Al Qaeda: "Plenty Of Blame To Go Around"
Welcome to Good Morning America, I'm Diane Sawyer, and I'll be smiling for the entire first half of the show, even when it's inappropriate. Be sure to stay tuned, because later I'll be demonstrating expressions of deep empathy, genuine concern and profound sadness.
Yesterday, Al Qaeda released yet another videotape of the mysterious man known only as Azam the American, who threatened terrorist attacks against Los Angeles and Melbourne.
This morning, we bring you a Good Morning America exclusive. We have just received another tape featuring a masked Al Qaeda representative who speaks fluent English, and had some rather harsh criticism for American government officials.
We haven't yet been able to verify whether or not this is in fact the same person who appeared on yesterday's tape, and I haven't seen it yet, but from what I've been told it is quite frightening, so viewer discretion is advised.
Make no mistake, infidels - the recent events in your southern territories are further evidence that you have angered Allah.
And you risk incurring even greater wrath by engaging in finger-pointing and politicization!
Allah believes there is plenty of blame to go around, but the liars at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue are ultimately responsible for the incompetence that your own Keith Olbermann is exposing on a nightly basis!
Rid yourselves of your current leaders or suffer the consequences!
At least your federal leaders.
Do not blame your state or local officials! Do they not shoulder enough of a burden just getting their infidel employees to come to work on a day when Allah bestows sunshine upon you?
Blame those officials, and Allah will literally smite you in your infidel nose!
It was Allah who flooded the buses! Do not blame the mayor of...Oops.
Go to commercial, Bob. Go to commercial!
Other infidels:
Do not BS Allah: You're no "moderate"!
The white-haired infidel has gone too far!
Note: Thanks to Mrs R. (AKA Mrs. WuzzaDem) at AYC for the Photoshop assistance.
Priceless.
And, I'm ashamed to say, Diane Sawyer is from my hometown, Louisville, KY.
Posted by: Jeff H | September 13, 2005 at 05:40 AM
The good senator sure could use some of those ellipses right now. . . .
Posted by: robin | September 13, 2005 at 07:38 AM
My coffee nearly went out my nose.
Very funny.
Laughing leads to crying.
Posted by: vladimir makovitsa | September 13, 2005 at 07:45 AM
Now . . . MY eye is twitching.
-T
Posted by: The Therapist | September 13, 2005 at 10:05 AM
You really should have a doctor look at that.
Posted by: John from WuzzaDem | September 13, 2005 at 10:13 AM
So who can ever trust the reptiles on GMA its nothing but a one big show and display counting all the idiots you see standing outside the GMA building waving as the camera pans on them
Posted by: bird of paridise | September 13, 2005 at 12:51 PM
You owe me the beer that I just spit out all over the place.
Posted by: Vinnie | September 13, 2005 at 04:12 PM
Why is everyone always holding blogger responsible for their pie hole spray? You owe me for the beer! You owe me for the coffee! You need to buy me a new monitor on account of I can't keep my beverages in my orifices.
This is the kind of crap that will destroy the humor blog industry under a mountain of "you owe me's". I for one think it is high time Americans took responsibility for their own swallowing.
Posted by: Pile On® | September 13, 2005 at 05:06 PM
Pile On® is back from the dead!
Posted by: John from WuzzaDem | September 13, 2005 at 06:06 PM
Yes, so much of what John writes is hard to swallow. Oh, you said the readers are unable to swallow. Sorry, my bad. I'll be eating my words now.
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel | September 13, 2005 at 07:11 PM
Who was that masked ma...woman?
Posted by: jesusland joe | September 13, 2005 at 07:39 PM
I wasn't really dead peoples.
John is using what bloggers like to call "a figger of speech".
Posted by: Pile On® | September 13, 2005 at 08:02 PM
Pile On®: "I for one think it is high time Americans took responsibility for their own swallowing."
Wasn't that in Clinton's second inaugural address?
Posted by: Jeff H | September 13, 2005 at 08:23 PM
Now who didn't see that coming?
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel | September 13, 2005 at 11:20 PM
I spit. I don't swallow.
On another note, I would like to draw John's attention to a satirical blog I stumbled across. It's rather amusing. BTW, since I mentioned this blog, you all can't go stampeding over there, and neglect Wuzzadem. You must read both. ;-)
http://www.eyesontheballnews.com/
Posted by: Kiki B. | September 14, 2005 at 12:04 AM
More from GMA and its malarkey makers and just look at all those idiots waving to the cameras just outside the GMA building when the cameras pan on them what crock the whole damn news media is
Posted by: bird of paridise | September 15, 2005 at 12:28 PM