A Rather Fond Farewell
Good evening, I'm Dan Rather, and welcome to a very special farewell edition of 60 Minutes II.
Dan, with you it's always been about the story. It's been a privilege to work along side you.
Right back atcha, Mr. Pelley. Tip of the stetson to you.
For the record, I want to make it clear that this cancellation is due to ratings, nothing more.
With Dan, it's always been about integrity.
You know it, Pelley. My friends, 60 Minutes has impacted our culture in ways I never would have imagined. Just this morning I heard a commercial for a some medication or other.
With Dan, it's always been about the erection.
Dan, I'm pretty sure that commercial says "erections lasting longer then four hours," not 60 minutes.
Leslie, it really doesn't matter how long the erection lasts, what's important is the unit of measurement used to describe that length of time for which that erection is maintained. Could be they said 240 minutes, I can't be sure.
Ever notice how excited people get when they have an erection?
I have indeed, sir. But regardless of how long one has an erection, how excited one might be, or whether or not one has a serious medical problem, it goes without saying that I'm proud to have served as your humble correspondent for so long.
Dan, I think I can say with the utmost confidence that you are largely responsible for the current success of both CBS News and 60 Minutes II, and for the way in which the public perceives us.
High praise indeed, Mr. Simon. Tip of the Stetson to you.
And Dan, we here at 60 Minutes Sunday will continue the tradition of honest reporting that has become the hallmark of CBS News. We call it as we see it. Right down the middle, no bias, just the facts.
Of that I have no doubt, Mr. Bradley. Tip of the Stetson to you. I'm told that our own Vicki Mabrey has has landed a new position with an overseas outfit. Vicki, congratulations.
Lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu!!
Appreciate the kind words, Vicki, right back atcha. And with that, ladies and gentlemen, I bid goodnight, and have a plesant tomorrow. Tip of the Stetson to you. And once again, folks--courage.
Linked with Wizbang's Carnival of the Trackbacks XII.
Excellent!
Posted by: Joatmoaf | May 20, 2005 at 05:58 AM
Lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu!! Right back at ya. ;-D
Posted by: Nell | May 20, 2005 at 06:26 AM
John, I don't understand why your straightforward, honest, unbiased political reporting is not more widely referenced among the MSM (or anybody). There's no finagling on the hallowed pages of Wuzzadem. No siree, bob. Tip of the beanie to you.
Posted by: robin | May 20, 2005 at 07:31 AM
Oh, sweet angel of photoshopping. I want a poster of Dan in his native garb.
Posted by: tee bee | May 20, 2005 at 09:29 AM
ROTFLMAO! I'm linking up to ya on this one!
Posted by: The MaryHunter | May 22, 2005 at 12:22 PM
Why do I always bust out laughing when I come over here to yo crib?
Posted by: Preston Taylor Holmes | May 22, 2005 at 07:48 PM
Could be that you're mentally deranged, Preston. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Posted by: John from WuzzaDem | May 22, 2005 at 08:38 PM
Ouch!! I hurt my hand by pounding it on my desk in an uncontrollable fit of laughter!
Posted by: Sue Bob | May 23, 2005 at 11:42 AM
Danny blather whats he willing to do for his credibility? he is in dire streights becuase he lied and he is out tpp bad so sad for the liberals niw lets get PETER JENNINGS
Posted by: bird of paridise | May 24, 2005 at 01:29 PM
George W. Bush is a scumbag and a traitor. His supporters need to die in a car fire.
Posted by: ShadtheFish | April 05, 2007 at 07:30 PM
You had better march your rear-end upstairs and finish your homework right now, mister!
Posted by: Shad's Mom | April 06, 2007 at 09:51 AM