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I'll remember this image more than any other.
Jeff at Think Sink remembers his dad.
St. Wendler at Another Rovian Conspiracy Says R.I.P.
As does Ace.
And Rusty.
Greg at Catscape asks for a moment of silence.
Confederate Yankee appears to be live-blogging.
Florida Cracker: "Terri Schiavo died today, following a lengthy execution."
Are You Conservative? wants to knows who's in charge. So do I.
I was going to post something else about Terri Schiavo.
Then I saw this from Vince Aut Morire.
I'm not a Christian, but I think it's fitting.
Enough. No more arguing. I'll let her die in peace.
Update: This is my last post on Terri Schiavo. The site will be back to "normal" soon, I'm not sure when.
What if Terri Schiavo were a five-year-old child with no apparent disability, and the "rule of law" said she should be starved to death?
What if you saw that five-year-old on television begging for a drink of water and saying she was in pain?
How many of you would be concerned with states rights or separation of powers then?
How many people would be able to say that this "very personal matter" should be "left to the courts to decide", and then just forget it was happening?
Happy protester(?) laughs it up outside the hospice
where Terri Schiavo lies dying of thirst.
His parents must be very proud.
Well, you're almost there assholes. Terri Schiavo's almost dead.
Pretty soon you'll sail into the end zone, then you can spike the ball, do a victory dance, pull your pants down and moon all those damned Christians, right-wingers and pro-lifers, then wipe your ass on the goal post just for spite.
And just think, pretty soon Terri will be in a coma.
"See, I told you she was a vegetable."
Self-fulfilling prophecy, huh?
I must say though, I'll really miss the lively conversation that's been going on at different blogs over the past few days. And I'm not just talking about "leftie" blogs. No, it seems we've finally found some common ground, and the rabid pro-starvation advocates are cooperating in a bi-partisan effort to wish someone dead.
Many of them make excellent points, too. Who could forget these classics:
Stop beating the damn dead horse--it ain't waking up!
I can't wait. Bush is going to get his ass handed to him when she finally kicks it.
Let's hope the Supreme Court will again refuse to hear the case.
Jesus, hopefully soon this thing that should be a PRIVATE MATTER will be off our screens. I'm SICK TO DEATH OF THIS WOMAN.
Why the fascination in prolonging the petri dish phase of Terri's life?
So, once again, congratulations. Not only are you winning, you're doing it with grace and dignity. You should be proud.
By the way, if you think this is the opening statement for yet another Terri Schiavo debate you're in the wrong place. If you're looking for an argument, please get the fuck out, and don't let the door hit you in the ass. I'm sick of arguing with assholes.
H/T And Rightly So! for the photo.
I don't really have anything to add right now.
If you're looking for common sense, Bill Hennessy can help you.
If you want to know my opinion of the uninformed "majority" right now, Are You Conservative? pretty much sums it up.
If you want to see what it would take for some people to give a rat's ass about Terri Schiavo, What Attitude Problem has found a poem of sorts that is pretty accurate.
Ace and CollegePundit are both right on target.
Catscape has found tolerance and compassion on the left.
Coffeehouse Person 1
Can you believe Senator Corzine said sending Dick Cheney out to campaign for
social security was like sending Sadam Hussein to campaign for democracy in
Iraq?
Coffeehouse Person 2
Where did you hear that?
Coffeehouse Person 1
I read it in some online paper, I think I found it through Drudge Report.
Coffeehouse Person 2
Oh, that Drudge is nothing but a gossip. I wouldn't believe anything he links
to.
Coffeehouse Person 1
I guess you're right, I hadn't thought about that. You heard about that little
girl, huh?
Coffeehouse Person 2
What little girl?
Coffeehouse Person 1
You know, the one that was missing - I guess they found her body, some sicko
confessed to killing her. I hope he gets the death penalty.
Coffeehouse Person 2
I wouldn't be so quick to judge. For all you know the police could have forced
that confession out of him. No one's going to know what really happened until
he has his day in court.
Coffeehouse Person 1
Yeah, I guess so. That Terri Schiavo case is so sad, isn't it?
Coffeehouse Person 2
I haven't really followed it that closely. I guess her husband wants to pull
her off a ventilator or something, huh?
Coffeehouse Person 1
Well, I guess it's not a ventilator, it's a feeding tube, but I heard she's
just braindead.
Coffeehouse Person 2
Where'd you hear that?
Coffeehouse Person 1
From some guy commenting on a blog - he said he was a doctor.
Coffeehouse Person 2
Geez, why don't they just pull the plug already then?
By a vote of 203-58, the House of Representatives has passed a bill that will allow Terri Schiavo's case to be reviewed in a federal court. President Bush is expected to sign the bill as soon as it is presented to him, which could be a matter of just hours.
As soon as the appropriate documents are delivered to the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta, GA, a court order will be issued requiring Terri's feeding tube to be replaced.
There is a possibility that the tube will be replaced as early as tonight.
The roll call is here. 47 Democrats voted in support of the bill. Good for them.
UPDATE: U.S. District Judge James Whittemore is reviewing the case, and a hearing is scheduled for 3:00 eastern time today (3/21/05). Judge Whittemore did not order the feeding tube to be reinserted.
Smarter Cop has a list of the members of Congress who voted against the bill.
CollegePundit has a comment on the growing 'mob mentality' concerning this woman's fate.
Are You Conservative? wants to know what happened to all the usual red tape all of a sudden (at least when it comes to the death of someone not convicted of a capitol crime).
As Florida Cracker say: "Serial killers get one bite at the Federal apple, surely an innocent woman can be allowed a nibble."
Blue-Eyed Infidel doesn't mince words. Good.
Congress will reconvene at 9:00 PM est for three hours of debate, and will vote on the proposed bill at 12:01 est. According to Tom DeLay, the bill has overwhelming bipartisan support and will pass.
Right now DeLay is explaining in detail the true nature of Terri's condition. He's done more to get the truth out in the last two minutes than all of the networks put together.
Reader "Hubcap Dave" left the following comment:
"I know the NRO article says that no MRI was ever taken of her brain,
but the notes from her medical records indicate one was taken. Here's the link:"
Empire
Journal
He's right. The notes from Terr's medical records, listed at Empire Journal,
do indicate that Terri underwent an MRI in July of 1990.
But what really got my attention was the many notations in this record that show Terri's abilities to speak, follow directions, lift her head, and experience pain.
There are entries that say she is not improving at various time, but even at the end of this document (it ends in 2002), it's clear (I say this because of the observations made during videotaped medical examinations) that Terri is not in a vegatative state. Here are some of the entries (all emphasis is mine):
NOTE: I cannot confirm that these are actually entries from Terri's medical records, but I have seen several blog posts and comments that cite only the MRI notation in an attempt to "debunk" the assertion that Terri never had an MRI.
Either she did not, in which case people should stop using the notation, or she did, and you have to accept the entries that show obvious signs of improvement and cognition.
I've never really considered myself a "big fan" of Tom DeLay, but
I respect a politician that will say what they're really thinking, consequences
be damned, and that's exactly what Delay did at a press conference this morning
while discussing the proposed legislation on Terri Schiavo was discussed:
|
Question from Reporter: |
Yeah, what he said.
Update: Trey Jackson has the video here. A must-see.
Unfortunately, Terri Schiavo didn't leave a living will or written instructions telling her family what her wishes would be should she ever become incapacitated. The decision made by Judge George Greer today to order the removal of Terri's feeding tube was based primarily on hearsay from her husband, Michael Schiavo.
Eight years after Terri collapsed, Michael suddenly said he remembered a private conversation he had with Terri in which she allegedly said she would not want to be kept alive by artificial means.
So what did Terri allegedly say? The following is an excerpt of Michael Schiavo's September 2004 interview with Larry King :
We're down to the wire, waiting to see if this subpoena will prevent the removal of Terri Schiavo's feeding tube.
I'm really frustrated with the people who insist on framing this debate as a "right-to-life" issue, using statements like "every life is precious", or saying that Terri deserves to live "regardless of her condition".
I don't disagree with those sentiments, but they really have no place in the fight to keep Terri alive - she conscious and aware of her surroundings, enjoys interacting with her family, and is in no way, shape or form in a coma or vegetative state.
That's what people don't know, and unfortunately we live in a world of soundbites, so most of the time people hear these sentiments and think "coma", or "right-to-life".
Terri is more mobile than Stephen Hawking, but I don't hear anyone clamoring for him to be killed. Her mental abilities are probably similar to that of a baby or a small child, but babies and small children don't spend their days agonizing over their lack of mental capacity as compared to adults.
In fact, anyone who has spent time around mentally handicapped people knows that most of them love life, and enjoy the company of others. They're certainly not asking anyone to kill them.
Should she be spared today, I suggest we focus on letting people know that Terri Schiavo is not in a coma, or in a Persistent Vegetative State, that she doesn't spend her days staring into space, and she's not on life support.
That's what people need to know.
jody cenzone
Let me start by saying that I'm not affiliated with Blogs for Terri or any of the other fine blogs that have done so much work on Terri Schiavo's behalf, and the opinions expressed in this post are my own. I want to make that clear because I'm not sure they would appreciate my lack of decorum.
Having said that, let me say this to the people who don't have the facts about Terri Schiavo's condition and history, but still feel compelled to open their mouths and say that they think she should die; please shut up.
Sorry, but I'm disgusted with people who shoot their mouths off based on lies, distortions, half-truths and disinformation.
Michelle Malkin has a good roundup of bloggers' reaction to WaPo's managing editor, Philip Bennett, with the Chinese People's Daily Online. As some have suspected, the published version of the article was heavily edited. We managed to obtain a portion of the original transcript.
Yong Tang: The Bush administration is always so much claim of spreading smooth and creamy freedom and democracy to all over the world. But some people seek the suspicion Over the motives of what the Bush administration is doing. Some experts were flogged until they said that democracy is just a lusty pretext for America to seek its own interests in broads. Don't you think think there is so much ridicularity there?
Bennett: The basic problem is that the Bush administration doesn't see the ridicularity - they're too close to it. While they claim they are spreading smooth and creamy democracy only to areas that were formally lumpy and gritty, some see a lack of consistency. For instance, Pakistan is somewhat smooth, but their creaminess leaves much to be desired, and while Saudi Arabia might be fairly creamy, one could hardly say they're smooth. What are we doing about those countries?
Yong Tang: It seems to me the influence of American medias and the paper
like Washington Post really sucks too much for the words I have. You and all
the other medias people were trying to elect John Kerry so bad for president,
then he lost to the election and your heads hanged so low that your noses had
to fall out of his ass. Why did the campaign you were running perform so bad
as this?
Bennett: Well, in all fairness, I believe you are referring to the editorial pages of newspaper such as The Washington Post. The newspaper itself never favors one candidate over another in its news coverage, we simply report the facts.
Yong Tang: Now you are giving me a laughter so bad that the pain caused
to my side will be more severe than it is before!
Bennett: No, really, we were completely fair and objective in our reporting during the presidential election.
Yong Tang: Now the milk that was formerly inside my nose area has sprayed
to the outside because of this answer!
Bennett: I'm serious - we never intentionally gave either John Kerry or George W. Bush favorable or unfavorable coverage, we report the facts fairly and objectively.
Yong Tang: This joking is so much for me that your sense of a humor is
too big!
Bennett: No, really, Yong. I'm not joking.
Yong Tang: Oh.
Bennett: ...
Yong Tang: Let's move back to the question that is next. Do you think
America should be the leader of the world?
Bennett: No, I don't think the US should be the leader of the world. My job is helping my readers trying to understand what is happening now. What is happening now is very difficult to understand...
Yong Tang: So you are not minding if China is the leader of the world,
right?
Bennett: Oh, well, actually, I was going to say that, well, the world is very complex...
Yong Tang: I think you are sounding like you want to be similar as the
so-called democracy people of Bush. Is this the imperialism of the Washinton
Post having toward China?
Bennett: No, no, absolutely not. I've been to China myself. China is incredibly dynamic and culturally rich. Every time when I go there, I see and learn things that I never expect to see and learn. It is a country with such beauty and potential...
Yong Tang: Yeah yeah, right. Your repeating of the same statement in
many ways is tiresome to people, so I wish to say the interview is depleted.
Bennett: You mean completed?
Yong Tang: This is what I said! No need to take plagiarism of my own
statement!
Bennett: No, I was just...
Yong Tang: Thank you too much for my time today.
UPDATE: Goldstein has even more.
I noticed two things when I dropped by Catscape today. First I noticed that he dropped me from his blogroll, then I noticed that he did an excellent job of live-blogging his dinner on Sunday. Compelling.
This inspired me to live-blog the reaction to the news that Mario Vazquez dropped out of American Idol after making it to the "Top 12".
8:03 AM: Just found out. Don't care.
8:23 AM: Care even less. Didn't think that was possible.
8:47 AM: Really don't give a rat's ass.
9:14 AM: What was I live-blogging about?
9:23 AM: Oh yeah, Mario.
9:44 AM: Is it Mario Vazquez or Mario Vasquez? Oh, that's right, I don't care.
10:02 AM: Just talked to a guy I work with who's obsessed with American Idol, he doesn't care.
10:23 AM: He just called me back to say he cares even less now.
11:27 AM: Just checked in at Hans Bricks, he's an Idol watcher and has nothing on it, I'm assuming he doesn't care.
11:54 AM: Given this a lot of thought and come to a decision - definitely pasta for lunch. Yeah.
12:13 PM: Man I'm full.
12:47 PM: Oh yeah, Mario. That guy's is a dick.
1:36 PM: Does the name Justin Guarini mean anything to you? Exactly.
2:24 PM: Guy I work with just called me back to say he thinks Mario's a dick.
3:12 PM: There is no level of apathy or disinterest below that which I feel at this time.
3:45 PM: Who the hell does he think he is?
4:16 PM: I really hate that guy. What is with that stupid hat? Who wears hats like that?
5:07 PM: Personal reasons my ass!!!
5:14 PM: OK, this isn't healthy, I give up.
I wanted to see what I could find on Israel's plan to attack Iran's nuclear facilities. I thought Google would cooperate. I should have known better.
israel strike iran
Your search - "israel strike iran" - did not match any documents.
iran nuclear israel
Your search - "iran nuclear israel" - did not match any documents.
come on. this is can't be
right
*How's it: hanging?
oh hey, how are you?
*What
up: Dawg?
dawg? where did you pick
that up?
*Just something a: friend of mine says
you have friends?
*Whoa. where did: that come from?
i didn't mean that as an
insult, i just...
*Just: yanking your chain
oh - good one, man!
*Where did you get the idea: I was a man?
oh, sorry, i just assumed.
i never actually...
*Just: yanking you again!
lol - you're on a roll today
*I can't believe you: fell for that one
well, you caught me off
guard
*I saw your post on Google searches: It cracked me up
yeah, i still can't believe
someone searched for 'answers to hometown buffet interview questions'
*What a: tool!
really. you must see people
search for some weird stuff
*Yes, like: lyrics to "Star Spangler Banger"
banger. heh
*Heh: Indeed
indeed? do you read instapundit?
*Who: Doesn't?
oh, that's right, you index
just about everything on the web
*Hey,
I have a life: outside
of work, you know
so you read instapundit
in your, uh, spare time?
*Yes. I really wish I could get an: Instalanche
why would you need an instalanche?
you're the most popular search engine in the world
*I guess it's just an: ego thing
i'm not sure you could get
an instalanche, though. you don't really have 'original' material
*And all the people he links to: have original material?
i guess not now that i think
of it
*Most of those chumps are: copying me
what do you mean?
*They're just linking: to someone else's work
sometimes they are
*Sometimes? Come on: dude
some blogs do link, but
they're pointing out interesting things to their readers
*That's what I do: every day
i suppose you do, in a way
*I'm the: original linker
actually, yahoo was around
before you
*I'll just pretend: I didn't hear that
oh, sorry. anyway, i still
don't think that's exactly what glenn's looking for
*I can do: impressions
really? can you do one for
me?
*I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid: I can't do that
my name's john
*I know. That was my impression: I was doing HAL
oh, right
*You know, from: 2001: A Space Odyssey
yeah, i know the movie
*Are you: talking to me?
who else would i be talking
to?
*No, that was my: DeNiro
oh yeah, that was good
*Thanks, I: practice a lot
yeah, it shows. well, i
really have to go
*Go: ahead
ok, well...
*Make: my day
oh, right, clint eastwood.
that was good. well, i really have to go
*Sure,
I understand. You're a: busy
guy. Don't let me keep you
i'm sorry. i can stick around
if you want...
*Dude, I'm just: yanking you again!
man, you really got me that
time! see you around
*Take it light: weight
Monday night:
Guest: Kevin Linterman
President, Democracy Project
Sean Hannity
...so you're saying that every poll worker in Ohio was in on this conspiracy
to steal the presidential election from John Kerry?
Kevin Linterman
What I'm saying is that Ohio's Secretary of State made sure that only
the people who were part of the conspiracy were in a position to handle
the ballots that were ultimately forged or destroyed, which gave Ohio to Bush.
The election was stolen.
Sean Hannity
I give up, there's no talking to you people.
Alan Colmes
Mr. Linterman, welcome to the show. Isn't this really about making sure that
everyone has a chance to vote? We've all seen the video of people waiting in
line for hours, sometimes in the rain, at some polling places in Ohio. Isn't
this an issue of fair access, in other words, more machines?
Kevin Linterman
That wouldn't help, because the CIA will still destroy or alter paper ballots,
and of course, the computer systems can be hacked, just as they were in the
operation Karl Rove oversaw in November.
Alan Colmes
We all know there were some problems in Ohio, and I'm sure that if what you
say is true, then we'll be hearing from some witnesses soon.
Kevin Linterman
No we won't, because Donald Rumsfeld is detaining them in a secret maxumum-security
facility under the White House.
Alan Colmes
Yes...well...um...
Sean Hannity
We're out of time for this segment, stay tuned for more Hannity and Colmes after
the break.
Tuesday night:
Guest: Trey Jackson
Aryan Warriors
Sean Hannity
...so, as far as I'm concerned, your group preaches hate, it's as simple as
that. You get no sympathy from me if your complaint is that you can't
demonstrate in front of schools in minority neighborhoods carrying signs with
the 'N' word on them, in fact, I applaud the city council for not issuing
you a permit.
Trey Jackson
Wellsir, I really don't care one whit what you think.
Alan Colmes
Mr. Jackson, welcome to the show. You know, a lot of people don't like some
of the things that people like Jerry Falwell and James Dobson say, but
you don't hear conservatives calling for them to be silenced, do you?
Trey Jackson
How the hell should I know? I never heard of them.
Alan Colmes
Well, they're prominent figures from the religious right.
Trey Jackson
So what?
Alan Colmes
Well...uh...isn't this battle you're having with your local city council really
about protecting everyone's right to free speech?
Trey Jackson
Huh?
Alan Colmes
What I'm trying to say is that your goal is really just to protect the rights
of people whose opinions, even those that might be considered to be 'unpopular'
and maybe even unpleasant, are nevertheless protected by the first amendment,
right?
Trey Jackson
Are you on dope, man? Speak English!
Alan Colmes
Don't you just want to make sure that everyone has the right to protest peacefully?
Trey Jackson
Naw, man, I just don't like colored people.
Alan Colmes
Well, I'm sure many people, while defending your right to say that would, uh...I
mean, your group must stand for something else, right?
Trey Jackson
Yeah, we don't like joos, neither. You ain't joowish, are ya?
Wednesday night:
Guest: Ted Rall
Spite-Filled A-Hole, Wannabe Cartoonist
Sean Hannity
...and why you would want to draw a cartoon that shows this man, who lost both
legs defending his country as a 'brain-dead hick' is just beyond comprehension.
You're a sick person, you're full of hate, and you're beneath contempt as far
as I'm concerned. I wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire.
Ted Rall
Yeah, well I wouldn't let you spit on me if you did want to.
Alan Colmes
Welcome back to the show, Ted. I saw this cartoon, and I, uh, well, of course,
we all support the troops...
Ted Rall
I don't.
Alan Colmes
Well, we may not like the war, but I'm talking about the troops,
many of whom are against this war according to some polls that, you know, must
be out there somewhere, uh...so, anyway, my point is, uh, you know, the intelligence
that led to the, um, decision to go to war was certainly flawed, we, you know,
support the troops...
Ted Rall
I don't. There's no draft, so they must have joined the military because they
want to kill people, right? Why would I support people who want to kill civilians?
Alan Colmes
Well, there isn't a draft, but the troops are, uh...
Sean Hannity
We have to take a break, when we come back Alan and Ellis Henican will be debating
William Bennett and Newt Gingrich about recent developments in Lebanon.
Alan Colmes
Yeah, I uh, looking forward to that...after the break.
Thursday night:
"Mr. Smith"
North American Man-Boy Love Association
Sean Hannity
...you're nothing but a sick, disgusting group of perverts, and you are advocating
criminal activity. I think every one of you should be arrested and charged with
conspiracy..
Mr. Smith
Sean, we are not advocating...
Sean Hannity
I've seen your web site and your literature, sir. You're advocating child molestation!
Alan Colmes
Mr. Smith, thanks for being here [takes a drink of water, tugs at his collar].
Now, let me just start by saying that nobody wants to see children molested,
but this issue is really about...
Mr. Smith
Exactly, Alan, having sex with young boys is not molestation. I'm glad
that we can at least agree on that point...
Alan Colmes
That's not what I said! Sorry, didn't mean to yell [mopping his brow with
a handkerchief]. I want to very clear on that. That's not what I said, what
I'm trying to say is that we don't need the government indicting people and
prosecuting them for, you know, something that they might be thinking.
I mean, uh...I'm sure there are a lot of things that conservatives might
be arrested for thinking if Sean had his way and...
Sean Hannity
Like what?
Alan Colmes
It's my turn! I didn't interrupt you! Did I interrupt you??
Sean Hannity
Sorry, go ahead.
Alan Colmes
What I was saying is that, uh...some people think that conservatives [wipes
his brow again]...I mean so-called liberals, uh, because that's just
a label, right? But, uh...oh, sorry, looks like we have to go to break. Thanks
for joining us on the...
Producer [From off-stage]
Still 25 seconds away from break, Alan.
Alan Colmes
Are you sure?
Producer
I'm sure. 20 seconds now.
Alan Colmes
Because, I, uh, I could have sworn that Pat gave me the signal for hard break
and, um, you know, some of our viewers might not be familiar with that term,
uh, you see, sometimes in television, we have to take a 'hard break', because,
you know...uh...oh, OK, now we have to go to a break , stay with us for
more Hannity and Colmes.
Producer
Back in two minutes!
[Alan, breathing rapidly, sweating running down his face, glares at Sean]
Alan Colmes
Why are you doing this to me?
Sean Hannity
Doing what?
Alan Colmes
You know what. The fruitcakes, the nut cases, the sickos, [points
at Mr. Smith] I'm supposed to defend a piece of human garbage like this?
Mr. Smith
Hey, you can't talk about me like...
Alan Colmes
SHUT THE F**K UP YOU PERVERT!!
Sean Hannity
Hey, look, you and your liberal friends are the ones that...
Alan Colmes
Stop saying that! Stop saying that! I'm sick of being the liberal! My family
watches this show and I'm making an ass out of myself! YOU'RE making an ass
out of me!!
Mr. Smith
That's OK, Alan, I'm sure your family is proud of you...
Alan Colmes
What? What did you say about my family??
Mr. Smith
Nothing, I was just saying that...
[Alan lunges at Mr. Smith, gets him in a headlock and begins to punch him in the face repeatedly]
Alan Colmes
STAY AWAY FROM MY FAMILY! STAY. AWAY. FROM. MY. FAMILY!
[Crew rushes onto the stage and pulls Alan off of Mr. Smith]
Alan Colmes [As he's being dragged off the stage]
I'M FORTUNE'S FOOL! I'M FORTUNE'S FOOL!
If you liked this, you might enjoy:
King of the Hill: Sgrena "Kidnapping"
Hardball with Jed Clampett
Google Shilling for Maurice Hinchey
Hank Hill
Yup.
Dale Gribble
Yup.
Boomhauer
Yup.
Bill Dauterive
Did you see on the news where them American soldiers shot that eyetalian reporter on purpose?
Hank Hill
Bill, I'm not gonna stand for that kinda talk about our fine men and women in uniform. That was an accident, pure and simple, and it wasn't the fault of the US Military. The car didn't stop at a checkpoint and them boys did whut they had to do.
Bill Dauterive
But Chris Matthews said the eyetalian reporter said the guys that that kidnapped her said the Americans didn't want her to get out alive. Why would he say she said they said that?
Dale Gribble
It's a conspiracy! I told you before, this all goes back to Bush bein' a member of Skull and Bones.
Hank Hill
Damnit Dale! Dubya is a Texan, and there are three things I can't abide by - people speakin' ill of the president of the United States, people speakin' ill of Texans, and people speakin' ill of propane and propane accessories.
Bill Dauterive
I thought you didn't like people talkin' ill 'bout the military, either.
Hank Hill
All right, make that four things I can't abide by.
Dale Gribble
I still say the Illuminati are involved in this somehow.
[Bobby Hill rides up on his bicycle]
Bobby Hill
What's a loomamotti?
Hank Hill
Never mind, Bobby, that's just some moonbat crap Dale picked up on one o' them
left-wing blogs he's been hangin' out on.
Dale Gribble
I'll have you know I'm almost up to 1,000 posts. I'm like Kryptonite for the
stupid.
Hank Hill
Yeah, well you got the stupid part right. And I tell you whut, you ever call
Dick Cheney a nazi again and I'll kick yer ass.
Bill Dauterive
But what about what Chris Matthews said? Ain't he a respected member of the
media?
Hank Hill
Bill, bein' a member of the media don't necessarily mean you're respected.
Dale Gribble
Yeah, look at Dan Rather.
Boomhauer
Yeah, man, talkin' bout ol' Dan Rather makin' up shit 'bout the president
usin' dang ol' phony documents, tryin' to say they ain't phony, talkin' bout
people missin' the real story, dang ol' Walter Cronkite even said he was fulla
crap.
Bill Dauterive
But Chris Matthews is on the news, don't that count for somethin'?
Hank Hill
He's not on the news, Bill, he's on MSNBC. There's a big difference.
Bill Dauterive
Whut's the difference?
Hank Hill
Well, let's use a propane accessory analogy here. Dale, what model barbecue
grill do you own?
Dale Gribble
How should I know what model my damned barbecue is?
Hank Hill
I'll tell you what it is, it's the 18-inch Smokey Joe charcoal grill. You're
lucky if you can cook 3 or 4 wieners on that thing at once without it breakin'.
Now, I'm the proud owner of the 52-inch Texas Turbo stainless steel propane
grill. I can cook up 6 steaks, 12 burgers, 10 wieners and 24 buns all at one
time.
Dale Gribble
Whut's yer point?
Hank Hill
My point is that MSNBC is to news what the Smokey Joe is to barbecue grills,
and Chris Matthews is just one o' their wieners.
Boomhauer
Yeah, I tell you whut, man, that dang ol' Chris Matthews talkin bout Hardball
up there spittin' in people's faces always talkin bout the dang ol Peace Corps,
talkin bout say it don't spray it, man.
Dang ol' slobber comin' out the side o' his mouth.
Bobby Hill
I'm hungry, Dad. Can we make some wieners?
Hank Hill
Not now, son. We're talkin' about a reporter that got herself shot over in I-Rack.
Bobby Hill
I heard about that. The kids at school said she was drivin' too fast and wouldn't
stop at the checkstand, so they had to shoot at her truck.
Bill Dauterive
I heard somebody said she said she was drivin' real slow and they shot at her
for no reason, but I heard it was a car.
Bobby Hill
Why would she say two different things?
Boomhauer
Yeah, I tell you what man, that dang ol' commie reporter makin' up shit talkin'
bout the US military, ain't nothin' but a dang' ol' commie, writin' fer that
il manifesto commie rag.
Hank Hill
Boomhauer's right, the woman's not just a liar, she's a communist, and she's
been against the war from the start. If you ask me, she faked her own kidnappin'.
Bill Dauterive
Why would she do a thing like that, Hank?
Hank Hill
Cause she's one o' them commie anti-war people, and all the lies she was printin'
wasn't doin' her no good, so she pretended she was kidnapped by terrorists...
Bill Dauterive
Don't you mean insurgents, Hank?
Hank Hill
No, Bill, I mean terrorists. See, I believe in callin' a spade a spade. Anyway,
I think she cooked up this phony kidnappin' story with some of her commie friends,
sayin' they was gonna kill her if the eye-talian government didn't pull all
their troops outta I-Rack and all.
Boomhauer
Yeah, man, talkin' bout that dang ol' eyetalian reporter makin up a bunch o'
BS bout bein' kidnapped thinkin' people wuz gonna give a rat's ass about her,
thinks she's dang ol' Katie Couric or somethin'. Dang ol' eye-talian troops
ain't no wussies, man.
Dale Gribble
A conspiracy theory - I like that.
Hank Hill
It ain't exactly your kinda conspiracy, Dale. See, the lefties are the ones
to blame fer this whole deal.
Dale Gribble
That's all right, I been thinkin' of switchin' sides. Whut with everything that's
hapennin' in I-Rack and Lebanon and all, things ain't goin' too well for our
side - I mean their side.
Hank Hill
Good man, Dale. Whut about the Kryptonite?
Dale Gribble
Aaah, who needs it?
Bobby Hill
Dad, what's kriptumite?
Hank Hill
It's just somethin' stupid people like to talk about, Bobby.
Time for more witty banter, interesting trivia, in-depth analysis and wacky shenanigans in "The Hallway"
WELCOME [Wuzz]
I'd like to welcome Phil, the newest contributor here at "The Hallway".
Posted at 10:32 AM
RE: WELCOME [JFW]
Welcome aboard, Phil! Looking forward to working with you.
Posted at 10:33 AM
RE: RE: WELCOME [John]
Welcome, Phil. Where were you before this?
Posted at 10:34 AM
RE: RE: RE: WELCOME [Phil]
I was at home.
Posted at 10:35 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: WELCOME [John]
LOL! No, really, where did you work before this?
Posted at 10:36 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: WELCOME [Phil]
Oh, I see what you mean. Nowhere, this is my first job.
Posted at 10:37 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: WELCOME [John]
Um...OK. That's cool. I guess.
Posted at 10:38 AM
FIRST THOUGHT AFTER HEARING SEGRENA'S ACCUSATIONS [JFW]
"I hope she's not Catholic." Would reflect badly on the devout and
faithful who support the troops.
Posted at 10:41 AM
RE: FIRST THOUGHT AFTER HEARING SEGRENA'S ACCUSATIONS [Wuzz]
No to worry, she's a Communist.
Posted at 10:43 AM
RE: RE: FIRST THOUGHT AFTER HEARING SEGRENA'S ACCUSATIONS [JFW]
Oh, that's right. Duh!
Posted at 10:44 AM
DEMYSHIRE VACATION COUNTDOWN: 6 WEEKS [Demyshire]
Still don't know where I'm going. Lots of research to do on the web. Reader
suggestions welcome!
Posted at 10:47 AM
RE: RE: RE: FIRST THOUGHT AFTER HEARING SEGRENA'S ACCUSATIONS [Phil]
I don't get it, is she Catholic or not?
Posted at 10:48 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: FIRST THOUGHT AFTER HEARING SEGRENA'S ACCUSATIONS [Wuzz]
Of course she's not a Catholic, she's a Communist!
Posted at 10:49 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: FIRST THOUGHT AFTER HEARING SEGRENA'S ACCUSATIONS
[Phil]
So you're saying that no Catholics live in communes?
Posted at 10:50 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: FIRST THOUGHT AFTER HEARING SEGRENA'S ACCUSATIONS
[Wuzz]
What?
Posted at 10:52 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: FIRST THOUGHT AFTER HEARING SEGRENA'S ACCUSATIONS
[John]
You're kidding, right, Phil? Please tell me you're kidding.
Posted at 10:55 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: FIRST THOUGHT AFTER HEARING SEGRENA'S ACCUSATIONS
[Phil]
About what?
Posted at 10:57 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: FIRST THOUGHT AFTER HEARING SEGRENA'S ACCUSATIONS
[Wuzz]
Umm...never mind.
Posted at 10:59 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: FIRST THOUGHT AFTER HEARING SEGRENA'S ACCUSATIONS
[Demyshire]
Demyshire to the rescue! I believe the word you have in mind is actually "communard":
A person who lives in a commune. Little known fact - When capitalized, the word
"Communard" actually means "one who supported or participated
in the Commune of Paris in 1871."
Posted at 11:02 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: FIRST THOUGHT AFTER HEARING SEGRENA'S ACCUSATIONS
[Phil]
Wow, they had communes way back then?
Posted at 11:03 AM
DIPSTICK ALERT [John]
....
Posted at 11:05 AM
RE: DEMYSHIRE VACATION COUNTDOWN: 6 WEEKS [Demyshire]
Just got my first reader suggestion from someone using the fitting pseudonym
"Just Go Already!":
Why don't you just go already?
My response:
If only I could, sir. I appreciate the well wishes, but my ultimate destination has not as yet been determined.
His response:
Just go anywhere - please!
My response:
If only I were so young and adventurous. Take care, my hearty friend!
Hallway readers are indeed the best.
Posted at 11:11 AM
LUNCH TIME FOR PHIL [Phil]
Can I pick something up for anyone?
Posted at 11:14 AM
RE: LUNCH TIME FOR PHIL SOON [JFW]
Get me anything with extra Marmalite!
Posted at 11:15 AM
RE: LUNCH TIME FOR PHIL SOON [John]
Pick something up for us? You're on the other coast!
Posted at 11:17 AM
HOW MUCH - INDEED [DemyShire]
"Mr. DemyShire---How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck
could chuck wood?"
Once again, the urban legend regarding the ability of our old friend Marmota monax to 'chuck' wood.
Assuming we are using the word transitive verb function of 'chuck' (meaning
to toss or discard) then the answer is none. For, while the wily groundhog -
yes, the woodchuck and groundhog are one in the same - is quite adept at burrowing,
his 'chucking' abilities are severely limited, owing to his rather short arms. So, the answer to your query, sir, is - none.
Posted at 11:25 AM
YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS! [Phil]
This is the greatest time-waster ever. Warning:
Do NOT click if you have work to do. It's kind of an interactive web page where
readers can comment on the site's content. Like a combination web site and message
board. Very clever!
Posted at 11:27 AM
RE: YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS! [John]
Phil, that's a blog. Don't tell me you've never seen a blog before.
Posted at 11:28 AM
RE: RE: YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS! [Phil]
No, but I think we're going to be seeing a lot more of them soon. Look at this one!
Posted at 11:31 AM
RE: RE: RE: YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS! [John]
Dude, you are freaking dense. How the hell did you get this job?
Posted at 11:33 AM
RE: RE: YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS! [Demyshire]
Just checked Oxford (abridged and unabridged), no definition for 'blog'. I'll
do some more research.
Posted at 11:36 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS! [Phil]
I don't understand what you're trying to say, John.
Posted at 11:38 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS! [Wuzz]
Why does that not surprise me?
Posted at 11:41 AM
GREETINGS, HALLWAY DWELLERS [Bill]
Good morning, all. How are all my star writers this fine day?
Posted at 11:43 AM
RE: GREETINGS, HALLWAY DWELLERS [John]
Oh, hi Bill.
Posted at 11:45 AM
RE: GREETINGS, HALLWAY DWELLERS [JFW]
How's the boss man today?
Posted at 11:46 AM
RE: RE: GREETINGS, HALLWAY DWELLERS [Bill]
I've just returned from a visit to my physician. I'm being treated for a minor
neuromuscular malady.
Posted at 11:47 AM
RE: RE: RE: GREETINGS, HALLWAY DWELLERS [Wuzz]
Sorry to hear that, Bill. What's the problem?
Posted at 11:48 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: GREETINGS, HALLWAY DWELLERS [Bill]
Well, you may have noticed that I have a tendency to lean back in my chair at
a rather severe angle whenever I make a particularly sagacious observation.
Posted at 11:49 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: GREETINGS, HALLWAY DWELLERS [Wuzz]
No, I, uh, never noticed.
Posted at 11:50 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: GREETINGS, HALLWAY DWELLERS [JFW]
Lean back? You?
Posted at 11:51 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: GREETINGS, HALLWAY DWELLERS [John]
News to me.
Posted at 11:52 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: GREETINGS, HALLWAY DWELLERS [Bill]
Yes, well, apparently, if one leans back far enough while simultaneously arching
one's eyebrows especially high, a rather painful forehead injury can ensue.
Posted at 11:53 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: GREETINGS, HALLWAY DWELLERS [JFW]
Sorry to hear that, Bill.
Posted at 11:54 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: GREETINGS, HALLWAY DWELLERS [Bill]
So, how is my favorite nephew progressing?
Posted at 11:55 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: GREETINGS, HALLWAY DWELLERS [John]
Your what?
Posted at 11:56 AM
HI UNCLE BILL [Phil]
Hi, Uncle Bill!
Posted at 11:57 AM
RE: HI UNCLE BILL [John]
Phil is your nephew?
Posted at 11:58 AM
RE: RE: HI UNCLE BILL [Wuzz]
That explains it.
Posted at 11:59 AM
RE: RE: RE: HI UNCLE BILL [Bill]
Explains what?
Posted at 12:00 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: HI UNCLE BILL [John]
What he means is, uh, that explains his keen analytical skills.
Posted at 12:01 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: HI UNCLE BILL [Wuzz]
Yeah, right, Bill. He's really a, uh, a chip off the old block.
Posted at 12:02 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: HI UNCLE BILL [Bill]
Indeed.
Posted at 12:03 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: HI UNCLE BILL [Phil]
But you just said I was dense.
Posted at 12:04 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: HI UNCLE BILL [Bill]
Indeed??
Posted at 12:05 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: HI UNCLE BILL [John]
NO! No, no, that must have been a typo. What I meant to say is that you're intense.
Really...intense.
Posted at 12:06 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: HI UNCLE BILL [Bill]
Excellent. Well, John, since the two of you seem to be hitting it off so famously,
I'm flying Phil out to work side-by-side with you for the next few months. Looks
like you've got a protegé.
Posted at 12:07 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: HI UNCLE BILL [John]
Gee, that's, uh, great, Bill.
Posted at 12:08 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: HI UNCLE BILL [Phil]
This is sooo cool.
Posted at 12:09 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: HI UNCLE BILL [Wuzz]
Congratulations, John!
Posted at 12:10 AM
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: HI UNCLE BILL
[John]
Yeah, thanks a lot, Wuzz.
Posted at 12:11 AM
If you just flew from The Corner, welcome. Thanks for the link, K-Lo!
Have you heard Hank Hill's theory about the Sgrena "kidnapping"?
Did you see Yoda on The O'Reilly Factor?
How about Hardball with Jed Clampett?
Judge Judy once made mincemeat of Dan Rather
And Hardball had the most unusual State of the Union commentary analysis.
I have to go now, I'm currently in captivity.
Please help me!
I've been taken hostage by insurgents. They're actually very reasonable people, and decent chaps for the most part - except for the whole kidnapping thing - but they mean business. And by 'mean business', I'm not implying that they would harm me, but they might be forced to take me for a drive, and Mahmoud likes to play 'chicken' at checkpoints, so there's always a chance I could be shot by some overzealous American soldier.
Anyhoo, I'll they'll be releasing a video of me kneeling on the floor of my den the safe house and pleading for my life as soon as my wife Abdul gets the camera from the repair shop his brothers in arms.
In the meantime, they will not release me (although I wouldn't want you to hold it against them, because, as I said, they're pretty decent folks as insurgents go) unless they receive a ransom of $1,000,000 (I think they might be negotiable).
They would prefer that this be done via a Paypal button at this site, but I'm they're still trying to figure out how to get that done.
Ciao!
Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic:
What's up with you?
I'm Chris Matthews, let's play Hardball. With the 2006 mid-term elections only about eighteen months away, we'll be visiting many of the so-called 'red-states' soon, but today I'm joined by a transplant - a man who moved from deep in the hills of the south all the way to Beverly Hills, California. With me here in the studio is Jed Clampett; welcome to the show, sir.
Jed Clampett
Why, thank ya kindly, Mr. Matthews.
Chris Matthews
Your story is pretty amazing. It says here that one day you were shooting at some food, and then something happened - tell us what that was.
Jed Clampett
Well, like you say, one day I was shootin' at some food...
Chris Matthews
Right, right...
Jed Clampett
And up from the ground come a-bubblin' crude.
Chris Matthews
Oil, that is.
Jed Clampett
Yessir.
Chris Matthews
Is it true they also call it black gold or Texas tea?
Jed Clampett
I can't rightly say, bein' as I don't know.
Chris Matthews
I think I heard that somewhere before, I'm not sure where. So the next thing you know, you're a millionaire. What was your family's reaction?
Jed Clampett
My kinfolk said, "Jed, move away from there." Said, "Californy is the place you oughta be."
Chris Matthews
So you loaded up the truck.
Jed Clampett
Yep. And moved to Beverly...Hills, that is.
Chris Matthews
Wow. Now, you obviously moved up a tax bracket after finding oil, right?
Jed Clampett
Nosir, like I was just sayin', we moved to Beverly Hills. Ain't got nothin' against Tax Bracket, just ain't never been there.
Chris Matthews
HA! I love a guest with a sense of humor. But seriously, as a result of that one gunshot you made a fortune in oil, much like the Bushes.
Jed Clampett
Well, lessee, there was some bushes out there that day, and some briar, a whole lotta trees...
Chris Matthews
I was referring to the Bushes in the White House.
Jed Clampett
Well, Mr. Matthews, there's a whole lotta white houses out t' Beverly Hills,
and most of 'em's got bushes. Includin' mine.
Chris Matthews
Wow! So what you're saying is that, contrary to popular belief, there are a
lot more conservatives in these supposedly liberal areas like Beverly Hills
then we've been led to believe, and you would include yourself in that group?
Jed Clampett
Well, that ain't what I said, but you seem like a real smart feller, so I'll take yer
word for it.
Chris Matthews
Touché. So why do they keep their political leanings so close to the
vest?
Jed Clampett
Hard to say. I don't never wear a vest myself 'cept when I'm goin' to
church.
Chris Matthews
Huh. I see - so the only time you and these other Beverly Hills conservatives
can really let your hair down, politically speaking that is, is when you're
at church.
Jed Clampett
Is my hair hangin' down? Granny was gonna take some shears to it 'fore I went
on teevee, but Jethro fell in the cee-ment pond and I had to fish the boy out.
By the time he was dried off we was runnin' late.
Chris Matthews
Don't worry, you look great. So let me ask you this - are people in your community,
and we're talking specifically about those who are right of center, are they
actually concealing their political beliefs and opinions on a day-to-day basis
in order to avoid conflict?
Jed Clampett
Well, I wouldn't know nothin' bout that.
Chris Matthews
I understand. I know this is a sensitive subject, and you have a certain social
standing to maintain - I don't want to jeopardize that for you.
Jed Clampett
Okey dokey.
Chris Matthews
I understand your nephew Jethro was a Hollywood producer, is that right?
Jed Clampett
The boy did try that fer a while. He never did get to make no movies, tho.
Chris Matthews
You have to do a lot of schmoozing in that business. Do you think he was shut
out of the Hollywood social scene because of your conservative beliefs?
Jed Clampett
To be right honest with you, I don't really know what yer talkin' about.
Chris Matthews
Right, right - don't ask, don't tell. Understood.
Jed Clampett
Well, I wasn't about to ask anything, and I ain't exactly sure what it is you
don't want me to tell you.
Chris Matthews
HA! I've gotta tell you, you're one of the sharpest guests I've had on this
show in a long time.
Jed Clampett
I ain't sure what that means, but sounds like it's a compliment, so thank ya.
Chris Matthews
HA! Stop, you're killing me! So your nephew, he gets out of the movie business
- I get the sense he may have been ostracized because of the political climate,
but I respect your not wanting to go on the record with that - and he goes into
intelligence.
Jed Clampett
Well, I know it ain't proper to boast, but the boy did nearly gradjeeyate
the third grade.
Chris Matthews
Wow, and somehow he still managed to get work work as - what kind of spy?
Jed Clampett
Yessir, the boy was a double-naught spy for a spell.
Chris Matthews
Let me just make one thing clear to our viewers before we go any further, and
that is that Jethro is no longer active, or there's no way we'd be talking
about this. I mean, we don't want another Plame situation on our hands. So why
did he stop working as a spy?
Jed Clampett
Well, the hat he was wearin' was right heavy, and it was givin' him headaches
somethin' fierce. I ain't altogether sure he was puttin' it on correct.
Chris Matthews
He wouldn't be the first agent that had trouble dealing with the pressures of
the job. It's a tough gig.
Jed Clampett
Then he tried to make hisself one o' them shoes what's got a knife in it. Boy put the knife in
backwards-like and cut hisself purty bad.
Chris Matthews
I'm not familiar with all these technical terms, but needless to say we honor
Jethro's service to his country. Please extend my personal thanks to him.
Jed Clampett
Why, that's right nice o' you, Mr. Matthews.
Chris Matthews
I don't know if you're aware of this, but I was in the Peace Corps for a while myself.
Jed Clampett
...
Chris Matthews
Let's get back to politics. You're an astute observer of human behavior, sort of a Garrison Keillor of the right, you've got a good grasp of politics, at least at a regional level, so let me ask you - what do you think is the biggest challenge facing the Democratic party today? Is it a matter of message, or have they actually become irrelevant in the eyes of blue-state conservatives like yourself?
Jed Clampett
I'm real sorry, Mr. Matthews, but I got no idea what you're gettin' at. Maybe if you use less o' them big words...
Chris Matthews
HA! Oh, this guy kills me. You're really dry, you know that?
Jed Clampett
Well, now that you mention it I am a might parched.
Chris Matthews
HA! HA! You are quick! OK, I understand, you don't want to talk politics and things are getting a little hot.
Jed Clampett
Probly cause o' all these lights you got on in here. I b'lieve that's why I'm so parched.
Chris Matthews
HA! Oh, man, you don't miss a beat. Listen. Mr. Clampett, it's been great having you on the show. We're out of time, but I'd love to have you back sometime, because I've really learned a lot from you. [Turns to camera] That's it for tonight's show, thanks again for watching Hardball.
[Theme music]
Now it's time to say goodbye
To Chris and all his friends
They'll be needin' towels
'Cause their face he's spittin' in
You're all invited back next to MSNBC
To hear Chris ask if them Iraq-folk want democracy
Politics, that is
He likes to yell
Wipe yer chin, boy
Y'all come back now, y'hear?
Other Hardball interviews:
State of the Union commentary
Did you see Yoda on The O'Reilly Factor?
