By Power Possessed (A Blog Noir Tale)

Hello, Jamie.

 

 

 

 

Hi, Teddy. Thanks for coming.

 

 

 

 

I came as soon as I got your message, doll. No, don't say anything - I know why you called, and I feel the same way, baby, and now you and me got all the time in the world.

 

 

 

 

Oh, uh, that ain't why I called, Teddy. I just need to talk.

 

 

 

 

Oh, right, sure, doll...Well, make it quick, I'm in kind of a hurry.

 

 

 

 

I think I messed up, Teddy. I think I messed up good.

 

 

 

 

What'd you do, stiff somebody?

 

 

 

 

No, it's not that...

 

 

 

 

You ice somebody?

 

 

 

 

Nothing like that Teddy, it ain't like that at all. I...I built a wall, Teddy.

 

 

 

 

Sweetheart, we all build walls - we spend our lives building walls between ourselves and our friends, our families, our responsibilities to our constituents, Senate ethics committee rules...

 

 

 

 

It ain't that kind of wall, Teddy. This was a wall between intelligence agencies. I'm afraid somebody might get hurt...

 

 

 

 

Listen, Gorelick; you shut your yap, and you keep it shut if you know what's good for you!

 

 

 

 

Can it, Ben-Veniste!

 

 

 

 

Look, Teddy - the boys at The Commission ain't happy. They're worried the broad might start shooting her mouth off, and the last thing we need is for a bunch of reporters to start nosing around.

 

 

 

 

A lot you know, wise guy. Most reporters couldn't care less if a Dem screws up. Am I right, boys?

 

 

 

 

You said it, Teddy. And even if people do get wise, most of them got real short memories, right, Bobby?

 

 

 

 

Yeah, like total amnesia, Billy boy. They'll let you get away with just about anything, eh, Teddy?

 

 

 

 

You said it, Bobby.

 

 

 

 

But, Teddy, suppose some reporter does come snooping around, asking questions?

 

 

 

 

Then you clam up, you got it? You say nothin'!

 

 

 

 

But what if I gotta say something?

 

 

 

 

Then you pull the ol' switcheroo.

 

 

 

 

The ol' switcheroo?

 

 

 

 

That's right. Here, I'll show you - you make like you're a reporter, and I'll make like I'm you.

 

 

 

 

OK, um, hey, Gorelick, what gives with this wall you built?

 

 

 

 

What are you, crackin' wise? Ain't you seen these poll numbers?

 

 

 

 

Yeah, I get it, but what poll do I talk about?

 

 

 

 

Any poll! You can always find something that looks bad in those things, see? And remember, keep talking - the longer you talk, the less time they got for follow-up questions, you got it?

 

 

 

 

Yeah, I got it.

 

 

 

 

And if that don't throw 'em off, you can always make with the waterworks.

 

 

 

 

Waterworks - you mean cry?

 

 

 

 

That's right, sister, you cry like a baby. Works every time, I tell you..

 

 

 

 

Yeah, works every time.

 

 

 

 

Dammit, Georgie! How many times have I told you the waterworks is strictly for dames?

 

 

 

 

But it worked for me, Teddy!

 

 

 

 

Sure it did - if you were tryin' to look like a dame, I'd say it worked like a charm.

 

 

 

 

But, Teddy...

 

 

 

 

Hit the bricks!

 

 

 

 

But, Teddy...

 

 

 

 

I said hit the bricks, Betsy Wetsy!

 

 

 

 

Look, toots, you got nothin' to worry about from reporters. Now bloggers, that's another story.

 

 

 

 

Bloggers, Teddy?

 

 

 

 

That's right, bloggers. If one of those weasels get a hold of you, well, you might as well change your name to mud.

 

 

 

 

But, what can they do to me, Teddy?

 

 

 

 

You wanna know what bloggers can do to you? You just take a walk down to Whitey's Bar any night, and you ask the man at the end of the bar - he'll tell you all about it. But I'm warnin' you, it ain't a pretty story. I gotta go, doll, I'll see you around.

 

 

 

 

 

Sure, Teddy, I'll see you around. Thanks for stopping by.

 

 

 

 

Hmm. I wonder who the man at Whitey's Bar is.

 

 

 

 

I'll show those bloggers, as soon as I work up the courage. Whitey, another round!

 

More: The Right Place. A Blog For All, The MaryHunter, The Jawa Report.

 

UPDATE: Anyone care to connect the dots? Anyone?

Comments

[Cheap Bimbo]

My eyes have seen the glory. WazzaDem has surpassed itself beyond greatness. I stand in awe!

[Pile On®]

Yeah, WhozaDEm kicks ass.

[seawitch]

Oh my!! Thank goodness I read this one at home instead of work. Great one!!

[Jeff H]

Stunning execution, my man!!! BRAVO!!! BRA-VO!!!

[CollegePundit]

Bwa ha ha haaaa! That Dan Rather pic is awesome. Great work, as always.

[robin]

Man, those Democrats are sharp dressers. I feel the need to buy a hat and boa. Wait a minute--I'm still thinking of Dave Navarro.

[John from WuzzaDem]

Dave Navarro - Heh.

[brandon davis]

kudos ...can't simply just look, titter, giggle, guffaw, and fall off my chair laughing uproariously ...and anonymously click to another site ...this time.

ATTABOY. WAY2GO. HUZZAH!!!.

...simply extraordinary. You've defined the genre with this one.

[Oxen]

Oh man this one's funny!!

[beaupeep]

Hilarious! (Or is that Hillary-ous?)

[Rightwingsparkle]

Too funny.

I think you have a gift..;-)

[Jeff H]

Who would give this guy a gift?

Oh, Mrs. Wuzza maybe, sure, but who else?

[CollegePundit]

Jeff, I gave ol' John a gift. A gift of some of my BlogShares, sure, but a gift nonetheless.

/shameless plug

[John from WuzzaDem]

Yeah, CP's gonna make me rich - rich, I tell ya!

Then I can blow this popsicle stand.

[Sue Bob]

I CAN'T BREATHE!!! This is priceless!!

[Mr. Right]

John,

This bit is just simply brilliant!

Thanks for the link, but I am afraid my funny is trumped by yours!

Way to go!

[Wonderduck]

Hmmm... is that Teddy Welles from "Touch of Evil" I spy? How appropriate!

[j. blair]

Most Excellent Dude!

[Ray]

***** 5 Star rating on this one. Great job. And as always keep up the great work. I needed that today.

[Jeff H]

5 out of how many stars, Ray?

[Beck]

Really great Photoshop work man. And funny. That too.