Burger King: INXS
Tre over at 21st Century Paladin has been blogging "Rock Star: INXS", but somehow he missed this episode.
Welcome to Burger King, can I take your order?
Picture this, my friend: Thousands of people packed into a stadium, all waiting to see INXS - one of the world's greatest bands, and you are the one who just served them lunch. It's a dream come true, and I'm here to make it happen for you, my brother.
What are you talking about?
Rock on!
Who are you?
I'm Dave Navarro. But you and I are no different, my friend. I put my pants on one leg at a time just as you do.
Ummm, OK.
But once my pants are on, I accessorize with a feather boa and a cool hat.
Why are you telling me this?
And I have a pierced nipple.
Yuk!
You know, the band would really love to place their own order, but they're going to be very busy laying down their next album, so for now I'll be acting as their liaison.
What band?
It's true, mate. Dave speaks for the band.
Who are you?
You ask a lot of questions, and that's good. That's just what we're looking for.
Did you want to order or what?
I know what you're going through, man. You know, when I joined the Chili Peppers they were like a 'crew' at a 'business' that existed long before I got there and I had to fit in. I had to make it my own, man.
I'm sorry, we don't have chili peppers here.
That's good feedback, mate. That's just the kind of thing we're looking for.
Look, if you're not going to order I need you to move out of the way and let the other customers through.
Yes! You nailed it, mate. You were assertive, aggressive and efficient. A great performance.
I'm not sure what's going on here, but...
I know how you feel, bro. When I left Jane's Addiction I really didn't know what was going on, what I was going to do with my life. I had to do some serious soul searching.
Hi, I'm Brooke Burke. I play a vital role in this process.
What process? I really don't know what any of you are talking about.
He's got a point there. The process needs work.
All right, it looks like we have some work to do. The process isn't clear, and that's not fair to you as an artist. We'll be back next week.
OK, well thanks for...
We'll be back next week!
What a bunch of weirdos. Welcome to Burger King, can I take your order?
I'm Ryan Seacrest, and this is American Burger.
I wonder if Taco Bell is hiring.
Mmmm...tacos.
Posted by: CollegePundit | July 18, 2005 at 07:04 AM
Mmmmm...Brooke Burke covered in taco sauce...bouncing on that big ball...
Posted by: Jeff H | July 18, 2005 at 08:42 AM
Funny Stuff, John...
I linked it.
Posted by: Retired Geezer | July 18, 2005 at 09:29 AM
Ooooh, all these Ahem Rock and Roll (or whatever they call it nowsdays) musicians all sound alike to say nothing of looking alike -- what with the showerless 5 day old look and various body mutilations. Burger King Man is awfully patient. I wouldn't have that patience, I'd tell whomever to tune his guitar elsewhere. Of course I suffer from bleach block . . . Oh by the way, did you know Paula may be replaced by Whitney?
Posted by: Cheap Bimbo | July 18, 2005 at 12:01 PM
I want the boa. And the hat. Keep the rock stars.
Posted by: robin | July 18, 2005 at 07:03 PM
Whitney replacing Paula?
Can a crack whore fest be far behind?
Posted by: Jeff H | July 19, 2005 at 06:09 AM
I finally realized what this post needs: more cowbell. And less Navarro.
Posted by: tee bee | July 20, 2005 at 02:12 PM
Less Navarro??
Sacrilege!!!
Posted by: John from WuzzaDem | July 20, 2005 at 02:15 PM