Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn In 'Funeral Crashers'

You can't Make this stuff up:

The family of a Marine who was killed in Iraq is furious with Lt. Gov. Catherine Baker Knoll for showing up uninvited at his funeral this week, handing out her business card and then saying "our government" is against the war.

And now, the adventures of two wacky Democratic Lieutenant Governors who crash military funerals looking for a little face time with the press (and maybe even a campaign contribution or two on the side).

 

So what's on the agenda for tomorrow, buddy?

 

Oh, man, I've got us lined up with a huge military funeral. There's gonna be hundreds of people there.

 

Yeah, but will there be any...

 

Press? You know it, man!

 

Sweet! How'd you manage to swing an invite to that?

 

Hey, man, we're Lieutenant Governors now.We don't need to wait for an invitation. Hell, they'll probably thank us for showing up.

 

Right, I keep forgetting.

 

You've got to stop thinking like a civilian, man.

 

The next day:

 

This is one happening funeral, man.

 

Didn't I tell you? I'm just gonna work the crowd a little, maybe hand out a business card or two.

 

Good idea. Heads up, there's a chick coming this way.

 

Hey, darlin', what brings you here today?

 

This is my husband's funeral. Who invited you?

 

Hey, it's cool, we're Lieutenant Governors.

 

Yeah, we thought maybe if you had a couple of high-profile politicians here it might help you drum up some publicity for the event, you know?

 

I don't want any publicity - my husband died!

 

Yeah, listen, about that - major bummer. Really.

 

Yeah, major.

 

Don't you have any shame?

 

Whew! Man, I'm glad she's gone.

 

We should probably cut her a little slack - you know, what with her husband croaking and all.

 

I guess you're right. Hey, they're bringing in the dead guy - are we supposed to salute, or what?

 

We're not in the army, man - we're Lieutenant Governors.

 

So what are we supposed to do?

 

I guess we just, you know, show the proper respect.

 

Right

 

All right, dude!

 

YEAH! Wooooo! You rock! I mean rocked!

 

 

Is it just me, or is this crowd a major downer?

 

I know what you mean, man. I'm definitely picking up a very gloomy vibe here. Hey, do you see what I see?

 

Wow!

 

 

She's got it all, man - microphone, cameraman, live satellite feed.

 

I'm talking to her as soon as this priest guy shuts his yap.

 

Hey, I saw her first.

 

You talked to the reporters at the last funeral.

 

Because you talked to them at the two funerals before that.

 

All right, we'll both talk to her, but don't hog the camera.

 

Later:

 

Ladies and gentlemen of the press, if you could just gather around here, we'd like to say a few words. Hand me those microphones, please.

 

First of all, I'd like to thank all of you for coming out here to see us today.

 

We didn't come to see you, we came for the funeral!

 

Oh, right, the funeral. Hey, mad props to whoever put this thing together.

 

Seriously - mad props.

 

What the hell's wrong with you?

 

I'll tell you what's wrong with me, man - I'm really fed up with Bush and his whole preemptive, war-mongering, you know, foreign policy. It's just total BS if you ask me. Thanks for that question.

 

Yeah, don't get us wrong - I mean, we want to support the troops and everything, but they're not making it easy for us. I mean, come on - they're killing people. That's just not cool.

 

Just get out already!

 

Exactly, man, exactly. I mean, we've just got to get out of Iraq, or Iran, or whatever it is and, you know, don't go where people don't want us. Seems pretty simple to me.

 

Good point, man.

 

How dare you come in here grandstanding for the cameras and making political speeches! I want you out here of here right now!

 

Hey, hey, no need to get testy.

 

Forget it, man. Let's blow this place. I can tell when I'm not wanted somewhere.

 

Don't you think you owe us an apology?

 

All right, sorry if we harshed your buzz and, you know, crashed your little party.

 

Later:

 

So what's up for tomorrow, man?

 

Well, I hear there's a funeral for a local cop across town tomorrow morning.

 

Should be a lot of cameras there.

 

Right on. And what better place to talk to the press about police brutality?

 

You are a genius, man.

 

Hey, how do you think I got to be Lieutenant Governor?

 

Comments

[Jay]

Thanks for the laugh. What that woman did however is not a laughing matter. Keep up the good work.

[Cheap Bimbo]

It's so DEM!

[robin]

Killer material! even though it was handed to you on a silver platter.

[Jeff H]

Well, I just got back from lunch, but now I wish I hadn't eaten anything. Dry heaves are better than the alternative.

That f***ing b**** w**** of a Lt. Gov. they've got in PA needs to be horse-whipped.

[CollegePundit]

^^^^

Yarrrrr! What he said.

[KJ]

So did they score any chicks? Are bereaving chicks easier to pick up?

[KJ]

I don't see why a Lieutenant Governor would be unwelcomed at a military funeral. I mean, she was a commissioned officer, right?

[Buckley F. Williams]

Outstanding stuff John. Keep up the great work!

[bird of paridise]

Dont these demacrats have any shame? its just more goulishness by these demacratic bone pickers

[kristin williams]

hey Vaughn and Wilson I think should come to my next
20th birthday and come and choose the right girl for both you.