Iraqi Election: Live-Blogging

 

I just got home.  The polls in Iraq opened about 45 minutes ago, I'll be live-blogging the election coverage on the cable news networks:

Geraldo Rivera
...on this most exciting, joyous, and indeed historic of occasions in the lives of these proud Iraqi people, who have lived for so long under the tyrannical rule of the murderous, bloodthirsty, megalomaniacal, power-hungry, sadistic, brutal dictator Sadam Hussein.  I have here with me Sergeant Buck Trainor of the Fighting First Cav, a unit my brother and I spent quite a bit of time with in Afghanistan. Come on over here, Sarge. 

Sergeant Trainor
Good to see you, Geraldo.

Geraldo Rivera
Good to see you again, man.  The last time I saw you, my brother Greg and I had just driven across some of the most treacherous territory in Afghanistan, literally putting our lives at risk in a valiant effort to reach the front lines.  I recall our driver, a little guy we called 'Wazzi', saying that he'd never seen a more courageous and dedicated...

(CHANNEL CHANGE)

Joe Scarborough
Ron Reagan, this will be the first time in over fifty years that the people of Iraq will have the opportunity to participate in a free, fair, and  democratic election.  What are your thoughts on this historic occasion?

Ron Reagan
Well, Joe, there are over a thousand candidates in this election.  They are as diverse as the people of Iraq, comprising Sunnis, Shi'ites and Kurds.  Fortunately for the people of Iraq, none of them are bible-thumping evangelicals Jesus-freaks determined to shove their religious beliefs down the throats of....

(CHANNEL CHANGE)

Greta van Susteren
...so once again, it appears that this was a lone suicide bomber who never made it to his intended destination, blowing himself up at a checkpoint instead.  Joining me now is Cyril Wecht, nationally renowned forensic pathologist.  Dr. Wecht, it's good to see you again, looks like you've been working on that tan.

Wecht
Good to be here, Greta.

Greta van Susteren
Dr. Wecht, with an explosion of this kind, that is, someone actually blowing himself up with what was apparently a fairly powerful explosive device, what kind of injuries would you expect to see?

Wecht
Well, Greta, the bomber himself was most likely literally blown to bits.

Greta van Susteren
What about possible secondary injuries?

Wecht
Well, one would assume that the resulting spray of shrapnel, bone fragments, bits of skull...

(CHANNEL CHANGE)

Joe Scarborough
Our own David Schuster is in Baghdad.  David, there have been a lot of concerns about security there, with the Sunni Arabs threatening to kill anyone who takes part in this election.

David Shuster
That's right, Joe.  Unfortunately, those threats have been very effective, resulting in widespread fear, and leaving very little hope of any meaningful participation in this election...

Joe Scarborough
David, I hate to interrupt you, but right now I'm looking at a live feed from Mosul, and it appears that there are long lines at the polling places.  In fact, it looks like there are hundreds of people waiting to vote there as we speak.

David Shuster
Really?  Well, Joe, considering the situation on the ground in Mosul, I'd say those people are practically sitting ducks in an area controlled by Baathist extremists...

Joe Scarborough
I can also see American snipers positioned strategically on rooftops...

David Shuster
They wouldn't be the first snipers to be taken out by...

(CHANNEL CHANGE)

Rita Cosby
I'm joined now by Tom Hammill, who spent about three weeks in captivity in Iraq before making a dramatic and highly publicized escape.  Tom, I want to thank you for joining me here tonight.

Hammill
It's my pleasure, Rita.

Rita Cosby
So, what are your thoughts tonight as these brave Iraqi citizens, with whom you developed such a strong bond before your capture, venture out to vote in a democratic election for the first time in their lives?

Hammill
Rita, I'm overjoyed by the prospect of these...

Rita Cosby
I'm sorry Tom, but we're running short on time, so let me ask you something.  I know you still have quite a few friends in Iraq, tell me, what do they think about the Michael Jackson case?

Hammill
The Michael Jackson case?

Rita Cosby
They probably don't see as much of the coverage as we do here in The States, but certainly they must be aware of the colossal blunder made by Tom Sneddon, the DA who announced very early on that the case was, in his words, 'a slam dunk'.  Of course, those words came back to...

(CHANNEL CHANGE)

Joe Scarborough
...and what appear to be American military helicopters patrolling the skies..

David Shuster
I'd hate to be in one of those choppers, considering the capabilities of the surface-to-air missiles the insurgents...

(CHANNEL CHANGE)

Geraldo Rivera
...so my brother Greg tells the guy - hey, are you listening?

Sergeant Trainor
What?  Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm listening.

Geraldo Rivera
He says to this guy, "Look man, you don't want to mess with me.  My brother and I are both third-degree black belts, and these hands are registered weapons..."

(CHANNEL CHANGE)

Ron Reagan
...buck-toothed, cousin-marrying, ignorant Neanderthal...

(CHANNEL CHANGE)

Rita Cosby
...said that Jackson gave him wine, which he called "Jesus juice", showed him pornographic pictures, and asked him to touch...

(CHANNEL CHANGE)

Joe Scarborough
...tanks and armored vehicles surrounding the city on all sides..

Shuster
One IED and those tanks are toast.

(CHANNEL CHANGE)

Cyril Wecht
...massive pulmonary barotrauma, which of course, is the most common fatal primary blast injury...

(CHANNEL CHANGE)

Joe Scarborough
...there we see Interim Iraqi Prime Minister Ayad Allawi casting his ballot...

David Shuster
Wouldn't want to be him, Joe.

(CHANNEL CHANGE)

Rita Cosby
How could they not know who Kobe Bryant is?

Hammill
I don't even know who that is.

(CHANNEL CHANGE)

Joe Scarborough
And that, of course, is Iraqi Interim President Ghazi al-Yawer casting his ballot...

David Shuster
Dead man walking.

(TELEVISION OFF)

I give up.  I'll check the papers in the morning.

Comments

[Gentle Giant]

Spot-on!

[Some Guy]

Looks like you a real Ron Reagan fan. Guess that makes 1.

[Brad Menfil]

Brad Is Back To Reassert His Argument That Rigged Elections Have Consequences

Brad Menfil

Raw Story has a piece which backs up my assertion that the 2004 election was rigged. The Diebold machines were suseptible to hacking. And this is exactly what happened. I told you so. Please read my memos from late last year.

We are now reaping this terrible harvest. Bush has left us totally unprotected, hated and unprepared.

Katrina jolted the media back from the dead. It reported the devastating course (as witnessed by the Katrina disaster) that we have followed by allowing the "election" of George Bush last year. Could you imagine any other president being this callous towards his fellow Americans?

Well, the signs were there. We've been tricked and led into war, large deficits, unnecessary tax cuts and a host of other bad policies. And now, disaster upon disaster. Katrina pushed New Orleans into the water and Bush withheld the life preserver. Only after unrelenting bad news did Bush make the necessary effort. But believe this, he's more worried about his legacy than about the victims of the hurricane.

And this is just one consequence, leading to a multitude of tragedies, and total economic depravation for millions, of the re-election of George Bush.

Do you remember how we were told that John Kerry could not protect us? And that George Bush would keep us safe? Well all the pundits like Chris Matthews, David Schuster, everybody at Fox, and the rest of the sheep can now accept a portion of the blame for our recent tragedies. Because they supported the Bush campaign rhetoric, they refused to really report the election fraud, and they gave credence to the Swift Boat Bullshit. They helped re-elect the most dangerous president in the 229 year history of our great country.

There is hope. New Orleans will rise again and George Bush will continue to sink along with his poll numbers. If he stays unpopular, then he will damage his party and will not be able to push through his horrible agenda. Maybe, just maybe, he'll be forced to admit his mistake in Iraq and those soldiers can come home and protect us here instead of fighting an unwinnable war.

Please revisit last year's election. Read up and seek the truth and DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN!!!

Brad Menfil
September 17, 2005

[John from WuzzaDem]

Hey, thanks for the comment and extensive cites and links to back up your devastating charges of election fraud, "Brad Menfil."

I assume you're the same "Brad Menfil" who even left-wing sites said was a fraud, right? Actually, I think you're some goofball using his name.

You say Raw Story has a piece backing up your 2004 election rigging conspiracy theory??? I'm shocked that a far-left web site would back you up on that.

Of course, even Chris Matthews' lacky David Shuster said you were a fraud, but, of course, as you point out, Matthews and Shuster are part of Karl Rove's evil right-wing spin machine.

Whoever you are, you might as well give it a rest. The famous "Brad Menfil" stories were even debunked at Daily Kos (that had to sting, huh?), and they even linked to the discussion board thread where "Brad Menfil" claimed to get inside information on Bush's being "wired" during the 2004 debates. You remember that thread, don't you? The one where the guy who you claimed gave you the information came in and called you a liar?

I thought you might remember that.

So, now that you've been laughed at by the left, is your new strategy to start haunting conservative blogs, presenting your explosive evidence of fraud and cover-ups? That might not work out too well, you might want to think it over.

[Smitty]

It's funny because it's so true!

Good stuff!

Please I beg you do a take off on Nancy Grace's show.

I'd give good money to see that.

-cs™