrd at some point in time? He just looks like he belongs in that genre...Lol.

[CollegePundit]

"Trouble hitting the high notes", John? Could it be from finally taking one too many shots to the rocks? You know, from talking so damn much you just want to kick him in the Dannies to shut the hell up and fade into obscurity?

WOW! I am bitter tonight.

[Kiki B.]

Here are some fresh made sweets to counteract that bitterness, CP. Just make sure that the officials handing them out in LA aren't hoarding all of them in their houses. Remind them that those sweets were sent by me to you. ;-)

[bird of paridise]

DAN BLATHER and his lies whats next for this scoundrel? 60 minutes TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK KABOOM