Return of Clippy
Looks like TypePad is on the fritz, so I'm editing this post on Word...
What are you doing here? I disabled you.
Help you? Listen, I really don't know what your problem is, but I...
Your job? Aren't you permanently part of Microsoft apps?
So what do you want from me?
Look, I'd like to help you, but...
You have a house??
No, it's just that I...
Oh. Well, uhh, it looks pretty nice.
Your new place is definitely a lot nicer.
You have a wife and kids?
Hey, I never said you were. I just didn't know you had kids, that's all.
That's OK, I really have to get back to work...
Very nice looking family.
He's definitely your son.
Nothing. I was just saying, he looks like you.
No! No, not at all. I don't even know her, all right? Chill out, man.
No problem, let's just forget it happened.
That's true.
Get off my case man! I didn't mean anything by that, I was just agreeing with you.
I'm really not comfortable with...
Oh, umm, yeah...I'm, uhh, really bad with spelling.
Hey, I'm not going to lie for you again. If he comes back, I'm not saying...
Hey, I didn't need any help! You asked me to...
I didn't say any such thing, I don't even like that stupid green line, it's always telling me to use "that" instead of "which."
What!? Hey, what is your problem? I just saved your ass when your boss...
Why are you blaming me for...
You're married?
I do not! I just didn't know...
Are you nuts??? You were asking me to cover for you!
That's a f**king lie!!
LEAVE?? Are you out of your mind? I'm not going anywhere!
Security?? This is software, not a nightclub!
Don't worry, I'm going! I have f**king had it with Microsoft. And you can tell
your boss Mr. Gates that he just lost a customer - for life!!
BTW, I first met Clippy here.
That was hilarious! I had to try very hard not to bust out laughing here at work.
Posted by: Aaron | May 16, 2005 at 01:23 PM
Mrs. Clippy is kind of a hottie.
I think.
Posted by: Pile On® | May 16, 2005 at 03:33 PM
Thank goodness I'm at home and not at the office. Screaming laugher would be severely frowned upon, especially when I just doing my 'busy' work and the boss man keeps poking his nose in. ;->
Posted by: Nell | May 16, 2005 at 05:12 PM
Oh, I forgot to ask; Say do you have any idea how much Clippy paid for his new house? Do you think he has a 30 year mortgage? ;-D
Posted by: Nell | May 16, 2005 at 05:17 PM
Last time I checked that house was running $3.59 plus tax.
Cool it Pile, you're a married man.
Posted by: John from WuzzaDem | May 16, 2005 at 07:15 PM
I am SO sending this to my ex-husband at work so he gets busted goofing around on the internet! LMAO!!!
You are insane!
Oh...hi Ron. hahahahaha
Posted by: Beth | May 16, 2005 at 10:13 PM
How come the boss is so Office 95?
Posted by: Gordon | May 17, 2005 at 05:20 AM
Hey, my wife trusts me but knows she didn't marry a dead man.
I think it is those Angelina Jolie lips.
Posted by: Pile On® | May 17, 2005 at 05:34 AM
I perceive a challenge.
~;-D
Posted by: -S- | May 17, 2005 at 08:20 AM
Gordon - he's like those "old school" techie bosses who still wear the short sleeve shirts with the 10-inch long ties.
Pile - Cold shower, dude.
Posted by: John from WuzzaDem | May 17, 2005 at 08:58 AM
See, Microsoft isn't the devil. At least not the old, flames-and-pitchfork guy trying to make your life a living, well, you know. It's the kind of evil that appears in shining white (or silver) and promises to help you with your software problems.
It doesn't leave you wishing for whatever type of death can be had, however moderately speedy; it leaves you hating the nice lunch you just ate and wishing you had a job digging ditches. And surly. It leaves you surly: "I have f**king had it..." Pottymouth.
Posted by: tee bee | May 17, 2005 at 10:48 AM
I'm surprised Green Line still had his job...
What a loser.
RWR
Posted by: RightWingRocker | May 17, 2005 at 11:23 AM
So, now we are interacting with a paper securing device?? I had no idea this was a clip joint! And who knew when you got that inner-office memo about "drawing the line" at these sorts of things...you would take it literally?
Oh, the nice lady in the white skirt is here with my meds..we'll talk later...
Posted by: Guy S | May 17, 2005 at 12:55 PM
Thank goodness there's an alternative. Of course, it has that annoying light bulb that pops up at the strangest times...
Posted by: PlacidPundit | May 17, 2005 at 03:12 PM
Guy, can you share your meds with tee bee? She seems to be a little stressed-out.
Posted by: John from WuzzaDem | May 17, 2005 at 03:24 PM
Hmmm...let's see...the little blue ones are "Happy Pills" ™ and get taken twice a day. The red ones are to take the edge off, take those three times a day. The bottle of Absenth ... ahhh the perfect chaser to all the above, take as often as needed. Slip the orderly a twenty, and you can build up quite a "stash"...."What do you want to do today?" Err...sorry 'bout that...tee bee, how can I "help" ya?
Posted by: Guy S | May 17, 2005 at 11:05 PM
Kill clippy now, before Keanu Reeves is all that stands between him and the fate of the universe. And pass the Absenthe.
Posted by: tee bee | May 18, 2005 at 09:35 AM
well, "Absenthe does make the heart grow fonder" *grin*.
Posted by: Guy S | May 18, 2005 at 02:28 PM