Schiavo Autopsy Results Are In

THE SCHIAVO AUTOPSY IS IN:

According to circumstancial evidence, Professor Glenn Reynolds received several nasty e-mails during the "debate" over the fate of Terri Schiavo.

The full extent of the damage caused to Reynolds' self-esteem by this boo-boo cannot be accurately determined until this office has had ample opportunity to evaluate subsequent posts on the subject, although palpation to the area produces an audible 'whining' sound.

Mild damage to left femur, possibly caused by slipping while engaged in dancing of jig (as was done by many bloggers and journalists subsequent to the release, but prior to the review, of Ms. Schiavo's autopsy results).

Hypertrophy of tendons and carpal ligaments of the right wrist is consistent with type of carpal tunnel syndrome often associated with excessive use of a computer mouse, and was most likely caused by excessive surfing of the Internet in attempt to locate articles or blog posts that include only data concurring with Reynolds' own assertions and opinions.

Examination of gastrointestinal system shows evidence Reynolds was long ago sick of hearing about the whole Schiavo 'brouhaha', although his latest post indicates a failure to resist taking one last jab by linking to the diagnosis of doctors Catherine Larkin and Neal Boortz.

Correction: Upon further examination, it appears Catherine Larkin is a reporter, and Boortz is a writer with a degree in law. Boortz may soon require treatment for a fractured femur.

Meanwhile: Michelle Malkin has actually read the report. Is she too lazy to read Bloomberg.com?

Comments

[Sue Dohnim]

PEOPLE, WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS, THERE'S A WAR ON!

Thanks, John. You, Frank J., and Scott Ott (Scrappleface) make my days brighter.

[John from WuzzaDem]

Hey, Sue's right! I forgot there was a war on.

I fault Glenn for not reminding us any time someone blogs about something unrelated to the war.

[Donnah]

...that isn't one of his own pet non-war-related subjects.

[John from WuzzaDem]

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

I NEED A NEW RAZOR!